app copypasta;
Character: Hijikata Toshirou
Series: Gintama
Character Age: Above 21, below 30. Let’s say 26.
Job: Camp Police
Canon:
Let's take a step back to the ancient Edo period of Japan, but with aliens invading. Yes, the Amanto have taken over Japan, giving Gintama a ridiculous anachronistic backdrop for fourth-wall breaking antics. The series mainly focuses on the Odd Jobs trio that run around doing random stuff because they really need money, but we've already had enough apps from those idiots. So from here on out, it's all about the mothalovin' Shinsengumi - Edo's police unit that spends most of its time chasing down Nationalist assholes and criminals, occasionally failing in a comedic way, and looking pretty fly in their uniforms.
Always with a cigarette either in his hand or mouth, Hijikata is the "demonic" vice-commander of the Shinsengumi, and poster boy for how to have a heart attack before you’re thirty. He's the brains behind the operations, meaning he's the Straight Man of the group; serious and proud, Hijikata doesn't take any crap and keeps the other members of the force in line. As a workaholic, he tends to really grab the reigns of any task; his respect for Isao Kondo, the Shinsengumi commander and founder, only increases the amount of work he willingly does, as he cleans up Kondo's messes and tries to keep him from losing face. However, this fierce swordsman actually has an incredibly blatant weakness - referred to as "mayora," he covers everything he eats in disgustingly huge amounts of mayonnaise, and his obsession is so intense and bizarre he actually dreams of going to Mayonnaise Kingdom. That said, Hijikata is one of the most reliable characters, who always follows up and is a little more tactful than even his superior.
Important note of fourth-wall importance: Hijikata's seiyuu is Nakai Kazuya, famous for being the voice of rowdy swordsmen and saying ridiculous Engrish such as "PUT YA GUNS ON!" in other series.
Sample Post:
Alright, so let’s get down to business. You’ve been enlisted into the Camp Fuck U Die branch of the Shinsengumi, hand-picked by the Director herself. Or, collected and put together by hand, from the looks of you all. Let's lay down some rules before we start: Rule #1 - you respect myself and Isao Kondo as your superiors! That means no biting or touching us in any sort of way, especially if it ends up below the belt. My sword's down there, you know - I meant the sharp one! You've already failed, Number 12! Get the hell out of my sight.
Anyways! Rule #2 - No reading that Shounen JUMP garbage! That's best left to adults who can't grow up and spend their days living through fiction! Gintama is running in it, after all. #3 - Cowardice is not tolerated! If you are shamed, you are a samurai - you perform seppuku properly, and think of the pride of the Shinsengumi. If you don't, I'll do it for you. These are the basics - I expect you all to read, thoroughly understand, and memorize the other fifty rules I have copied into your workbooks. You will be tested at any moment! You will follow these rules as your lifeline, because trust me, they are. Fail, and you are worthless as a Shinsengumi member and will be expected to make up for your mistakes! Or I will personally issue you punishment. You don't want to let me down.
Furthermore, those who show the most improvement and put the most effort into today's training will be rewarded! As your vice-commander, I demand respect, but I respect you as well. Those who impress me today will be given a Hijikata Special! Trust me, they're absolutely delicious. Work hard for one of these - they're worth it, even if you are missing bits of intestine and tongue. Yes, Number 10? You want to try some already? … oi, that’s a rude waste of food. But fine, if you don’t want it, I’ll have it. There are starving children all over the Mayonnaise Kingdom, you know, and here you are refusing to eat it. They work twenty hour days just for a little bit of that sweet, smooth, creamy cholesterol, each drop filled with their blood, tears and sweat, and you're just handing it back like it's garbage. But you see, I wouldn't have held you being a terrible person against you, provided you didn't just imply ketchup was better. Mayonnaise could turn even that rotting head of yours into something delicious! Commit seppuku!
Now, back to business. You're all probably excited to start clashing swords, but before that training is more training! Find a partner, ideally one that you won't accidentally dismember or behead, and we can begin after I grab another pack of cigarettes. This is going to be a long, long day. Hmm? Oh, you want me to give you a pep talk? I don't see the need, especially after insulting my gift like that. Is the Shinsengumi cheer not good enough for you? Well, let me read it then. Ahem. "ARE YOU READY GUYS?! PUT YA-" OI, I CAN'T HELP WHO MY SEIYUU IS, YOU ASSHOLES! AND GET THE ROBOT COW OUT OF HERE, I'M NOT RIDING IT!
... hnn, fine, you can't have a Gintama app without breaking the fourth wall at multiple points. Not with those Odd Jobs idiots giving us a bad name, filling their samples with meta and references. You can have a Gintama app without all that stuff, since I just did it. But fine. You're reading this sentence at least, aren't you? Hurry up and vote! I don't care if you have voter fatigue or whatever excuse you have for not bothering to read past the canon section and the first paragraph. Do you need the mods to nag you? Shit, I hate this place already. There better be cigarette trees.
Voting went here (89.1%).