I just finished one of my numerous Christmas gifts, "Dry," Augusten Burrough's memoir about his fight with addiction, which has left me a bit depressed. Joni Mitchell's "River" on repeat is not helping. Why do movies like Requiem for a Dream and Trainspotting seem to make me want to indulge in a life of wanton destruction? It all seems so glamorous ( Read more... )

I'm going to post this now and then move on. That's it. That's all there is to it. Every ounce of me is railing against even the thought of it, because, I think, forgetting you is impossible. Ever ceasing to love you is laughable. But the sad truth is that you left a long time ago, and I became the silly girl with stupid vestiges of happiness. I ( Read more... )

I drink good coffee every morning ( Read more... )

Tom, I write these damn fuckin' things five million times over ( Read more... )

Everyone has been encouraging me, as of late, to write more in depth, more elaborately about my life like I used to, before this all turned into a grotesque and self-loathing stream of apathy ( Read more... )

Why do I do these things?

I'm incapable of being anything resembling what I want to be.

Was just looking through BlackBoard today and noticed that my course selection over the last few semesters paints a pretty telling picture of myself ( Read more... )

Funny how fast I switched from interest in film to interest in plants. I've become such a nerd. I was on a shoot this afternoon out north of Chapparal on Native lands, between fields of broccoli and cotton, and all I could think of while I ought to have been producing was their ingenious irrigation system or the smectites that must have been ( Read more... )

Watching Eyes Wide Shut and thinking about Closer and I remember what I thought after you left - that sex is a weapon. That we attribute to it this sort of specialness, this value that is all conjecture. Sex is no more a weapon than words are, or knowledge. And sometimes I feel that the things that I've done will mean you can never love me again. ( Read more... )

My name is Delen ( Read more... )