Downhill

[pyromaniacal]

Maybe it's caffeine withdrawl, or maybe I really am slipping into madness. I've just felt more and more like complete shit lately. I've been burned out, lagging behind at work, and battling my way through wicked bouts of depression. It's been a ragged ride down, and I dunno if it'll ever go away, or if I've settled in here. The craving for caffeine

Comments

[insidersav]

Sorry to hear you're feelin down n' out

[killer_bunnyz]

Hey Chris, you know when you're feeling like this you can always call me man. I know the feeling. I've lately felt deprived of human contact myself... all this getting ready to move bull and all the drama.... I've become a bitch hermit. So talk to me. What's up?

[pyromaniacal]

Thanks, Jen, that means a lot. I've tried to drill into my own head the manta I live by: "nobody gives a shit", but it's nice when it's not always true.

Most of it was the severe downswing when I quit caffeine... I knew it'd be bad, but not that bad. I'm out of that now, but feel extremely lethargic still. The rest of it is just feeling like I've wasted so much of my life that I can never go back to live again "right", and that I feel like I'm still doing it. Is it lack of motivation? Fear? Or some other mental hangups?

I've already let the best years of my life pass me by while I stood there in helpless bystander mode. You think it'd have taught me to get off my ass and move it before it's all gone someday! But yeah.