I want to sleep.

I need to sleep.

I can not sleep.

Too much on my mind. 

So every once in a while I have a strange urge to clean my room (like beyond what I normally do) and organize shit and what not . It is really funny cause it always ends up with me organizing my closet and making a big huge mess. Then most of the time the stuff I do not know what to do with yet gets shoved back in my closet for another attempt on ( Read more... )

 :-\

Yesterday was a pretty good day. In photo I got a 100% on the first project I turned in. The class average was 80%. My teacher liked the image that I was freaking out over haha! She asked me later if I was even learning anything in the class. English was lame as always, and I had a test in psychology. I got out of school over an hour early. It was ( Read more... )

I feel like a fucking broken record on this thing.

Always feeling the same damn way all the time.

Nothing ever fucking changing,

except for how much the feelings are growing and growing.

Never wanting to get out of bed because its just a waste.

Everything is going to be exactly the same.

What is the point really?

My thoughts just drive me crazy and ( Read more... )

I miss all of my old friends. None of them ever hang out or really talk anymore. I think it is so sad how people can go from like best friends to nothing in about a day. Its even sad that there is not any conversation with them either and when there is, its rare. I mean in some cases it seems just like old times, but not many. I miss the great ( Read more... )

These past few days have been pretty cool. Getting to hang out with old friends and shit. The other night Nick and I went to see his teacher play in a jazz band downtown. That was pretty cool. Yesterday after school I went over to Travis's and we hung out for a few hours untill Tabbi called and invited me over cause Big Metal Travis was going to be ( Read more... )

It is really weird to me that almost every ex I have had has apoloziged for things they have done and wish they had not fucked up (even long after it has been over). Like I have been messaging Mike recently and he just sent me a message saying why he was attracted to me and that looking at my photos has brought back memories and that he was really ( Read more... )

So I have not updated in a while, so I thought I would do so. I have not bee up to much lately. Just going to school and working. I have been hanging out with friends a bit more though.

School has been alright. I am kind of getting the feeling that I am losing my drive again. My photo class is pretty cool, but right now we are just optimizing ( Read more... )

I am too pessimistic.

I never think things are going to turn out well.

Sometimes I pick things apart,

focus on the bad parts,

and make it so I do not like them.

Maybe so I will not get so attached,

or so I will not get my hopes up.

Probably for fear of getting hurt.

Maybe sometimes thats why I am not happy.

I do not give myself a chance to be.

Then again,

I ( Read more... )