I watched a new Sun rise at noon ( Read more... )

I have to put on this face. This mask i've just learned to shed, I have to mold it and make lies through smiles. At least this time it's not for me. I have to lie now? I have to pretend to be someone else? I'm at work, and when I answer the phones, its such a cautious game of information. I don't know what my lines are, or what they should be, but ( Read more... )

So basically... this college thing is bullshit. I so need to talk to an adviser and get this whole mess of junk straightened out ( Read more... )

how is it that after all my careful steps and walking over so many eggshells, i've ended up in the same place he's always put me in? he used to be security, but i'm frightened to trust him. I've started to take the risks. how many times will he fly away and return, before he just flies off, and never comes back? is it me? do i somehow drive him to ( Read more... )

You missed it ( Read more... )

Its funny how people say things that resinate with you for a while. I remember my dad saying once (indirectly) that i was the only person who could counter my mother, and it stayed with me-- from that day, i started to stand up to my mom ( Read more... )

I pretty much hate everything right now. I hate life. I hate my boyfriend. I hate my friends. I hate myself. Hate is such an odd word too, thats lost its meaning. i just keep thinking if i have this wonderful life, with all these wonderful people and these opportunities going for me, then why do i feel like shit? i feel so lost and misguided. I ( Read more... )

so, i just hit 19. happy birthday to me, and everyone on the 29th of dec. i just started college. and to be honest...it kinda feels....normal. this shit is retarded. ummmm im kinda not normal. erik says im a man. erik is also a fairy...so his opinion doesnt count. anyways..this relationship is even normal. no...not really. not at all actually. the ( Read more... )

Airports are designed with you in mind to be uncomfortable. You sit in a wheelchair wide seat with no wheels with all the stuffed items of your possession in oversized bags because we're expected to survive with the most minimal of items. Be serious, can I reallylive without my leather jacket, six notebooks (each for individual subject areas of ( Read more... )

so...ive managed to find myself in another relationship. to be fair, i started this one. its just that no one has really caught my attention this way since chris. and i havent liked kissing anyone since dustin. its a good time to sorta relax with it. im putting together my life now and everything isnt insanely hectic...at least not without my ( Read more... )