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*Breaks the fat litar bottle and stabs holes in self*
There is something wrong with society that makes me want to stab it with the broken end of a LITER bottle. That's right, no fucking forty, I use the metric system like the rest of the world. Why? Because it makes sense, no more 4 quarts to a gallon, 2 cups to a pint, 16 ounces to a pound shit, bitches don't make me want to blow you up all over ( Read more... ) -
Yoko Ono Should Kick Bono in the Nuts, like the rest of us
I'm in love with looking like the wind. From bed to work in less than forty minutes, I'm going for the world record.
Somewhere along the line I stopped sleeping. There have been no naps for me, just yoga with yuppies. I make fun of their culture and defile their existences while staring at the strange blue-eyed russian with a third grader's ( Read more... ) -
The Pope wants to hate me, but has my head plastered on nudes
I know why on the q-tip box they say not to put them in your ear canal, it feels so good it is insanely addicting. I'm surprised the Pope hasn't banned Q-tips from his adoring masses. (They say that the German beast has been tamed, but look, they installed an iconic leader to control the worlds richest religion; I smell a conspiracy)
This weekend ( Read more... ) -
The Ill skill dulled out like some blade through your throax
I work too much, not enough time to plot. I have shirts with my name spelled correctly on them, however people have not figured out how to spell it. I believe this is a 1 foot in front of monitor problem that is not my fault ( Read more... ) -
Because they don't have green and red knobs to tell you if they are occupied
like bathrooms in Europe. Why is this and why are some on both green and red?
I had too much caffeine, came up with too many ideas, and pondered the world one too many times. However some awesome recpies have come out of it. -
i can now update my resume
With a chemist who worked at a soy sauce factory. I just have to make it out of there with some of the products before I get fired for being a moron.
I guess that means I need to have an unretirement party. -
Thank your gods she has a sewing machine
The gym doesn't do it, the wall doesn't do it, the only thing that seems calming at the moment is sewing. Strange ( Read more... ) -
my last two job prospects fell through
I feel like donating large sums of money to charity and going seriously broke. Honestly, how can you say that my work history does not convey a sense of 'reliability', when I was a student during those times. I don't understand these people. I have TWO FUCKING DEGREES THAT I FINISHED WITH HONORS and I did that while working part of the time. If ( Read more... ) -
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While baking bread my hennstone cracked in the oven. THis is only the 2nd time I have used it and I followed the directions to the T every time. THis makes me sad. -
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There are days that I can be too disgusted to even write. Today was one of those days.