so its been a cold week...both emotionally and atmospherically... me and katy are still together in a weird sort of way....we fight almost nonstop...im working more than i can handle...about 32-38 hours a week...last night i worked for 12...im just so tired...and then my patience level and tolerance level have declined dramatically...my brother and ( Read more... )

what does it take to want to belong here? what is it that keeps us here living each day in and out as if something matters or nothing matters.....theres so few days that are actually worth living and so few that we dont consider important....so few...ive been dreaming about playing in a band again....4 nights in a row....i dont have time...or ( Read more... )

what a day...well yesterday was katys birthday...i spent entirely to much money...to the point that im hoping i have enough money for gas for the next couple days...(i dont...im completely broke...i hope theres enough in the tank) today i woke up late....didnt go to school because theres no point in going in to learn the stuff i can learn on my own ( Read more... )

hmm...so yesterday was interesting.....a not good type of interesting....katy called me last night and we talked...she talking to other guys no because shes "pushing me away" and had some attraction to them....i knew it would happen....anyways..i didnt get to finish yesterdays entry...i went to school and saw the teachers and jessie...(mistake?) ( Read more... )

saw jessie today...i went in to lake..had to get a work permit...saw the teachers said hi...walked in to see bart..jessie was there and shot an amazing smile....i just dont want to mess up everything she has going for her....katy and i continue to disagree and fight all the time...no fun at all...i have a feeling that we will break up soon...i ( Read more... )

the stupid space bar on this thing isnt working...soimjustnot going to betrying to use itallthatmuch...soifitdoesntwork thenjust kinda bare (spelling?) with it....lifegoeson....meandkatyjust do not getalong...sheasksforsomuch that i donthaveto offer...love and affectionandmoney and "gentle words" and patience and..its just....::growl:: i dont ( Read more... )

so much is not good right now....havnt talked to jess at all...beginning to take a hint...havnt decided if i want to call her or not...i might.. i dunno yet...katy...is going to get kicked out of her house because she skipped school...my dad and step mother kris... fucking assholes... thats all there is to say...they seem to put there nose ...when ( Read more... )

its one thing to kiss someone...ive kissed a couple girls...so what...u know you kiss and its supposed to mean something...supposed to reach down inside your soul and pull out the very thing that makes your heart beat, the kiss that will make absolutly everything disappear...grab your heart and cradle it as it rips it out holding it high above you ( Read more... )

what is it that makes life so enjoyable or not? i mean when you stop to think about what you have when all is done and over...friends? family? love? education?...i mean i plan to graduate here in june or so....and i look back at the last 4 years...and see some good times....but realize that i have nothing to take with me away from all of this... ( Read more... )