No wonder why I don't give a fucking shit about my damn life.

So I do not really remember all I did those few days I have not posted, but I do know that Sam R. and I went and saw the opening of Harry Potter, then went to bed for a few hours, went to hang out with Travis and we saw Harry Potter. I hung out with Travis a bit the week. Last night I left my keys in my car, so I had to call me dad to bring me keys ( Read more... )

I just don't know what it is.

I just all of a sudden get into not the best of moods and stay there.

The feeling like crying, but not.

No real emotions towards things.

The wanting of a change.

So I have not updated in a while. A bit has happened. A few days ago I went to the beach with JP, her brother Brian, and his girlfriend Danelle (i think I spelt that wrong). There were two other people (Scott and Katie), but when we got there, they left. On the way there, we got rearended by a 17 year old with only a permit, in his sister's car, ( Read more... )

is one thing I regret.

I should have found a way to stay there.

Or possibly just anywhere.

Why can't I just be happy for more than a few days?

Things always have to be fucked up.

I hate the things I do.

...was awesome! I don't have a lot of time to write about it, so maybe I will get more in depth when I get back from Nebraska. Basically there was a lot of dancing and laughing. There were worm balloons that were made into penis balloons. That was so funny. I got the dj to play Rob Zombie's Brick House and he cut it off when he heard the chick ( Read more... )

So I have a boyfriend now.

I did not really want one for a while,

and I was still kind of thinking about whether I wanted one right now.

I decided though that I did.

I mean sure there is a big mess to clean up ,

but yeah.

So Travis and I are going out now as of really fucking early this morning.

He makes me happy.

I like being around him.

Seriously.

Is all this shit I go through even worth it?

I mean we all work so hard to get somewhere,

only to lose it all when we die anyways.

And sometimes we do not even get what we worked so hard for.

I hate it when this happens.

I can not win in this situation.

I do not want to ruin anything,

but I do also want to be happy,

but if I become happy,

shit gets ruined,

then if shit gets ruined,

my happiness gets ruined even despite the fact I got what would make me happy.

( Read more... )