V I D E O ][ SEEKING A JOB

[pyromatique]

[ John turns the video feed on and smirks into the camera. ] Okay, children. It's time I made my introductions. Properly

Comments

[coyote_walking]

Now that's a cheerful way to introduce yourself.

[pyromatique]

Only way I know how.

You know, the polite thing to do would be to introduce yourself.

[coyote_walking]

Mercedes Thompson. Back home I'm a mechanic. Here I run a friend's magic store.

[pyromatique]

A mechanic? That's pretty fucking impressive.

Is your friend's magic store like one of those joke stores with the prank candies, gag gifts and all that?

[commarogue]

Not the only one nobody's wise to mess with around here. You're probably not a big fan of the hose, huh?

[pyromatique]

No. So why wouldn't anybody mess with you?

a;sldkjrasd what how where are my notifs

[commarogue]

I give a mean stare. I know, it's not fire out of the air, but I do what I can.

yeah, you, me and my grandma. we're all being screwed by lj! ;;

[pyromatique]

Bet it's equally as hot.

[repeatshimself]

Oh, jeez.

[pyromatique]

What, Billy?

[repeatshimself]

Is this really the best way to go about influencing people?

[pyromatique]

Fuck influencing people. This isn't the place for that.

[stapletrauma]

Is it really a good idea to talk about burning the flesh off someone's bones with a smile on your face before asking about a job... ?

[pyromatique]

Least they'll know I'll keep their establishment safe?

[stapletrauma]

Ah... I guess you could spin it that way.

[pyromatique]

I could spin it a number of ways. You got a job?

[favoritetraitor]

You might want to rethink your strategy for seeking employment, Mr. Allerdyce. Although I suppose it's a little bit late for that this time.

Do you mind my asking just what skill-sets you're offering?

[pyromatique]

Fuck that.

I guess I'm not bad at computers. I can do paperwork. I can fight, maim, kill, devise strategies. I can blow shit up. I can cook. I can probably do torture. I can fix stuff. I can fly a heli. I can mix drinks. Whatever.

[favoritetraitor]

I see.

[Private]
You are aware that this City does have a police force? Advertising your leniencies towards questionable activities is bound to bring you to their attention, if it hasn't already. Or is that not a concern? Because it should be.

[pyromatique]

[Private]

Yup. Not a concern. I doubt they'll have a chance to cuff me before I turn them into toast. Also, cops need proof to make an arrest, and I've got every confidence in my ability to slip under the radar if that's what's required.

You got a job to offer me?