Dominant vs. submissive, ie, where do I fall on the spectrum? (Why am I thinking of all this stuff recently, honestly [I blame fandom]). ( blah blah blah )
(I'm sorry it's probably totally inappropriate of me to respond to something like this with a fandom reference but I couldn't help but think TANITH
( ... )
(To be honest this stemmed from a thought about Mello, so... yeah not inappropriate at all.)
I would love to let someone else take the reins in most situations, but I don't trust them to do things to my standard? I joke around at work saying stuff like, "if other people knew how to do their jobs mine would be easier" and stuff like that, and I'm only partially joking.
I also get very intimidated by people who have a more domineering personality than I do. If that means anything. Maybe I find them threatening.
I'd probably be the same way if the people around me had lower standards than me, honestly! I remember this being the case back when I actually did public schooling.
That could be. The whole alpha male vs. alpha male thing or something. Except instead of prospective mates it's books.
I think very few could be categorized as purely dominant or purely submissive and I'm pretty sure those are the people society generally finds the creepiest. Well, at the very least I feel that way. When I say creepiest for the far ends of the spectrum, I'm thinking in terms of people in relationships who exert extreme control over someone (i.e. You must have your hair long. You can't go out with your friends. You can only do this, that or the other thing.) or cannot stand up for themselves at all (i.e. those who give in to the controller and convince themselves that "Oh, he does that because he loves me).
For the majority, we have tendencies to swing one way or the other, but as rosage said, certain situations make it ok for us to let someone else take control or make us WANT someone else to take control
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I hate that I view "submissive" as "weak," because it's a personality thing and not a weakness? But you see where I'm coming from with that :P
I did the same exact thing when I switched positions. In fact I'm still doing it, if that further proves my point. I should be giving up my old imprint, but I keep on going back saying, "hey, do you need my help?" because it's driving me insane that no one's really handling it now. (That's a whole other story, haha)
Maybe there are people who do see me as purely dominant, and that's why they're afraid of me :P I don't want to be feared. I have enough trouble talking to people to begin with!
That definitely could be a possibility, the intimidation thing. Most people with dominant personalities can and do come off as a little intimidating without realizing it... or is that just our innate smidge of submissive nature that causes that intimidation
( ... )
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(To be honest this stemmed from a thought about Mello, so... yeah not inappropriate at all.)
I would love to let someone else take the reins in most situations, but I don't trust them to do things to my standard? I joke around at work saying stuff like, "if other people knew how to do their jobs mine would be easier" and stuff like that, and I'm only partially joking.
I also get very intimidated by people who have a more domineering personality than I do. If that means anything. Maybe I find them threatening.
Reply
I'd probably be the same way if the people around me had lower standards than me, honestly! I remember this being the case back when I actually did public schooling.
That could be. The whole alpha male vs. alpha male thing or something. Except instead of prospective mates it's books.
Reply
Reply
For the majority, we have tendencies to swing one way or the other, but as rosage said, certain situations make it ok for us to let someone else take control or make us WANT someone else to take control ( ... )
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I did the same exact thing when I switched positions. In fact I'm still doing it, if that further proves my point. I should be giving up my old imprint, but I keep on going back saying, "hey, do you need my help?" because it's driving me insane that no one's really handling it now. (That's a whole other story, haha)
Maybe there are people who do see me as purely dominant, and that's why they're afraid of me :P I don't want to be feared. I have enough trouble talking to people to begin with!
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