SorrySorry for the deception ( Read more... )

I haven't ended it yet, and I think that it might actually start getting better. Hopefully. I still feel down, and I still want to kill myself, but I guess that I can cope for a little while longer. Whatever. I guess things will level out for a second, and maybe we can start fresh, again. Oh well, that's just the way it goes. I'm thinking ( Read more... )

Well, She's gone... Can I freak out yet???? Can I, please? Everyone else got their chance. I think it's my turn. So, can I? I don't want to live like this, always afraid of rejection, always being the one in the middle of everyone else's shit, but I always end up there. Why is that? Does anybody know? I try my hardest to prevent it, and, ( Read more... )

I got really drunk last night with Cristy, Matt and Ish, and it was alright, but it didn't help anything, I stiil want to kill myself. I'm sorry for waking Rachel up last night, but we were drinking and drunk people tend to get loud. Anyway, Cristy and I had a nice talk last night after we started to sober up, and I am really going to miss her. ( Read more... )

What's left? Is there really anything left to live for? Things are really falling apart, and I don't know what to do. I feel like I want to die. There's nothing left for me in this world. I think this is really going to be the last one... It's going to be the end of me. Someone kill me, please. I don't want to die with my own death on my ( Read more... )

What a fucking day... The bullshit is getting out of hand. I can't tolerate Rachel's idiocy any more. She's throwing her life away, and I can't stand idly by. I've tried to get through to her, but she just doesn't get it. I know that she's in a jam, but all of us are right now. Why does it have to be this way? Why do people have to be idiots ( Read more... )

Gee... What to write about today... Today was an okay day, for a day off. I'm really glad that I had the day off, but today kinda sucked. It's been a really boring day. Not a goddamn thign happened today. I mean, Cristy and I talked with Rachel, but it really feels like nothing was accomplished. I still feel that she doesn't understand where ( Read more... )

Today is another day. I get to work graveyard tonight and tomorrow, then 2 days off, then 3 afternoon shifts. Fun... Anyway, Rachel has been alienating Cristy and myself more and more often, especially in the last week. Why does she have to drag us into the middle of her drama? I really don't even want to be in the middle, but that's where I ( Read more... )

Another day, another heartache. I hate my job, I am allergic to something in the mix at work, and it gave me a rash. So I called in sick today. I'm going with Cristy to another job interview, and I really hope she gets this job. I want nothing but the best for her, and I wish her the best in everything. Even if we'll be nothing more than ( Read more... )