All moved in to the new place. It's okay. Definitely a downgrade from the last place, until you throw in that I don't have a roommate here to screw me over on bills and everything else. I'm so tired. I stay busy until three or four in the morning, then I get up by 9am and start over again, the entire freaking day.. I know I'm pushing myself too ( Read more... )

Last night, I started on the first leg of helping her fix her car (which broke down, over the weekend). Not only did everything go fairly successfully, but, after it was all said and done, and I was on my way home, I had this absolutely overwhelming feeling of positivity. Like a curse lifting off of us me and breaking. I almost texted her as much ( Read more... )

I decided to just not say anything at all unless she asks me directly. If she's ever ready, she'll let me know. I know this. And in the meantime, I have a really good friend that I care very deeply for. That's enough.

I know that I've said this before, but this post beckons a repeat for emphasis.. I sincerely try not to censor myself here. I may not use real names, but those that know me in rl can usually figure out who's who fairly easily. This is my place to speak my mind and to put my thoughts before me so that I can see them, myself, above all other reasons ( Read more... )

So.. About 24 hours ago, I decided to go ahead and have "the conversation" with [unnamed], or at least a mild version of it. Like I said, I've figured out how it is I feel (both good and bad), not only about her, but several other things, but I'm still kinda unsure just what I want to do or how I'd like to proceed.. So I asked, she answered ( Read more... )

I have been trying to sort my head out about a few things going on in my life lately, not to mention several different people.. How I felt about them, what I wanted, what I didn't want, etc etc.. Unfortunately, between the surrounding chaos and everything else going on in my life more demanding of my urgent attention, it's taken me a good bit to be ( Read more... )

The more and more I think about it, the more and more my mind questions why, exactly, is it so wrong of an idea anyway? Was it ever even a wrong idea in the first place? So I generally just try to not think about it. I really do. Then, I get days like today. Did today suck? No, no it did not. That's the point. It's not about attraction. It's not ( Read more... )

Still looking for an apt. I'm looking for a 1bedroom. KC girl (last we talked, anyway), still insists that she's coming with me, and all that, but, well, I've been down these sorts of roads my whole life. I know pretty much every pothole, turn, and bridge-out along the way. There's no point in me looking for a 2br apt at this point.. I found a ( Read more... )

Thanks for what you said to me tonight. It meant the absolute world to me. You know who you are..

found out today that roommate decided that he isn't willing to move out, and will, in fact, fight tooth-and-nail to stay living here, something I'm just not willing to do.. I'm too old for grudges and vengeance. So once again, I'm moving. I'm broke and I'm lonely and I've got no home. Pretty much right down the line either because of him, or ( Read more... )