ok so i went to the doctors and got some ear drops and antibiatics but they werent really worried about that they were more worried about other things and now i am all scared and nervouse and everyone left me so i have no one to talk to to keep my mind off of it. i had to get my blood taken she stuck me two times with the needle cause i have deep ( Read more... )

man today sucked i have felt like a peice of shit all day i want to kill my self i hate my family they can all eat a fat one and go to hell they suck big ass i kinda feel like if i cant have them then what is the reason for living u know i need my family i have cindy and mom thats it oh and josh sometimes but thats it and i love them so much for it ( Read more... )

today was kinda weird for me one min i was happy then the next i was sad then i kinda purked up i was feelin bad cause i went to cindys and was being a drag not sayin anything mom was bugin me to know what was up so i just told her i was tired of hearing my own voice when i talk cause my ear infection but yea i told her that cause i didnt want to ( Read more... )

well yesturday after i got to cindys and started to hang out with her and her mom and josh i was feelin a lot better and not so sad. but we went up to mijers and had a blast it was fun. this sunday im goin to a show up at capital i cant wait i really need to get out and do something man i hate always sitting at home and doin nothin so i cant wait ( Read more... )

why do i feel empty sometimes? i dont know but it sucks balls i want to be happy its hard to put a smile on my face u know like i have my best friend cindy my good friend josh and mom who is the bestest but where the hell is my family u know i need them to in my life and no matter how hard i try i cant comunicate with them... so no i feel like ( Read more... )

so today i got some me time for once thank god everyone is always home and they are finally all gone yay... but im kinda depressed im just thinkin about a lot of shit thats goin on like i want to tell my mom that u know we can still do the counceling that the insurance we are getting will take care of it u know but its like everytime i talk to her ( Read more... )

so yea me and cind got high it was fun we had a lot of good laughs lol then we watched some of final destination with marcia and bill then i had to be home by 12 so then i came home and im about to go get in the shower gosh i cant wait this entry was kind of pointless i dont know why i wrote it. but yea i am gonna go now

tonight should be fun me and cindy are going to go up to adams and smoke a little but i think we should go up to cc cause its safer that way so im gonna talk to her about that. but we just want to do that one more time befor school starts then cindy will probably go back to not smokin and then i will start slowin down again and doin it like every ( Read more... )

so i think my mom told my dad cause now he is tryin to act like super dad but hey i just hope he doesnt say anything i dont want to talk about anything right now cindy and josh wanted me to come over but i am trying to think things through and i dont want to just go there and be sad what is the point of that u know so i just decided to stay home i ( Read more... )

so hmmm i wrote a note to my mom and dad telling them that i want to get help for the problem i have and when i came home from cindys only my mom was home so i gave her the letter and let her read it then she started saying that she doesnt have the money right now to get it which i can understand cause right now both of my parents are jobless u ( Read more... )