i'm so sick of being sick. i got gussied up and took pictures. but i look sick in the pictures. so it was sort of a bust. i do have some pretty serious collarbones going on though... which is always nice.

if i could fold my arms like paper ( Read more... )

exercise is fun, though i daresay that losing weight must be more fun. i wouldn't know. :( i'm building muscle for sure... i've been on this regimine for what... 2,3 weeks? and i have abs already. and i think my thighs might be a little smaller, but they're still flabby as hell and i fucking hate it. someone tell me that muscles eventually make you ( Read more... )

hate my fat lazy useless self. fucking overdrew my bank account. again. and i feel like no matter what i do.. no matter how many corners i cut i just can't get the fuck ahead. and then the bitch at the bank calls... and you know what she wants so you don't answer "hi rachael this is so and so and we need to talk as soon as possible". yeah. you want ( Read more... )

ate today because i'm a fucking cow. drank last night because i have no willpower. went running again tonight, but didn't stretch first so only lasted 30 minutes. almost passed out, so maybe i didn't eat as much as i thought i did. or purged more than i had estimated ( Read more... )

i just filled out one of those "calories burned during daily activities" jauns, and according to that... i burn almost 3500 calories per day! is that even possible? (note: over 1000 of that comes from walking/running playing with kids) i doubt it... as i'm not generally losing a pound a day. or... well i guess i am, now that i'm keeping track of ( Read more... )

ate a whole lot today... it was stressful (both the eating and the reasons for eating).
(ie: english muffin w/ jelly; 4 packs of apple slices <30 cals each> ;about 10 milky-way bites; cucumbers AND french fries for lunch; a plum and 1/2 banana for dinner took the dogs for a 45 minute run ( Read more... )

i have become lazy and fat. very fat. i got the flu a few weeks ago, lost fifteen lbs, and got down to 120. so i was very, very fat. and on my way back. why is it so much more difficult now? i hate this. i really might just kill myself. and since no one reads this, i have no reason to be dramatic for attention. i'm losing my will to live.

sorry all. no internet connection to speak of. i've developed a nice little coke habit though....
happy christmas and new year.
hope everyone is well.

visiting a friend in florida. i feel insane taking this much time off from work. i feel fat. i can't seem to get below 112 anymore. 5'8+112= bmi of 17.0
GASP and SIGH.
hope everyone is well.