( Read more... )

I will not once again ( Read more... )

I'm starting to notice that the exercise and diet I've been doing over the last week is starting to work. my chest and belly are starting to look flatter. Ever since I got sick, I got back down to 175 and I only have 10 lbs. to go to look fabulous!

k, so my head's spinning the other way now and much more slowly.... mostly because i had a very chill day. But now I feel super lonely. I wanna cuddle with someone nice. It's not a fun space to be in, but a good one. I need to get inside this head of mine and throw out the garbage.... I need to stop distracting myself with boys, no matter how ( Read more... )

My head is spinning so fast.... I can't stop it.... too many thoughts running through my head..... I always thought meeting boys like i have been would be fun, but my heart's too weak to handle it.... I'm sorry to anyone who's feelings I've hurt.... I just don't know what I'm doing.....

I wish
I could keep my heart
put away
deep inside
the oriface of a cave
away from
the threat of
romance, lust
and fantasy

I wish
I could keep
this piece of myself
deep inside
where noone could see
and insist to be
a part of me

But these things
they make of me
a man
who loves
and hopes
and counts the stars
in the sky

would it be annoying if i wrote in my paper jounal, scanned the pages, and posted the images here?

i'm so frustrated with boys right now. why are they so dumb? i don't understand why they play these little games with me. i almost feel like they want me to be very aggressive to prove that i'm interested, but i'm not like that. i'm not rude. And it seems that some boys think they need to be rude in order for me to understand that they're ( Read more... )

Now that I have given up
the passive, fashionable terrorism
that I so curiously sought
to save my soul that became lost
in the neverending oblivion

the same one that has
powerfully returned to me
the same one that raped me
has come to rape me again

so easily overwhelmed by
this universe
desperately trying
to make it mine
i'm lost without the
anchor of affection
without the influence
of a lover's [smile]

now i'm inundated
by the flow of my
introverted mind
into my heart
does this river flow
to mend my [scars]?
does this river mean
to flush away the [pain]?