Disturbia (Taoris, PG)
Title: Disturbia
Paring: onesided!Taoris
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2698
Note: Happy late birthday to me? lol. Inspired by Disturbia.
Summary: Kris is one topic that keeps Tao awake at night and he spends many, many nights awake.
☆
Tao has always liked night better. The way he felt like he was stealing the quiet moments of his hometown, a city that was never quite asleep. Something just drew the boy from childhood, to adulthood, and to the dark lit times, when the sun is facing the other way and majority of population was asleep. It was the way the crickets sang into the crisp air, that certain night scent that carried hints of earth and pollution, the quiet that blanketed across the bustling city life.
At the same time, Tao hated the night. It's the same reason why Tao wanders out into the chill night air. He hates the night. The way that everyone's wrapped in dreams or nightmares, whilst he's plagued with replaying scenes and angry voices.
Tonight, Tao stares dejectedly with a sort of accepted defeat at the wood of the bed on top of his bed. He glances at the watch that he's taken to wear at night to help him keep track of the minutes that slip away in the thoughts that swirl in his far too busy mind. The numbers read 3:23 and he knows that all the other members had fallen into dreams the moment their eyes closed. Tao knows that he could easily blink and glance back at his watch and read 5:34.
As any other sleepless night, today's memories are dredged up from his childhood, and Tao takes a seat back as the sounds, sights, and memories wash over his weary body.
People, doctors, have whispered diagnostics of chronic insomnia into his parent's ears after a number of raised eyebrows at his lack of energy as a child. They had originally brushed it off as him depleting energy from wushu, but nothing could explain why Tao would wander downstairs at 4 am, wide awake with dark eye bags, and stare out the living room window. Too many nights passed like this and Tao progressively became less on track with the other kids and became more abnormal. His parents caved and eventually brought the young boy to a doctor in hopes of a diagnosis of maybe "it's just a phase all children go through" and perhaps a herbal medicinal drink to aide Tao in sleeping easier. They never expected to leave the pristine office with a report of chronic insomnia and a prescription of a drug with a name that just baffled the young child.
It worked for a bit. Tao slept like a baby and his parents sighed collectively in relief. As time tends to do to people, his parents slacked on the every night reminder and those nights Tao would find himself curled underneath a blanket on the couch, a small voice in his head reminding him that he would have darker circles the next day. He never did tell his parents, too painfully shy to bring up anything really. He'd lie on his bed, on his back, side, belly, anything, but too many memories flashed behind his closed eyelids, so he preferred to just keep his eyes open until they'd blissfully close, too heavy to stay open. Tao snatches an average of 2 hours of sleep on those painful nights and his dark circles just grow a little bit darker.
The drug with the name that none of them can pronounce effects slowly wore off through the years and the now lanky teenager spent his nights alternating growling angrily at how unfair it was for everyone to be peacefully sleeping while Tao alone had to fight to slip into the dream world and just accepting what he's been dealt and spends the hours organizing and studying.
It's not always nights spent wandering and doing things besides sleeping for Tao. His insomnia, after he had hit the age of 10, came and went in spells. Most nights he was able to sleep through the entire night and actually wake up feeling refreshed. But when he joined SM as a trainee and the end of the month came around for evaluations, his stress spiked and the familiar routine of wandering in the cool night air, except in a foreign city of Beijing. The move to Seoul hit a heavy toll on Tao and it took him weeks to sleep longer than 2 hours again.
A heavy snore silences his memories for a moment and Tao glances in the direction of the snore, his train of thought broken. It's all quiet in his mind, thankfully, and he briefly wonders how long his respite is. He hasn't been hit with insomnia for quite awhile and he pins the cause of the restless nights on the upcoming comeback and the endless months of promoting to come.
Needless to say, stress hits Tao harder than the other members and he's learned long ago not to tug at Kris' sleeve and whine that he can't sleep. He rolls over to stare at the wall and spends another night running through the choreography they learned 10 months ago in his head, an attempt to use the time practically, and the night bleeds into day as lights creeps quietly into the room and soon birds are greeting the day. Tao hears Minseok's alarm go off distantly and the sound is cut off after just a few moments and the telltale sounds of shuffling inform Tao that time for sleep is over.
Before long, sounds of a waking boy band fill the dorm and drowns out the fluttering thoughts that cause the exhaustion Tao drags himself through everyday. He feigns sleep, mainly to keep the worry away from everyone because he's always hated swallowing the pills that had names in Latin.
Just like clockwork, a gentle hand rouses Tao out of his light sleep and the sleepy eyed face of Yixing fills his vision. A relieved smile tests on the dancer's face and he asks Tao in their mother tongue, "Have a good night's sleep?"
Tao blinks lethargically at the blond and eventually slowly nods, a smile resting on his lips. "Mmm," he hums and the dancer moves onto Luhan. Like an actor who's done the same play over and over Tao pulls the hood over anyone's eyes and he done his unspoken lines of going through the motions similar to the other boys swinging legs over the sides of beds and how reluctant moans answer wake up calls. It's just another day to force his way through.
☆
By the beginning of practice, it's clear to the rest of EXO that Tao had not gotten the good night's sleep that he had claimed he had.
Another practice hacks away at Tao's performance and sheer exhaustion makes Tao's normally limber limbs sluggish in his moves. He's already nearly crashed into Baekhyun, who'd squeaked and moved away from the drowsy 6 foot giant as fast as he could, smacking into Jongdae in his escape. Jongdae's adlibs are cut off by a surprised gasp and he trips into Minseok and the whole thing is a mess by then. Tao just hangs his head as the dance instructor scolds him for his carelessness and his members are watching Tao with a worried eye.
By hour 2, Tao just wants to lie down and let sleep, which probably won't come, wash over him.
By hour 4, he just wants to melt into the floor and let the darkness take over him. He doesn't even know how he's moving at this point. His arms and legs feel like they weigh a thousand pounds and his movements are only getting more sloppy, the scoldings more frequent, the tension in the room rising. The blacked haired teen brushes off all murmurs asking if he's ok and just resumes his position with a resolution that breaks down as the practice progresses.
By hour 5, Tao isn't the only one ready to just collapse into bed and just sleep for hours. At this point, he's only remaining vertical through sheer will. 1 more hour, he chants to himself.
He doesn't make it to the 6th hour.
☆
Tao slowly rises to consciousness and stark white walls stare back at him. His head throbs, and his body refuses to move.
He squints at the fluorescent light and tries to get things moving in his head.
Where is he? Probably at the hospital, judging by the subtle scent of disinfectant.
What is he doing here? The last that he remembers is the floor of the practice room rushing up, the sound of an angry rush filling his ears.
Things click and Tao figures that he must have blacked out. The throb in the back of his head would explain a few things.
He almost shakes his head in an odd way, a mix of relief, disappointment, and resentment leaves him with too many emotions to deal with right now. He grimaces and abandons his effort to sit up and just settles for turning his head in an excruciatingly slow manner to reduce the chances of further aggravating the painful pounding to try to find a button that hopefully will call a nurse, but a painfully familiar sight stops Tao and he sucks in a breath that reminds him of his fragile state.
Tao ignores the pain and watches as he slumbers, a peaceful expression marred by a tight line between his brows.
Tao takes the stolen moments that he can, staring unabashedly at Kris, a hollow ache echoing in his chest. He can already imagine the leader's expression and the things that he will inevitably say as he attempts to dance that fine line of scolding and thank-god-you're-ok.
There's too much going on his mind, but instead of being carefully filed away, it's a hurricane of information, feelings, and thoughts that throws Tao into a frozen state. Raw emotions shine in Tao's eyes as he stares at the sleeping Kris, longing, want, desire all scream out of the quiet teen. But the louder, larger part of him, restraint, logic, and reality keep him from caving into something he can't recognize.
It's always Kris who watches Tao with an eagle eye from the moment that Tao quietly confessed his condition during trainee days when they had both shared a room in the dorm. It's always Kris who stays at the hospital when Tao's body gives up and says no more, ushering the other members home to rest. It's always Kris who had set the limits for Tao, since the other Chinese man seemed to know Tao better than Tao knew himself. And it was always Kris who Tao had fallen quietly in love with and who never showed anything beyond leaderly worry.
He knows that it's not fair to Kris if Tao would suddenly dump his feelings all over the elder, so Tao bottles it up and it's a constant topic that plagues Tao at night when his spells return. The nights that Tao whines enough for Kris to sleep with Tao are uneventful, an odd acceptance that his body takes and he actually manages to sleep during his spells.
A bitter smile twists at his lips and he realizes that Kris was the reason that he was probably able to sleep without waking up exhausted like the nights that he does manage to sleep - alone.
Want scratches deep lines into Tao and he feels himself bargaining with himself. A dangerous territory. He lays there for an nondescript time an internal war howling inside. Just once, tempting whispers and Tao feels himself giving in. With the last reassuring thought that Kris was a really deep sleeper, he moves his arm to reach out at the blond.
He distractedly notes that his hand is slightly trembling he tries to make excuses in his head if Kris wakes up and he slowly lowers his arm to gently touch the over bleached hair of Kris. It's unexpectedly soft considering that amount of dye jobs its gone through and Tao almost reverently moves his hand in a stroking motion.
Greed prods Tao to just take a little more while he has the chance and before he knows it, his hand is brushing over Kris' cheek. Tao spend innumerable hours just tracing the contours of his face in his mind's eye, longing making the image sharper and oh so much more painful to him, but he just can't seem to let go of the wish.
Eyelashes flutter and Tao jerks his hand away, a heat rushing up to to fill his previously pale complexion. Kris comes to and he's disoriented, his eyes taking in the hospital room similar to how Tao had been before.
The piercing eyes lock into Tao and his breath hitches as he sees so many emotions run through them. Tao almost deludes himself to think that he sees things beyond worry and concern, like love that's not from friendship, but he chides himself as Kris opens his mouth.
“白痴,” Kris whispers to Tao and Tao hangs his head. Fool.
He bites his lip, unease in his body language and he stiffens as he feels arms wrap around him. Tao hears Kris say, “Why didn't you say anything? They said that you haven't been sleeping well, or at all. Why didn't you tell me?”
Kris' voice is wavering with an emotion that Tao can't identify and the younger remains quiet, knowing that he isn't done.
“Why did you lie to me?”
At this, Tao's eyes come up and they hold onto Kris' wondering eyes for a moment before he looks away, the weight of his leader's gaze too heavy. He answers after a pregnant pause, “I didn't want you to worry. You already have enough on your mind.”
“And this doesn't make me worry even more?”
Tao's answering silence is an apology on its own.
“Do you know how worried I was? Can you imagine the panic I go through every time you black out? You know how much it hurts when you think it's better to go on until you crack your head against the floor than to tell me because you didn't want me to worry?” At this, Kris' voice rises beyond a whisper and almost reaches an outdoor volume before cracking and Tao flinches at this.
“I'm sor-”
“No, dammit, Tao! I don't want you to apologize. I want you to tell me!” Kris is actually shouting at this point.
Tao hears footsteps running in the halls and a nurse opens the door and stares wearily at Kris before asking, “Is everything alright?”
The blond takes a moment to recollect himself before releasing a breath, “Yeah. Sorry. I'll be mindful of my volume. I'm sorry for the disturbance.”
The nurse hesitates, looking between the tired Kris and the meek Tao on the bed before nodding and slipping out of the room, closing the door after her.
Silence hangs heavy in the door and neither can look at the other in the eye.
“I'm sorry, Wu fan ge.” Tao uses Kris' Chinese name and Kris blinks at that before Tao sees Kris tumble apart in front of him.
Kris falls heavily into the chair next to the bed and he buries his head near Tao's abdomen, wrapping his arms around the younger with a sense of delicacy and Tao jolts at the unexpected contact. The taller just sighs and mumbles somewhere around Tao's belly button, “Please tell me. Tell me everything.”
Everything. The word curls in Tao's mind and he almost spills his secret out to Kris but just brushes Kris' hair and whispers, “Ok.”
Tao thinks he feels his heart break a little bit more, but the sweet melodies that sing as he unresistingly tangles his long fingers into the elder's hair are too loud. Tao eventually feels Kris' breath even out and he knows that he's fallen asleep. He knows that Kris is all that he is going to be able to think about as he'll fall asleep in the leader's bed, a tradition done every time Tao returns from the hospital.
I'll tell you everything. Tao just barely whispers into the cold room,
“我爱你.” I love you.
☆
It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
It's too close for comfort
Splintering l Drowning l Disturbia l Flawless
Paring: onesided!Taoris
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2698
Note: Happy late birthday to me? lol. Inspired by Disturbia.
Summary: Kris is one topic that keeps Tao awake at night and he spends many, many nights awake.
☆
Tao has always liked night better. The way he felt like he was stealing the quiet moments of his hometown, a city that was never quite asleep. Something just drew the boy from childhood, to adulthood, and to the dark lit times, when the sun is facing the other way and majority of population was asleep. It was the way the crickets sang into the crisp air, that certain night scent that carried hints of earth and pollution, the quiet that blanketed across the bustling city life.
At the same time, Tao hated the night. It's the same reason why Tao wanders out into the chill night air. He hates the night. The way that everyone's wrapped in dreams or nightmares, whilst he's plagued with replaying scenes and angry voices.
Tonight, Tao stares dejectedly with a sort of accepted defeat at the wood of the bed on top of his bed. He glances at the watch that he's taken to wear at night to help him keep track of the minutes that slip away in the thoughts that swirl in his far too busy mind. The numbers read 3:23 and he knows that all the other members had fallen into dreams the moment their eyes closed. Tao knows that he could easily blink and glance back at his watch and read 5:34.
As any other sleepless night, today's memories are dredged up from his childhood, and Tao takes a seat back as the sounds, sights, and memories wash over his weary body.
People, doctors, have whispered diagnostics of chronic insomnia into his parent's ears after a number of raised eyebrows at his lack of energy as a child. They had originally brushed it off as him depleting energy from wushu, but nothing could explain why Tao would wander downstairs at 4 am, wide awake with dark eye bags, and stare out the living room window. Too many nights passed like this and Tao progressively became less on track with the other kids and became more abnormal. His parents caved and eventually brought the young boy to a doctor in hopes of a diagnosis of maybe "it's just a phase all children go through" and perhaps a herbal medicinal drink to aide Tao in sleeping easier. They never expected to leave the pristine office with a report of chronic insomnia and a prescription of a drug with a name that just baffled the young child.
It worked for a bit. Tao slept like a baby and his parents sighed collectively in relief. As time tends to do to people, his parents slacked on the every night reminder and those nights Tao would find himself curled underneath a blanket on the couch, a small voice in his head reminding him that he would have darker circles the next day. He never did tell his parents, too painfully shy to bring up anything really. He'd lie on his bed, on his back, side, belly, anything, but too many memories flashed behind his closed eyelids, so he preferred to just keep his eyes open until they'd blissfully close, too heavy to stay open. Tao snatches an average of 2 hours of sleep on those painful nights and his dark circles just grow a little bit darker.
The drug with the name that none of them can pronounce effects slowly wore off through the years and the now lanky teenager spent his nights alternating growling angrily at how unfair it was for everyone to be peacefully sleeping while Tao alone had to fight to slip into the dream world and just accepting what he's been dealt and spends the hours organizing and studying.
It's not always nights spent wandering and doing things besides sleeping for Tao. His insomnia, after he had hit the age of 10, came and went in spells. Most nights he was able to sleep through the entire night and actually wake up feeling refreshed. But when he joined SM as a trainee and the end of the month came around for evaluations, his stress spiked and the familiar routine of wandering in the cool night air, except in a foreign city of Beijing. The move to Seoul hit a heavy toll on Tao and it took him weeks to sleep longer than 2 hours again.
A heavy snore silences his memories for a moment and Tao glances in the direction of the snore, his train of thought broken. It's all quiet in his mind, thankfully, and he briefly wonders how long his respite is. He hasn't been hit with insomnia for quite awhile and he pins the cause of the restless nights on the upcoming comeback and the endless months of promoting to come.
Needless to say, stress hits Tao harder than the other members and he's learned long ago not to tug at Kris' sleeve and whine that he can't sleep. He rolls over to stare at the wall and spends another night running through the choreography they learned 10 months ago in his head, an attempt to use the time practically, and the night bleeds into day as lights creeps quietly into the room and soon birds are greeting the day. Tao hears Minseok's alarm go off distantly and the sound is cut off after just a few moments and the telltale sounds of shuffling inform Tao that time for sleep is over.
Before long, sounds of a waking boy band fill the dorm and drowns out the fluttering thoughts that cause the exhaustion Tao drags himself through everyday. He feigns sleep, mainly to keep the worry away from everyone because he's always hated swallowing the pills that had names in Latin.
Just like clockwork, a gentle hand rouses Tao out of his light sleep and the sleepy eyed face of Yixing fills his vision. A relieved smile tests on the dancer's face and he asks Tao in their mother tongue, "Have a good night's sleep?"
Tao blinks lethargically at the blond and eventually slowly nods, a smile resting on his lips. "Mmm," he hums and the dancer moves onto Luhan. Like an actor who's done the same play over and over Tao pulls the hood over anyone's eyes and he done his unspoken lines of going through the motions similar to the other boys swinging legs over the sides of beds and how reluctant moans answer wake up calls. It's just another day to force his way through.
☆
By the beginning of practice, it's clear to the rest of EXO that Tao had not gotten the good night's sleep that he had claimed he had.
Another practice hacks away at Tao's performance and sheer exhaustion makes Tao's normally limber limbs sluggish in his moves. He's already nearly crashed into Baekhyun, who'd squeaked and moved away from the drowsy 6 foot giant as fast as he could, smacking into Jongdae in his escape. Jongdae's adlibs are cut off by a surprised gasp and he trips into Minseok and the whole thing is a mess by then. Tao just hangs his head as the dance instructor scolds him for his carelessness and his members are watching Tao with a worried eye.
By hour 2, Tao just wants to lie down and let sleep, which probably won't come, wash over him.
By hour 4, he just wants to melt into the floor and let the darkness take over him. He doesn't even know how he's moving at this point. His arms and legs feel like they weigh a thousand pounds and his movements are only getting more sloppy, the scoldings more frequent, the tension in the room rising. The blacked haired teen brushes off all murmurs asking if he's ok and just resumes his position with a resolution that breaks down as the practice progresses.
By hour 5, Tao isn't the only one ready to just collapse into bed and just sleep for hours. At this point, he's only remaining vertical through sheer will. 1 more hour, he chants to himself.
He doesn't make it to the 6th hour.
☆
Tao slowly rises to consciousness and stark white walls stare back at him. His head throbs, and his body refuses to move.
He squints at the fluorescent light and tries to get things moving in his head.
Where is he? Probably at the hospital, judging by the subtle scent of disinfectant.
What is he doing here? The last that he remembers is the floor of the practice room rushing up, the sound of an angry rush filling his ears.
Things click and Tao figures that he must have blacked out. The throb in the back of his head would explain a few things.
He almost shakes his head in an odd way, a mix of relief, disappointment, and resentment leaves him with too many emotions to deal with right now. He grimaces and abandons his effort to sit up and just settles for turning his head in an excruciatingly slow manner to reduce the chances of further aggravating the painful pounding to try to find a button that hopefully will call a nurse, but a painfully familiar sight stops Tao and he sucks in a breath that reminds him of his fragile state.
Tao ignores the pain and watches as he slumbers, a peaceful expression marred by a tight line between his brows.
Tao takes the stolen moments that he can, staring unabashedly at Kris, a hollow ache echoing in his chest. He can already imagine the leader's expression and the things that he will inevitably say as he attempts to dance that fine line of scolding and thank-god-you're-ok.
There's too much going on his mind, but instead of being carefully filed away, it's a hurricane of information, feelings, and thoughts that throws Tao into a frozen state. Raw emotions shine in Tao's eyes as he stares at the sleeping Kris, longing, want, desire all scream out of the quiet teen. But the louder, larger part of him, restraint, logic, and reality keep him from caving into something he can't recognize.
It's always Kris who watches Tao with an eagle eye from the moment that Tao quietly confessed his condition during trainee days when they had both shared a room in the dorm. It's always Kris who stays at the hospital when Tao's body gives up and says no more, ushering the other members home to rest. It's always Kris who had set the limits for Tao, since the other Chinese man seemed to know Tao better than Tao knew himself. And it was always Kris who Tao had fallen quietly in love with and who never showed anything beyond leaderly worry.
He knows that it's not fair to Kris if Tao would suddenly dump his feelings all over the elder, so Tao bottles it up and it's a constant topic that plagues Tao at night when his spells return. The nights that Tao whines enough for Kris to sleep with Tao are uneventful, an odd acceptance that his body takes and he actually manages to sleep during his spells.
A bitter smile twists at his lips and he realizes that Kris was the reason that he was probably able to sleep without waking up exhausted like the nights that he does manage to sleep - alone.
Want scratches deep lines into Tao and he feels himself bargaining with himself. A dangerous territory. He lays there for an nondescript time an internal war howling inside. Just once, tempting whispers and Tao feels himself giving in. With the last reassuring thought that Kris was a really deep sleeper, he moves his arm to reach out at the blond.
He distractedly notes that his hand is slightly trembling he tries to make excuses in his head if Kris wakes up and he slowly lowers his arm to gently touch the over bleached hair of Kris. It's unexpectedly soft considering that amount of dye jobs its gone through and Tao almost reverently moves his hand in a stroking motion.
Greed prods Tao to just take a little more while he has the chance and before he knows it, his hand is brushing over Kris' cheek. Tao spend innumerable hours just tracing the contours of his face in his mind's eye, longing making the image sharper and oh so much more painful to him, but he just can't seem to let go of the wish.
Eyelashes flutter and Tao jerks his hand away, a heat rushing up to to fill his previously pale complexion. Kris comes to and he's disoriented, his eyes taking in the hospital room similar to how Tao had been before.
The piercing eyes lock into Tao and his breath hitches as he sees so many emotions run through them. Tao almost deludes himself to think that he sees things beyond worry and concern, like love that's not from friendship, but he chides himself as Kris opens his mouth.
“白痴,” Kris whispers to Tao and Tao hangs his head. Fool.
He bites his lip, unease in his body language and he stiffens as he feels arms wrap around him. Tao hears Kris say, “Why didn't you say anything? They said that you haven't been sleeping well, or at all. Why didn't you tell me?”
Kris' voice is wavering with an emotion that Tao can't identify and the younger remains quiet, knowing that he isn't done.
“Why did you lie to me?”
At this, Tao's eyes come up and they hold onto Kris' wondering eyes for a moment before he looks away, the weight of his leader's gaze too heavy. He answers after a pregnant pause, “I didn't want you to worry. You already have enough on your mind.”
“And this doesn't make me worry even more?”
Tao's answering silence is an apology on its own.
“Do you know how worried I was? Can you imagine the panic I go through every time you black out? You know how much it hurts when you think it's better to go on until you crack your head against the floor than to tell me because you didn't want me to worry?” At this, Kris' voice rises beyond a whisper and almost reaches an outdoor volume before cracking and Tao flinches at this.
“I'm sor-”
“No, dammit, Tao! I don't want you to apologize. I want you to tell me!” Kris is actually shouting at this point.
Tao hears footsteps running in the halls and a nurse opens the door and stares wearily at Kris before asking, “Is everything alright?”
The blond takes a moment to recollect himself before releasing a breath, “Yeah. Sorry. I'll be mindful of my volume. I'm sorry for the disturbance.”
The nurse hesitates, looking between the tired Kris and the meek Tao on the bed before nodding and slipping out of the room, closing the door after her.
Silence hangs heavy in the door and neither can look at the other in the eye.
“I'm sorry, Wu fan ge.” Tao uses Kris' Chinese name and Kris blinks at that before Tao sees Kris tumble apart in front of him.
Kris falls heavily into the chair next to the bed and he buries his head near Tao's abdomen, wrapping his arms around the younger with a sense of delicacy and Tao jolts at the unexpected contact. The taller just sighs and mumbles somewhere around Tao's belly button, “Please tell me. Tell me everything.”
Everything. The word curls in Tao's mind and he almost spills his secret out to Kris but just brushes Kris' hair and whispers, “Ok.”
Tao thinks he feels his heart break a little bit more, but the sweet melodies that sing as he unresistingly tangles his long fingers into the elder's hair are too loud. Tao eventually feels Kris' breath even out and he knows that he's fallen asleep. He knows that Kris is all that he is going to be able to think about as he'll fall asleep in the leader's bed, a tradition done every time Tao returns from the hospital.
I'll tell you everything. Tao just barely whispers into the cold room,
“我爱你.” I love you.
☆
It's a thief in the night
To come and grab you
It can creep up inside you
And consume you
A disease of the mind
It can control you
Your mind is in disturbia
It's like the darkness is the light
Disturbia
Am I scaring you tonight?
Disturbia
Ain't used to what you like
It's too close for comfort
Splintering l Drowning l Disturbia l Flawless