I am so tired. I am tired all of the time now but I think maybe this is a different tired. I am tired of tears the hot leaky ones that just seem to want to squeeze out of everywhere and threaten to saturate my voice. I am tired of not writing of holding it and holding it like some massive need to pee being squeezed back into submission by sheer ( Read more... )

I went to Hastings and sat in the childrens aisle on the floor. I looked through all the books for the one you read to me that day when I tied my self to you. I wish I had known that day that you were the one ( Read more... )

I should be working on my government final, but my mind is just exploding with built up words. They just stuff themselves behind my eyeballs and forehead pushing on my skin, chomping on my nerves. I can’t concentrate one more second, until I get things down. I’m 18, just turned it. I feel…young, inexperienced. I feel alone too, so many of my ( Read more... )

Windy days are here. The car nearly slid from the road this morning and many trees were lying down in the woods grown so many years just to be toppled by an overly playful breeze. We drove with the windows down to listen to the screams of the sky and to smell the crushed pine promising to be remembered at Christmas. It is a Monday, one of those ( Read more... )

I never got dressed today. I slept and slept and when I woke I submerged myself in another life and place and time and land. I didnt go to church, or think all that much. I spent a time in anothers body loaded digitaly into a little metal and glass box. And then I passed back slowly into reality into my PJ's in time to fill my veins with blood and ( Read more... )

Things change so fast a day is like a second, a week a minute. My life is traveling along nicely. Soon I will turn 18 and be shoved unceremoniously into mainstream humanity. I have learned so much so fast it seems. I learned to breathe within seconds of being born and shortly after I learned to scream. Other things came not so easily. How to stop ( Read more... )

Big red blobs of magma float up and down across my vision. They morph and blur alternately staring at me with big round eyes and twisting up into a slithering snake or swimming around as a fish. For hours you could sit and just stare at the glowing column of light ( Read more... )

Japonica, a red Japan flower, brings my mind to the garden. Walls covered in crawling green ivy and the rusty red of the sandstone. There is a door in the garden. Some days the door will creak and moan at me but let me swiftly in, but most days I will circle the towering walls for hours and never catch a glimpse of wood or handle ( Read more... )

She told me a story: A six year girl, soft blonde hair and blue eyes, pale white breakable skin, the story fills my vision as we drive, and I am the girl ( Read more... )

I am master of the Hookie. Any illness or disease is in the power of my imagination, and all I am doing is wasting my life away in apathy ( Read more... )