They don't see me because I died.
How could they, I am barely here. I decided to stick arround for a couple days because my grandma is going to die and I don't think my mom can handle all that at once. But I am still dead, there is no breath just ragged acceptence. It is a fate like other fates and must be taken lightly. I no longer exist.

No matter how much I scream and cry, and plead and beat my heart to the sound of my thrashing blood, he is never coming back, never going to hold me, never going to love me again. I can’t breathe. I don’t want to breathe. I don’t want to live or see or smell or hear. I reached a place of calmness where I simply sat in my car and prayed over and ( Read more... )

Staring ( Read more... )

Today is not so good a day, I got shot today… in the stomach. It’s not unusual though. I get shot every month, and it takes at least a week for my abdomen to heal. I never see the dickhead shooter guy but I always wake up once a month shot or stabbed in the stomach and bleeding everywhere. The bloods not so bad really it’s the tearing and ripping ( Read more... )

Carly ( Read more... )

"What do you want ( Read more... )

The calm
cool face of the river
asked me for a kiss

Langston Hughes

If I ever plan to leave this world early, I will use this poem as my note.

I bled today, great flowing black blood that covered my hands and stained my paper. The tweezers got slippery as they were slowly coated in life. I pulled and pulled until all traces of the little wart were gone and I washed my hands and arms and face in blood, and then water when I was done playing. So that the only evidence remaining is a gaping ( Read more... )

I finally sit by myself in the lunch room. Across the way at another single table like mine, a gangly out of place boy sits, hands shaking as he eats a wilted banana. He rushes through and escapes the crowded inferno of the cafeteria as fast as he can. We are all alike in some ways

I had a bad dream, I dreamed of a woman, a beautiful woman and her daughter and little son. The woman fell in love with this man, he was a sea captain maybe. I was at different times in the story the woman and the daughter and the son but I was never the man. When I was the woman I loved the man so intensely that the sun hid his eyes at my ( Read more... )