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[vanillamedic]

things are going, I'm getting over a bug and we're both getting over lack of sleep...
R and I did the Relay for Life walk friday night and it was really sureal, strange and kind of sad I don't know how to explain.

Comments

[kellidunham]

Shit that sucks.

Before Heather died, I mostly tried not to think about it. Which is impossible, right? But you can't prepare for it in advance, except for perhaps logistically.

For us, talking openly and frankly helped. We also agreed that we both had carte blanche to feel sad about any future uncertainties (even if R is ultimately fine this is very very scary I imagine). We didn't try to "be brave" for one another. Our agreement between us was that I had the right to be as sad as I wanted, because my feelings were my own, but she also had the right to ask me to sometimes "go be sad in the other room" if she felt like would have to take care of me when she didn't have the strength.

Other than that I don't know what to say except for, from my experience the strength only comes moment by moment.

And support helps. It helps a lot. The only way I have ogtten through this past three months is spending time with the people who loved Heather.