I haven't felt like a very good person in a long time but I guess that is what happens when your own efforts are met with indecisive indifference. I've spent the last few years dedicating myself to people and causes that forget you the first moment you're not there 24/7. Nobody has truly cared about me in a long long long time outside of my ( Read more... )

Its the past now ( Read more... )

Yes this is another drunken ramblei
I feel like I'm faced with a gamble
one hand is a solid two pair
the other four aces with a fifth to spare
One pays at face value
the other at 20 to one
do I gamble
do I bet
I don't know the answer yet,
in the meantime I help all others,
calling them soldiers, sisters and brothers

Posted via m. ( Read more... )

Life is a circle ( Read more... )

It's has been years since I've felt this darkness ( Read more... )

It's been two years since that hell --- I can't love. I don't know if the two are related but I think they may be. First there was Jen, she was an incredibly hot cheerleading coach and a little older than me. I thought I loved her but she never loved me. I was just a war veteran who she could show off to all her friends. She had a great set of ( Read more... )

It's true I'm a fuck up. I make mistakes and unfortunately mine are never forgiveable. God likes to make me pay for them extremely hard an I hate to tell him my faith isn't strong enough for these constant tests. I think the devil may very well win me over in the end so why does one bother fighting the good fight in the first place. I need some ( Read more... )

It was just a small seasonal bungalow beach house that was designed to sleep up to ten people. The cottage contained two bedrooms, a living room, bathroom with oversized shower stall and a large eat in kitchen. It was by no means tidy but not a disastrous mess either. It was lived in with a few dirty dishes in the sink and some dirty clothes ( Read more... )

Some of you will read this entry and wonder what happened to me...some of you will read this entry and laugh for joy. For those of you in the first category all I can say is don't worry I'm not an idiot. For those in the second category you can fuck yourselves just the same as the person who causes me the pain I currently suffer and get your own ( Read more... )

It grows you on..darkness fear adrenaline...it's something I loathe and adore at the same time. It's safe to say I even loathe to adore it. It's been over 2 and 1/2 years since since I came home from Iraq and still awake in the middle of the night missing the sweet smell of dust and arid dry dirt. I miss looking across from me to see my roommate ( Read more... )