RENEWAL (3/3)
Title: Renewal (3/3)
Author: qrn
Pairing: *you already know*
Rating: PG
Summary: All he wanted was to see a forgiving smile on the other’s face. Everything was perfect, until...
Author's Notes: Finally the last chapter... kicked myself last night for killing KiWoon & making all characters depressed. If you couldn't tell, I kinda drew inspiration from Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind & 50 First Dates (minus the romantic comedy). Thanks to all who read this; I hope this chapter is to your liking! This was also posted on beastattack. Comments & feedbacks are welcome ^^
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
He looked down on the ground.
Yoseob.
The name was not strange to him. He repeated it to himself everyday as a constant reminder that they had memories together. However, it was to no avail. He knew that no matter how much he thought of the name, the other would forget about him when he woke up every morning. Everytime he saw Yoseob, the younger boy would not recognize his face and the two would always share awkwardness of two strangers who just met for the first time. Just like yesterday, when he spotted Yoseob in the subway. He could tell that the kid thought he was a stalker of some sort. It was very different to last week when they met in a small coffee shop, where they spent the day eating, drinking and talking like best friends. The days before that, they met in an amusement park but Yoseob did not approach him and asked for his name. The previous day, they met in a mall and went shopping. In fact, he had lost count of how many times he had to introduce himself to the boy over the past six months.
After the accident a year ago, he had moved away from the house he shared with his friends. He blamed himself for everything that happened. He regretted the fact that his last two memories with the younger boy was quite unpleasant. Why must he be stubborn and ignore Yoseob the whole two weeks of the trip?
He kicked the rock on the sand, shuffling his position to talk more comfortably. "So, tell me about you."
Yoseob smiled. "I live there." He pointed to a small house painted in white and had a light blue roof. "See that house?"
He nodded.
My old house.
"I live with my friend--"
Junhyung.
"--Junhyung. He's a cool guy, but today he seemed very quiet and sulky."
He would be. He stared on the ground. It's been a year and Hyunseung is still in a coma.
---
"I came back from New York yesterday," he grinned at Doojoon, who gave a thin smile in response. "Junhyung said he picked me up and we had a welcome party. I could still see the cake and balloons in the house."
Doojoon nodded, but his face seemed downcast.
Is he hurt?
Doojoon sighed. "You free today?"
"Yeah," his head perked up. "Why? You wanna hang out?"
Doojoon shrugged. "I have nothing to do for the day anyway."
He grinned. Normally it would be really weird for two strangers to meet in a park, became instant best friends, and decided to hang out together for the rest of the day. But this guy was different. He felt a familiar and friendly aura when they sat close to each other.
"So where do you want to go?" The older guy stood up.
"How about breakfast? There's a really delicious tteokbokki place I know."
---
"You can't!"
Junhyung grabbed ahold of Doojoon's arm.
It was a really dark, cloudy day for Kikwang and Dongwoon's funerals. The mourning families insisted to stay in front of the gravestones, refusing to leave although the funeral processions had ended over an hour ago. Junhyung and Doojoon were standing under the tree, making sure they were nowhere in other people's earshot.
"What are you talking about?!"
Doojoon looked away. "I can't stay with you guys anymore. I'll keep blaming myself everytime I see his face."
Junhyung shook his head. "The doctor said we can help him remember! Amnesia is not incurable!" He punched the tree in frustration. "Look, hyung, do you think you're the only one who felt guilty about this whole thing? Hyunseung is in a freakin' COMA, and there's NOTHING I can do about it!"
The older boy massaged his temples. "No, you're different. It was ME who drove the car, Junhyung. You didn't do anything wrong, but I killed two people!" Anxiously, he took a glance at the two families in the distance. "They won't forgive me for killing their sons!" His hands were shaking. "If only I drove more carefully--"
Junhyung grabbed his collar angrily. "Nothing was your fault! It wasn't your fault that the truck driver was fucking drunk!"
Doojoon pushed him away. "But I could've avoided the crash if I had paid more attention on the road! I could've--"
That was it. Junhyung did not say anything as he landed a blow on the older boy's face. Doojoon looked back at him, speechless. He let himself fall on the ground, his hands hanging limp by his side.
Junhyung's face was filled with a mix of shock and guilt. "I..." He could not believe he just did that. "It wasn't..." He was at a loss for words.
On the ground, Doojoon stared lifelessly at the dark clouds that were forming in the sky. He held back his tears. "I could've..."
Not long after that, it rained.
---
When he got back home that night, he was exhausted--both physically and mentally. He ended up spending the entire day with Yoseob walking in the city, eating and shopping. They talked about everything, and because of the amnesia Yoseob was only able to remember little details about himself, such as the fact that he loved dancing and his parents owned a restaurant.
But nothing was new. He had heard it all before. Most times after they introduced themselves to each other, Yoseob would always start the conversation by talking about his life.
And right now he had a matter to settle.
He knocked on the door.
A stern-looking guy opened in response, his hair messy and unkempt. His eyes widened when he saw who dared to visit at this ungodly hour. The two exchanged silent looks in the cold night.
Finally the house owner managed to find his voice, although shaky. "...Hyung."
No response.
"What--what are you doing here?"
He sighed. "Junhyung, I need to talk to you."
Junhyung's pale, astounded face slowly turned into a disapproving look. "Why? I thought you decided to forget all of us and spend the rest of your life in misery," he said coldly, still refusing to let the guest into the house.
"No, it wasn't like that."
"Hey," Junhyung retorted, crossing his arms. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with us anymore. You blamed yourself for what happened back then. Fine, we get it. But why are you back?" He shook his head in disbelief. "You disappeared for a year, so why now?"
"I..."
"Do you know how hard it was for me to try to get over everything?" This time, Junhyung's voice was full of emotions. "I miss Kikwang and Dongwoon. Hyunseung still hasn't woken up, Yoseob has his amnesia, and I have no one to depend on. How could you do that to me?"
He looked down, refusing to meet the younger male's eyes. He indeed was selfish.
"And here I thought you've erased the fact that this house even existed." The younger did not stop. "So is that why Yoseob often tells me of his encounters with you, although sometimes he fails to mention your name? Because you haven't been able to let go?"
Without a word, he took out a bag and handed it over to Junhyung, who frowned.
"What is it?" Receiving no response, he opened it and was astonished to discover what it was. A Pikachu doll.
"You gave me that when we first moved in together, remember?"
Junhyung was speechless. "You... you had it with you all this time?"
He nodded. "It was hypocritical of me for saying I wanted to forget you all. If I really wanted to, I wouldn't have brought that with me." He watched as Junhyung took a picture out of the bag. "...And that photo as well."
Still speechless, Junhyung stared at the picture. The six of them, smiling. Before he could stare any longer, he turned to the older male. "So is this why you came?"
He put his freezing hands in his pockets. "I've spent many memories with Yoseob, and none of them even matters because he'll forget them as soon as he wakes up in the morning." He peeked inside the house. He should be asleep now, and by tomorrow he will become the same Yang Yoseob. He bit his lip. Except that he will forget about me and whatever we did together today.
"You guys hung out together again, huh?" Junhyung asked, as if reading his mind. "He did talk about eating tteokbokki with a nice friend he met in the park." His face softened. "I guessed it must have been you."
It was too cold. He decided to leave, but not before pulling his dongsaeng into a tight hug.
Junhyung had a shocked expression on his face. "What--"
He did not care. He wished he could let him know.
But I can't.
---
The hospital was unusually quiet. People in white uniform occasionally walked back and forth through the corridors. Sometimes patients in wheelchairs would take a stroll in the garden, accompanied by the nurses.
He hated that place. It smelled like drugs and sick patients. There was nothing good in this place. Even people working in the receptionist tables had a depressing, gloomy look on their faces.
He held his friend's hand and made their way to the ICU room.
The room was white, and the silence was so unbearable that he felt the need to make some noise from his shoes as he stepped inside. His friend tilted his head when they stopped by a patient's bed, labeled with the name: JANG HYUNSEUNG.
The patient had his eyes closed, with countless number of tubes and cables surrounding him. His face was pale, and his lips were dry, as if he had not awakened in a very long time.
"What happened to him?" his friend asked, sounding very worried. "When is he going to wake up?"
He held the sleeping patient's hand firmly in his. "I don't know, Yoseob."
Yoseob pouted, his eyes seeming anxious. "He must've suffered from a terrible accident."
He tried not to cry.
"Hyung?"
Junhyung managed to find Doojoon's house after asking people in his neighborhood. He figured that since Yoseob had met him quiet often, he must have lived close to his house.
The front door was unlocked--Junhyung found this very strange. He looked around the small living room. No signs of Doojoon. He tried looking into the dining room and kitchen, but to no avail. He finally reached the bedroom.
"Hyung?" he called again, opening the door slowly.
Doojoon was sprawled on the floor, an empty bottle of sleeping pills in one hand. Junhyung rushed to his side, shouting his name. He shook the older male's body, hit the cheek, and even pumping the chest in hope to wake him up. He really had hoped Doojoon was only asleep. But it was no use. Doojoon's eyes remained closed, his face seeming peaceful. He had gone to sleep forever.
And never to wake up again.
Author: qrn
Pairing: *you already know*
Rating: PG
Summary: All he wanted was to see a forgiving smile on the other’s face. Everything was perfect, until...
Author's Notes: Finally the last chapter... kicked myself last night for killing KiWoon & making all characters depressed. If you couldn't tell, I kinda drew inspiration from Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind & 50 First Dates (minus the romantic comedy). Thanks to all who read this; I hope this chapter is to your liking! This was also posted on beastattack. Comments & feedbacks are welcome ^^
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2
He looked down on the ground.
Yoseob.
The name was not strange to him. He repeated it to himself everyday as a constant reminder that they had memories together. However, it was to no avail. He knew that no matter how much he thought of the name, the other would forget about him when he woke up every morning. Everytime he saw Yoseob, the younger boy would not recognize his face and the two would always share awkwardness of two strangers who just met for the first time. Just like yesterday, when he spotted Yoseob in the subway. He could tell that the kid thought he was a stalker of some sort. It was very different to last week when they met in a small coffee shop, where they spent the day eating, drinking and talking like best friends. The days before that, they met in an amusement park but Yoseob did not approach him and asked for his name. The previous day, they met in a mall and went shopping. In fact, he had lost count of how many times he had to introduce himself to the boy over the past six months.
After the accident a year ago, he had moved away from the house he shared with his friends. He blamed himself for everything that happened. He regretted the fact that his last two memories with the younger boy was quite unpleasant. Why must he be stubborn and ignore Yoseob the whole two weeks of the trip?
He kicked the rock on the sand, shuffling his position to talk more comfortably. "So, tell me about you."
Yoseob smiled. "I live there." He pointed to a small house painted in white and had a light blue roof. "See that house?"
He nodded.
My old house.
"I live with my friend--"
Junhyung.
"--Junhyung. He's a cool guy, but today he seemed very quiet and sulky."
He would be. He stared on the ground. It's been a year and Hyunseung is still in a coma.
---
"I came back from New York yesterday," he grinned at Doojoon, who gave a thin smile in response. "Junhyung said he picked me up and we had a welcome party. I could still see the cake and balloons in the house."
Doojoon nodded, but his face seemed downcast.
Is he hurt?
Doojoon sighed. "You free today?"
"Yeah," his head perked up. "Why? You wanna hang out?"
Doojoon shrugged. "I have nothing to do for the day anyway."
He grinned. Normally it would be really weird for two strangers to meet in a park, became instant best friends, and decided to hang out together for the rest of the day. But this guy was different. He felt a familiar and friendly aura when they sat close to each other.
"So where do you want to go?" The older guy stood up.
"How about breakfast? There's a really delicious tteokbokki place I know."
---
"You can't!"
Junhyung grabbed ahold of Doojoon's arm.
It was a really dark, cloudy day for Kikwang and Dongwoon's funerals. The mourning families insisted to stay in front of the gravestones, refusing to leave although the funeral processions had ended over an hour ago. Junhyung and Doojoon were standing under the tree, making sure they were nowhere in other people's earshot.
"What are you talking about?!"
Doojoon looked away. "I can't stay with you guys anymore. I'll keep blaming myself everytime I see his face."
Junhyung shook his head. "The doctor said we can help him remember! Amnesia is not incurable!" He punched the tree in frustration. "Look, hyung, do you think you're the only one who felt guilty about this whole thing? Hyunseung is in a freakin' COMA, and there's NOTHING I can do about it!"
The older boy massaged his temples. "No, you're different. It was ME who drove the car, Junhyung. You didn't do anything wrong, but I killed two people!" Anxiously, he took a glance at the two families in the distance. "They won't forgive me for killing their sons!" His hands were shaking. "If only I drove more carefully--"
Junhyung grabbed his collar angrily. "Nothing was your fault! It wasn't your fault that the truck driver was fucking drunk!"
Doojoon pushed him away. "But I could've avoided the crash if I had paid more attention on the road! I could've--"
That was it. Junhyung did not say anything as he landed a blow on the older boy's face. Doojoon looked back at him, speechless. He let himself fall on the ground, his hands hanging limp by his side.
Junhyung's face was filled with a mix of shock and guilt. "I..." He could not believe he just did that. "It wasn't..." He was at a loss for words.
On the ground, Doojoon stared lifelessly at the dark clouds that were forming in the sky. He held back his tears. "I could've..."
Not long after that, it rained.
---
When he got back home that night, he was exhausted--both physically and mentally. He ended up spending the entire day with Yoseob walking in the city, eating and shopping. They talked about everything, and because of the amnesia Yoseob was only able to remember little details about himself, such as the fact that he loved dancing and his parents owned a restaurant.
But nothing was new. He had heard it all before. Most times after they introduced themselves to each other, Yoseob would always start the conversation by talking about his life.
And right now he had a matter to settle.
He knocked on the door.
A stern-looking guy opened in response, his hair messy and unkempt. His eyes widened when he saw who dared to visit at this ungodly hour. The two exchanged silent looks in the cold night.
Finally the house owner managed to find his voice, although shaky. "...Hyung."
No response.
"What--what are you doing here?"
He sighed. "Junhyung, I need to talk to you."
Junhyung's pale, astounded face slowly turned into a disapproving look. "Why? I thought you decided to forget all of us and spend the rest of your life in misery," he said coldly, still refusing to let the guest into the house.
"No, it wasn't like that."
"Hey," Junhyung retorted, crossing his arms. "I thought you didn't want anything to do with us anymore. You blamed yourself for what happened back then. Fine, we get it. But why are you back?" He shook his head in disbelief. "You disappeared for a year, so why now?"
"I..."
"Do you know how hard it was for me to try to get over everything?" This time, Junhyung's voice was full of emotions. "I miss Kikwang and Dongwoon. Hyunseung still hasn't woken up, Yoseob has his amnesia, and I have no one to depend on. How could you do that to me?"
He looked down, refusing to meet the younger male's eyes. He indeed was selfish.
"And here I thought you've erased the fact that this house even existed." The younger did not stop. "So is that why Yoseob often tells me of his encounters with you, although sometimes he fails to mention your name? Because you haven't been able to let go?"
Without a word, he took out a bag and handed it over to Junhyung, who frowned.
"What is it?" Receiving no response, he opened it and was astonished to discover what it was. A Pikachu doll.
"You gave me that when we first moved in together, remember?"
Junhyung was speechless. "You... you had it with you all this time?"
He nodded. "It was hypocritical of me for saying I wanted to forget you all. If I really wanted to, I wouldn't have brought that with me." He watched as Junhyung took a picture out of the bag. "...And that photo as well."
Still speechless, Junhyung stared at the picture. The six of them, smiling. Before he could stare any longer, he turned to the older male. "So is this why you came?"
He put his freezing hands in his pockets. "I've spent many memories with Yoseob, and none of them even matters because he'll forget them as soon as he wakes up in the morning." He peeked inside the house. He should be asleep now, and by tomorrow he will become the same Yang Yoseob. He bit his lip. Except that he will forget about me and whatever we did together today.
"You guys hung out together again, huh?" Junhyung asked, as if reading his mind. "He did talk about eating tteokbokki with a nice friend he met in the park." His face softened. "I guessed it must have been you."
It was too cold. He decided to leave, but not before pulling his dongsaeng into a tight hug.
Junhyung had a shocked expression on his face. "What--"
He did not care. He wished he could let him know.
But I can't.
---
The hospital was unusually quiet. People in white uniform occasionally walked back and forth through the corridors. Sometimes patients in wheelchairs would take a stroll in the garden, accompanied by the nurses.
He hated that place. It smelled like drugs and sick patients. There was nothing good in this place. Even people working in the receptionist tables had a depressing, gloomy look on their faces.
He held his friend's hand and made their way to the ICU room.
The room was white, and the silence was so unbearable that he felt the need to make some noise from his shoes as he stepped inside. His friend tilted his head when they stopped by a patient's bed, labeled with the name: JANG HYUNSEUNG.
The patient had his eyes closed, with countless number of tubes and cables surrounding him. His face was pale, and his lips were dry, as if he had not awakened in a very long time.
"What happened to him?" his friend asked, sounding very worried. "When is he going to wake up?"
He held the sleeping patient's hand firmly in his. "I don't know, Yoseob."
Yoseob pouted, his eyes seeming anxious. "He must've suffered from a terrible accident."
He tried not to cry.
"Hyung?"
Junhyung managed to find Doojoon's house after asking people in his neighborhood. He figured that since Yoseob had met him quiet often, he must have lived close to his house.
The front door was unlocked--Junhyung found this very strange. He looked around the small living room. No signs of Doojoon. He tried looking into the dining room and kitchen, but to no avail. He finally reached the bedroom.
"Hyung?" he called again, opening the door slowly.
Doojoon was sprawled on the floor, an empty bottle of sleeping pills in one hand. Junhyung rushed to his side, shouting his name. He shook the older male's body, hit the cheek, and even pumping the chest in hope to wake him up. He really had hoped Doojoon was only asleep. But it was no use. Doojoon's eyes remained closed, his face seeming peaceful. He had gone to sleep forever.
And never to wake up again.