Pie in the Sky part 2
Read the first part here.
08.
“You are going to breastfeed, aren't you?” Jun asks Aiba one day in their green room at TBS. They're on standby before another filming of Himitsu no Arashi-chan and Aiba is trapped listening to the mother-hen pair argue over the benefits of breastfeeding versus formula. He wonders if anything could be worse, but then remembers that both Ohno and Nino are off having their hair styled, and considers himself lucky that the latter isn't around to hear the conversation.
“It's not practical to breastfeed in our line of work, Matsujun,” Sho counters in their heated discussion. “Even with formula all the baby's nutritional needs will be met. There's really not anything lost by going that route.”
“Not anything lost?” Jun says in a tone that begs Sho to seriously, take it all back. “What about all the benefits that go along with breastfeeding? It offers protection by building the baby's immune system and can help fight ear infections and respiratory problems. Not to mention that breast milk is far easier for the infant digestive system to take than artificially created liquids.”
“Ah, but breast milk doesn't contain vitamin D, which is essential for the baby's health. You'd have to give it vitamin D supplements through the first year,” Sho argues, his arms folded across his chest as he leans against the counter by the wall. “Formula contains vitamin D.”
Aiba merely sits and watches them go back and forth like a tennis match.
Jun pushes himself off the couch and strides across the room until he's practically face to face with Sho. “The cost then. Breast milk is completely free and always available. Not to mention, breastfeeding also causes the parent to lose weight. All that baby weight will be gone in no time.”
Aiba looks down to his toned stomach and wonders where all this weight they keep talking about is.
“Free?” Sho says with a laugh. “You're starting to sound like Nino. What about time? Breastfed babies require more feedings, y'know. He'll be feeding or pumping half the time. Think about the world we work in, Jun-kun. There's not a lot of time for that. Not to mention that the parent needs to partake a careful diet. He can't be eating fried chicken every meal of the day.”
Aiba's opinion differs greatly.
“He'll be taking some time off for a while anyway. Once they set a routine for feedings, there really won't be a problem with scheduling. And because he can pump, breast milk can be stored for days, whereas formula stored in the refrigerator isn't good after a day,” Jun pokes a finger straight at Sho's chest. They're far too animated for talking about Aiba's undeveloped mammary glands.
“Well then, let's just ask Aiba-chan what he thinks,” Sho says to Jun, though Aiba is right there in the room with him. Aiba concentrates on both, willing them to keep their argument there in their tiny bubble by the counter, and to kindly leave him out of it if they so please. He really, really, really hopes they don't turn around.
They turn around.
“What do you think, Aiba-chan?” Jun asks with an understanding smile. Sho looks equally as saccharine behind him.
Aiba blinks, looking back and forth between the two in rapid succession. He is quite sure they don't want to know what he really thinks about this whole sordid mess. Nonetheless, he thinks about the things he would say, the words he would use, and the arguments he would make. They're all the same though and Aiba knows they won't listen - or worse, even - scold him.
He thinks about all that he was taught as a child about the birds and the bees and how his mother told him to wait and find someone special. This is the first time in his life that Aiba really wishes he'd listened to his mother. Then again, even if he had been a virgin, his friends would have started shouting things like immaculate conception or some other nonsense.
He thinks about the fact that his stomach is flat and that he doesn't have breasts (in the feminine sense, anyway) and that he's definitely a boy through and through. He likes boys and he likes girls and while he's had plenty of sex the traditional way, he's pretty sure it's never happened backwards where the female impregnates the male. So far as he knows, males can't get other males pregnant either.
He thinks about the fact that nobody believes him and suddenly the world doesn't make sense anymore and his friends are all completely bat-shit crazy. It feels odd to be the only person left on the planet who actually makes sense. He wonders again if this isn't all some elaborate plan to drive him insane, but his love for Arashi cancels it out and he tells himself that there must be another reason behind it all.
“You guys sure have done a lot of research, haven't you?” he opts to ask instead, the best fake smile he can muster on his lips. He hopes it's enough.
09.
They're taking pictures again, gunky gel and hard cold metal pressing against his lower torso and Aiba seems like the only person disinterested. Jun and Sho and Nino watch with rapt attention as the blob on screen moves so very slightly every few seconds. They can make out the visible shapes of arms and legs and a head - it looks like a baby if Aiba ever saw one. Ohno creates a near-perfect image in his sketchbook with charcoal strokes and Aiba wonders if it's really sanitary to have those in a doctor's office.
“It's so beautiful,” Jun says hoarsely and Aiba thinks he's about to cry. They've all grown overly emotional as the pregnancy (which clearly still doesn't exist) has progressed and it's almost as if they're the ones experiencing high levels of crazy-woman hormones and not Aiba (which he clearly isn't).
“Doctor, will we be able to find out the gender today?” Sho asks and the doctor spills into how the baby is very healthy and growing at a normal rate and other various things that Aiba doesn't really pay attention to. “But the choice is up to Aiba-san, whether he wants to know or not,” the doctor finishes and this time Aiba hears every word.
“What are you hoping for, Aiba-chan?” Ohno asks as he looks up from his sketch, a light smile playing over his face in typical Ohno fashion. Aiba thinks it doesn't really matter, since there is no baby, but if he ever does have a child someday, he wants it to be a boy and then he'll have another boy and they'll be brothers and grow up just the same as he and his own brother had. He doesn't say this though.
“I've changed my mind,” Nino announces in a shrill voice, taking the attention off of Aiba. Secretly, the older of the two is grateful. “I hope it's a girl. Raising a daughter should be easier than raising a son, right?”
Jun heartily agrees.
“Until it's time for her to start dating,” Sho reminds them. “And then we'll have to hide a shinai behind the door to thwart off delinquents and the like. No. If it's a girl, we'll only let her date and then marry the best. Like a doctor or something.”
Aiba thinks that if Sho wants the baby so badly, then he can be the one to pretend to carry it.
“Please,” Nino laughs. “Like you'd even know how to use one, mister I studied kendo for three whole days before quitting. You'd probably whack yourself over the head with it in the process.”
“It doesn't matter anyway,” Sho says indignantly. “It's going to be a boy anyway. He's carrying low, isn't he? According to those old superstitions Matsujun wrote down, that means it's going to be a boy. Honestly, I'm surprised it's not twins with how big your tummy is getting, Masaki.”
Aiba doesn't bother looking down this time. He already knows what he'll find and it most certainly isn't a pregnant tummy. He rolls his eyes as the conversation continues.
“That's just an old wives tale, though,” says Nino.
“True,” Matsujun contends. “But I talked to his mother the other day and she said she carried low both when she was pregnant with Aiba-chan and with Yuusuke-kun. These things tend to run in families, you know.”
The doctor beside Aiba pretends not to notice as he hums deeply and reads over charts and papers with one hand, the other still holding the wand against Aiba's lower torso. Aiba himself has no choice but to listen as his three groupmates continue to go back and forth over the gender of the baby - of what it will and won't be, of what they want it and don't want it to be. He can hear the sounds of its heartbeat in the background, as well as the steady pencil strokes of Ohno's artwork.
They're all becoming far too attached to something that doesn't even exist. To find out the gender would probably only pull them in deeper, only make the hearbreak they'll surely experience later more profound.
Aiba makes a decision. “I think it's best if it's a secret.”
10.
Aiba honestly thinks he's going crazy.
11.
Sho has somehow convinced the managers and the higher-ups (and even Johnny himself) that hair dye is somehow bad for pregnant people (even if Jun argues otherwise), and so Aiba is no longer allowed to color his hair. This irks the stylists and Aiba himself, who prefers lighter tones to the natural black his hair has reverted to. It's also the shortest it's been since Kiroi Namida, since two-toned hair doesn't work very well; it was either cut his hair or look like a backwards skunk.
He looks in the mirror at his own reflection. They've told him he's eight months along, but he still doesn't see it - doesn't see anything at all except the same old Aiba. There are a few more worry lines around his eyes, but it's nothing makeup can't cover up for the cameras and really, he's been told that he's starting to look more distinguished as the years catch up. There are no signs of pregnancy though, not that he's surprised.
Arashi aren't the only ones who have been treating him differently as of late. He's starting to form a guilt complex over the sheer amount of presents he's received from various celebrities he has worked with over the years. There is a super expensive crib sent over collectively from the members of TOKIO, a ton of super-plush stuffed animals from Shimura Ken, clothes from Ryo, toys from Yoko, a years supply of diapers from Toma, all sat crowding Sho's living room. There is even more from various sempai and kohai invading the personal space of Aiba's room.
The only present he's found remotely useful is a watch sent over from Ogura-san. And even that sends waves of shame running down his spine.
It isn't just gifts either. Both Becky and DAIGO have both taken to randomly texting him with horrible baby names. And he swears if the Othello pair don't stop molesting his stomach on a weekly basis, with the excuse that they want to feel the baby kick, he is going to go insane.
The entire thing is becoming too big for Aiba to handle. There are so many new rules that he has to abide by: no jumping, no wild dancing, no overexertion - the only game he is allowed to play in VS Arashi anymore is Rolling Coin Tower. He keeps losing in a horrible series of repeated attempts and longs for the day he can do Cliff Climb again.
They've even done a maternity special in Mannequin Five. Sho won in a lacy pink top that seemed to flow over his faux belted baby-bump the other four members had wore. Aiba, of course, wore nothing but his own skin under normal, everyday clothing. Everyone commented on how his stomach looked more convincing, though there was nothing more there than the normal smooth surface he's always had.
Aiba stares in the mirror at his own reflection.
They've told him he's eight months along and he wonders if it's too soon to be over.
12.
Aiba is in his ninth month (and ready to pop, or so they say) when Nino shows up at Sho's apartment one evening, drunker than Aiba has seen him in a very long time. He figures it doesn't take much though, since Nino is a lightweight anyway, and he sinks down onto the floor next to his abysmally sullen friend, slinging an arm around the shorter man's shoulders.
“What's wrong Nino-chan? Did you get dumped again?” Aiba asks, knowing that he and Nino are very similar when it comes to relationships. They're both incapable of fully separating their emotions from one-night stands (though there are many) and their real relationships never work out. It's not the first time he's played a crying shoulder to Nino's irritable post-breakup moods.
Nino's eyes are red and Aiba can see dried tear tracks where they ran in curved lines down the smooth skin of Nino's face. Nino doesn't speak.
“It's okay, you know,” Aiba says cheerily and he jostles Nino's shoulder comfortingly . “There'll be someone for you, Nino. There's someone for everyone, after all. You just have to be patient because I'm sure there's someone out there who will love Nino like he deserves to be loved. You just have to-”
“It's mine, isn't it?” Nino cuts him off abruptly and all Aiba can do is stare in shock.
“What are you talking about, Nino-chan?” Aiba asks.
“I t-thought about it today. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, but 'specially today.” Nino slurs his words drunkenly. It was amazing to Aiba that he'd managed to make it to Sho's apartment at all in his state. “I thought about it a LOT today. I can't stop thinking about it. But it's mine, isn't it? The dates match and everything and I just can't stop thinking about it.”
Aiba shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “You're not making any sense, Nino.”
“The baby,” Nino says and his voice is so painfully strained. “The baby is mine, isn't it?”
Aiba doesn't think he's heard quite right, but he thinks that if Nino wants to be the one hauling around a fictional baby for everyone to fawn over, he's more than welcome to take it. He doesn't say it though, since Nino is too far inebriated to understand anything, and really, nothing makes sense anymore. “Nino-chan,” he says instead. “What are you trying to say?”
“It's me, Aiba-chan,” Nino says, his head heavy against Aiba's shoulder. He can't hold it up anymore and his eyes are fluttering closed as he's drifting off into an alcohol-induced slumber. “I'm your baby's father, aren't I? It was once - just once - the only time we did it and now you're pregnant annnd nobody knows who the father is and it's not fair that you have to do this all by yourself. I could help though, couldn't I? Because I'm the baby's father.” He pauses for a moment in realization. “Oh God... I'm your baby daddy!”
Aiba isn't sure whether he wants to laugh or continue staring at his completely sloshed friend in alarm. His mind doesn't work as fragments of questions and statements and exclamations speed through like echoing thunder. Nino is his baby's father? It can't be, isn't; it is impossible. A thought hits him. “But Nino we've never... you know... had sex. And even if we did, wouldn't it be physically impossible to create a baby? We're both boys.”
“How could you forget?” Nino jolts forward, off of Aiba's shoulder. “How could you forget? If was just after your breakup and we were a little tipsy and you looked so fucking pretty and we just did it. Probably not,” he pauses to hiccup, “the best decision we've ever made... but it's done and now you're gonna have my baby.” He pauses again. “If nothing else, you gotta admit it was damn good sex.”
Aiba doesn't know what to say. His drunken friend is claiming to be the father of his non-existent baby because they'd had imaginary sex. Clearly he is delusional.
Luckily Aiba doesn't have to say anything as Nino once again falls against his body and lets out a soft snore against the exposed skin of his neck. “Hai, hai,” Aiba replies dryly as he runs a reassuring hand through Nino's hair.
13.
They're arguing again and Aiba wants to pull his own hair out. As he watches Sho and Jun try to make their points without shouting, he wonders if this is what real pregnant women feel like all the time - only he's not a woman. Still, he's convinced it's not the hormones that make mothers-to-be irritable, but the continued fussing of the people around them. He wants to take a few of Jun's rings and smack them both upside the head.
His only escape from the turmoil is a bucket of the colonel's best he's got sitting in his lap, a fried chicken leg in each hand.
“Can I have some?” Nino asks as he lands on the cushions beside Aiba, making the bucket jostle in his lap. It's rare for Nino to ask for food (although it is free and that in itself could be a possible explanation) and Aiba isn't quite sure what to make of it. Nino hasn't said a word about his confession and Aiba wonders if the theory was forgotten altogether or if Nino simply doesn't remember that he'd drunkenly reported it to Aiba. Personally, he hopes for both.
That doesn't mean he is about to give up any of his precious chicken though. It's bad enough Ohno swiped a piece before he'd gone off to make-up.
It is his lifeline, his sanity, all wrapped up into 11 secret, special herbs and spices and he is hesitant to let it go. He's considering moving to Kentucky (wherever that is) so that he might live in a land filled to the brim with seasoning shakers and roaming chickens and all you have to do is pick one up and turn it in at the window to get a free bucket. Or at least that's how he imagines Kentucky to be. He doesn't know why his sudden craving for chicken is so pressing - and though he's always liked fried chicken, he's never quite liked it this much.
“I'm talking to you,” Nino makes a point of saying as he dips his hand into the container to pull out a wing. Aiba growls like a tiger, wrapping his arms around the bucket protectively, and all Nino can do is stare in a perplexed manner. “Don't be stingy just because you're ready to pop. Think about all that weight you're gonna have to drop after the baby comes out. I'm doing you a favor.”
Aiba doesn't see the weight. All he sees is a bucket of chicken in his lap and the grease stains he's wiped across the denim of his jeans.
“You're not bringing a camera into the delivery room,” Jun nearly shouts and suddenly the argument he's having with Sho overtakes the entire room. “Would you want to be filmed if you were in labor? Think about Aiba-chan's feelings.”
Aiba's stomach gurgles noisily and he hears it as a sign to eat more chicken.
“I don't see what the big deal is,” Sho counters. Both Aiba and Nino stare at the debating pair as though they're watching a tv drama. It's fun to watch how Sho's face turns red and how Jun's jaw juts out in frustration.
“What if the video got out? What if it was leaked? What would that do to Arashi?” says Jun. “That's not a risk we should be taking.”
“How is the video going to get out when it's just the five of us who are going to have a copy. This is the first of our children, Matsujun. It's a memory that should be captured on film.” Sho pleads as rationally as he can for the moment. “It's something precious.”
Aiba's stomach lurches and he wonders if maybe he's eaten too much.
It'd be a shame to waste the rest of the bucket though.
“Why in the world would we want to remember a sweaty, shouting Aiba? Don't we have enough concert footage for that?” Jun drily cracks a joke, his arms folded over his chest as he looks aimlessly at the ceiling. “You can film as much as you want to afterward. A movie about Aiba in pain is not my idea of a good time.”
“Says the Do-S,” Nino mutters around his chicken wing.
“He wouldn't be in pain if you'd agree to the epidural,” says Sho and he's already losing it.
“We've been over this a thousand times, Sho-san.” Jun's lips are pulled tight as though he really doesn't want to reiterate, but he does anyway. “The risks outweigh the benefits. It's better for him to do this naturally. It's what his body was made to do.”
Aiba doesn't even bother to argue; the breathing techniques he'd learned in lamaze class all those weeks ago help in quelling the growing discomfort in his intestines though. He pushes the chicken bucket into Nino's arms and lets out an audible groan, rubbing at the gurgling area. He thinks it might soon be time to visit the little boys room.
“I just don't think Masaki can handle that much pain.” Neither Sho nor Jun pay him any mind. “If you've read, mothers who are medicated through the birth have a much more rewarding experience. It'll allow him to save up some strength and rest before the pushing stage. It'll also allay any anxiety he might have during the birthing process. I've read it's not good to tense up during contractions.”
“I've read just as much, if not more than you,” Jun says indignantly amidst Sho's: I seriously doubt that. “Would you really risk the health of the child and parent just so there'll be no pain? Those drugs aren't good for the baby and there's a chance Aiba-chan's blood pressure could take a nosedive.”
“I am thinking about his health. His lung capacity isn't what it should be.”
“He'll be fine without it. That's what all those classes on breathing were about, right?”
Aiba burps into his hand and he can feel the indigestion building in his chest. Apparently fried chicken three meals a day for the past two, was not a good idea. He burps again as he moves a flattened palm over the surface of his stomach, pressed tightly under the soft fabric of his shirt. He's just about to excuse himself to the facilities when he feels a hand on his shoulder and a voiced “are you okay, Aiba-chan?” from Nino.
Jun and Sho turn abruptly to fix him with worried stares.
“I-I'm o-okay,” Aiba assures them as the indigestion makes its way up and he lets out a series of tiny burps. “I think I just ate too much chicken, is all. Maybe I should go to the bathroom?”
“I think you're in labor, Aiba-chan.” Jun says as he points to the damp spot on the couch between Aiba's legs. “I think your water broke.”
Aiba looks down in confusion. “No, Matsujun,” he says as he shakes his head. “That's where the bucket was sweating. The chicken was really hot when I brought it here and I haven't moved from this spot yet. It's just from the chicken.”
“Masaki, I know you're scared,” says Sho. “But lying about it isn't going to prolong anything.” He turns to Jun. “We never should have had that conversation around him. He's all freaked out, no doubt.”
“No, Sho-chan.” Aiba holds his hand against his stomach and he can feel the movement within. “I just ate a lot of really greasy chicken. You know what that does.”
“You can experiment on the effects of fried chicken and how it kickstarts labor later, Aiba-chan,” Jun argues and walks forward until he's close enough to grasp Aiba's arm. “Right now you're the one in labor though. We've got to get you to the hospital quickly.”
“You guys get him to the hospital.” Nino cuts in. “I'll go tell Oh-chan and the managers and we'll meet you there.”
“No, no.” Aiba is panicking now. His stomach is still queasy and the noise is growing louder and he really just needs to make it to the bathroom before he makes an even bigger mess of things. “We've got an episode of VS to film, don't we? We can't just let our fans down,” he argues because he knows of no other argument that will work at this point. “Let's just get through this episode and then we'll see how I feel.”
“No can do,” Sho says and takes his other arm. “Your bag is in my car. We'll take it.”
It's hot suddenly and Aiba is sure he's sweating - even more than the chicken. He's looking for a way out, so that he can run to a restroom, but both Sho and Jun have him by the arm and like psychics, they can probably tell he wants to make a run for it. “I just... I just gotta go before we go anywhere,” he says and it's nonsensical and he's trying so hard, but his tummy won't stop rumbling and he never wants to see another piece of fried chicken again. And he's pretty sure he doesn't to visit Kentucky anymore.
“Come on, Aiba-chan,” Jun says and they're both pulling his arms forward. “It'll all be over soon. I promise.”
“No, no, no, no, no,” Aiba chants over and over again and he's shaking his head pitifully. He's going mad; there's no baby, no pregnancy, no need for hospitals, no need for epidurals, no need for anything except a bathroom. “No, no, no.” He tries to pull away from their grasps, but they won't budge. “No, no, no, no, no.” He can feel the tears of desperation pooling in his eyes and the sharp pains that have overtaken his lower abdomen. It's like someone is plunging a knife into his gut and twisting it slowly before pulling out and doing the same in another spot. It's almost unbearable.
But then something happens and Aiba is falling forward, darkness pooling all around him.
The last thing he remembers is falling into Sho's arms.
14.
The first thing he sees when he wakes up is the bright light that spills in from the windows and it's all blurry and he's really wants nothing more than to go back to sleep. There are people in the room with him and he can hear them whispering over the sounds of beeps and boops and something that sounds like a heartbeat. Something is pinning his forefinger and he realizes that the steady beating belongs to him and that he's hooked up to a monitor in the sterile hospital room.
Somehow it seems like a fitting conclusion to this entire scenario, being back in the place it had begun. That is, until he notices the itching in his legs and arms and torso; he itches all over, he concedes, and wonders if fried chicken can cause an allergic reaction. It'd be a shame to have to give it up.
“Ngh,” he moans as he tries to sit up. The other occupants in the room notice and turn to stare. “How long have I been out for?” he asks the nearest person, Ohno.
“Hours, probably,” Ohno answers and Aiba figures that's the only answer he's going to receive from it. Aiba feels like he's been out for days and judging from the yawns he lets out every few seconds, he could go for another few.
“What happened?” he asks, noticing for the first time that Sho was the only one not to turn around. He stares at the slightly older man's back in question. It almost looks at though Sho has his arms full and Aiba wonders what he's holding, but the thought dies as little pinpricks work their way up his body. “And why am I itchy all over?”
“The doctors had to do a caesarian,” Jun offers slowly, coming to rest at the edge of Aiba's bed. “It's alright though. Everything turned out okay, so you shouldn't worry. Both you and the baby are perfectly fine. The doctor said you might experience an itchy sensation because of the narcotics used in the epidural.”
Baby? Aiba thinks. There can't really be a baby. It's what he'd been betting on all along - that the day would come and no baby would come out (because there was no place for a baby to come out) and Arashi would be sad. They'd cry and ask who would dare play such a cruel joke on them and Aiba would be there to keep them together and comfort them.
“They said it was because of a cephalopelvic distortion,” says Nino and Aiba can tell he's having trouble remembering just what the term is called. “It's where the baby is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis.”
“Is that right?” Aiba says groggily. His tone is dry and he's really in no mood to deal with all this now. “Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe I don't have the place for a baby to come through anyway? Y'know... because I'm not a woman?”
“Aiba-chan,” Ohno says comfortingly as he lays a hand on Aiba's arm. “Your body is made to do things like this... but sometimes it just doesn't happen the way you want it to. It shouldn't make you feel like any less of a man.” Aiba wonders if Ohno understands the irony of that comment at all. “All that matters is that the baby is healthy and alive and so is Aiba-chan.”
“Baby?” Aiba asks aloud as though he's only just been reminded of the fact.
“It's a boy,” Nino says and gestures to where Sho is standing. Slowly the rapper turns around and Aiba sees in his arms, a perfect tiny baby wrapped in a blue blanket and drinking from a small milk-filled bottle. “What are we going to call it, Aiba-chan?” Nino asks.
Aiba doesn't care what they call it, because it obviously isn't his and the thought to ask where they'd stolen a baby from crosses his mind. “You can call it whatever you want, since it's not mine,” he challenges, crossing his arms over his chest the best way he can with an IV hooked into the inside of his elbow. “I don't know where you guys got that baby from, but it most certainly did not come out of me.”
“Oh for goodness sake...” Jun mutters and runs a hand through his hair loosely. “Don't start this crap again. It's your baby. It came out of you and if you don't believe me, there's a huge gash in your stomach to prove it.”
“Is this what they call postpartum depression?” Nino wonders aloud.
“It's not post-whatever depression! Men can't have babies. It's a scientific fact that only women get pregnant, only women have babies, only women go through the pains of childbirth.” Aiba strains his voice as his eyes water in frustration. “This is all really cruel and I'm seriously tired of it, guys.”
“I think Masaki just needs to hold him and he'll see how wonderful it all is,” Sho says and his voice is soft and understanding. “You'll have to be calm though, since babies can sense things like that.”
Aiba shakes his head rapidly in warning. There are tears moving down his face as Sho comes closer and Aiba doesn't know what to do anymore. Soon the baby is placed in his arms and he has no choice except to hold it or let it fall. Aiba isn't one to mistreat any living being, whether it's his own or not, so he gingerly accepts the tiny bundle into both his arms, careful of the wires hooked into him.
The baby blinks sleepily up at him with warm brown eyes and a lazy expression. It hasn't stopped making a suckling motion with its mouth, though the bottle has been removed. Aiba is awed by it all. He hasn't held a baby so small since he was four and being introduced to his little brother for the very first time. It feels so very natural and he thinks that he might not mind having a child of his own (one that is really his) someday.
“Didn't I tell you?” Sho asks and the group gathers around Aiba's bed to watch on like proud papas. “What are we going to call it?”
Aiba can't answer. He's too transfixed on the baby - hypnotized as he stares at it and finds (or so he thinks) some of his own features staring back. It's not possible though - for this child to be his. He can feel their eyes on him, peering down as they wait for an answer, but he simply can't give them one.
“Masaki?” Sho asks.
“Masaki?” They all continue to repeat.
“Masaki?” He feels weak and confused and suddenly the room starts to go dark again.
Everything is different now.
15.
“Masaki?” Someone is shaking his shoulder and Aiba fights against the pull of their voice, wanting nothing more than to stay asleep. He's forced through into consciousness though and as he opens his eyes, he stares madly about the room, looking back and forth as though trying to find something familiar. His gaze locks onto Sho.
“Thank goodness you're awake,” Sho says and the relief is apparent on his face.
“What happened Sho-chan?” Aiba asks frantically. “Where's the baby?”
“Baby?” Sho asks and his eyebrows raise a fraction. Something seems off to Aiba too and he looks down to find his own street clothes - the same ones he'd been wearing when he found out he was (supposedly) pregnant. The last thing he remembers being in though, was a hospital gown. “There's no baby here, Masaki. Should there be?” Sho continues worriedly. “The doctor was in just a bit ago. He says you're just a bit malnourished... from food poisoning, maybe?”
“Where are the others?” Aiba asks abruptly.
“They stayed behind to wrap up the shoot. They've got two cardboard cut outs of us taking our places until you get better,” Sho explains and he presses a hand to Aiba's forehead. “You're not hot anymore. You didn't have a fever when we brought you in, but you developed one somehow while you were sleeping.”
Aiba nods his head in understanding. "Sho-chan..."
"Yeah?" Sho asks as he backs up, taking the chair beside Aiba's bed once again. He looks as though he isn't sure whether he should be sitting or rushing off to find the doctor again.
"You know those really bad stories girls sometimes write about us online?" Aiba says and his stomach feels really funny as the entire episode washes over his brain like a really bad memory.
Sho nods. "Yeah?"
"I think I just had a nightmare."
08.
“You are going to breastfeed, aren't you?” Jun asks Aiba one day in their green room at TBS. They're on standby before another filming of Himitsu no Arashi-chan and Aiba is trapped listening to the mother-hen pair argue over the benefits of breastfeeding versus formula. He wonders if anything could be worse, but then remembers that both Ohno and Nino are off having their hair styled, and considers himself lucky that the latter isn't around to hear the conversation.
“It's not practical to breastfeed in our line of work, Matsujun,” Sho counters in their heated discussion. “Even with formula all the baby's nutritional needs will be met. There's really not anything lost by going that route.”
“Not anything lost?” Jun says in a tone that begs Sho to seriously, take it all back. “What about all the benefits that go along with breastfeeding? It offers protection by building the baby's immune system and can help fight ear infections and respiratory problems. Not to mention that breast milk is far easier for the infant digestive system to take than artificially created liquids.”
“Ah, but breast milk doesn't contain vitamin D, which is essential for the baby's health. You'd have to give it vitamin D supplements through the first year,” Sho argues, his arms folded across his chest as he leans against the counter by the wall. “Formula contains vitamin D.”
Aiba merely sits and watches them go back and forth like a tennis match.
Jun pushes himself off the couch and strides across the room until he's practically face to face with Sho. “The cost then. Breast milk is completely free and always available. Not to mention, breastfeeding also causes the parent to lose weight. All that baby weight will be gone in no time.”
Aiba looks down to his toned stomach and wonders where all this weight they keep talking about is.
“Free?” Sho says with a laugh. “You're starting to sound like Nino. What about time? Breastfed babies require more feedings, y'know. He'll be feeding or pumping half the time. Think about the world we work in, Jun-kun. There's not a lot of time for that. Not to mention that the parent needs to partake a careful diet. He can't be eating fried chicken every meal of the day.”
Aiba's opinion differs greatly.
“He'll be taking some time off for a while anyway. Once they set a routine for feedings, there really won't be a problem with scheduling. And because he can pump, breast milk can be stored for days, whereas formula stored in the refrigerator isn't good after a day,” Jun pokes a finger straight at Sho's chest. They're far too animated for talking about Aiba's undeveloped mammary glands.
“Well then, let's just ask Aiba-chan what he thinks,” Sho says to Jun, though Aiba is right there in the room with him. Aiba concentrates on both, willing them to keep their argument there in their tiny bubble by the counter, and to kindly leave him out of it if they so please. He really, really, really hopes they don't turn around.
They turn around.
“What do you think, Aiba-chan?” Jun asks with an understanding smile. Sho looks equally as saccharine behind him.
Aiba blinks, looking back and forth between the two in rapid succession. He is quite sure they don't want to know what he really thinks about this whole sordid mess. Nonetheless, he thinks about the things he would say, the words he would use, and the arguments he would make. They're all the same though and Aiba knows they won't listen - or worse, even - scold him.
He thinks about all that he was taught as a child about the birds and the bees and how his mother told him to wait and find someone special. This is the first time in his life that Aiba really wishes he'd listened to his mother. Then again, even if he had been a virgin, his friends would have started shouting things like immaculate conception or some other nonsense.
He thinks about the fact that his stomach is flat and that he doesn't have breasts (in the feminine sense, anyway) and that he's definitely a boy through and through. He likes boys and he likes girls and while he's had plenty of sex the traditional way, he's pretty sure it's never happened backwards where the female impregnates the male. So far as he knows, males can't get other males pregnant either.
He thinks about the fact that nobody believes him and suddenly the world doesn't make sense anymore and his friends are all completely bat-shit crazy. It feels odd to be the only person left on the planet who actually makes sense. He wonders again if this isn't all some elaborate plan to drive him insane, but his love for Arashi cancels it out and he tells himself that there must be another reason behind it all.
“You guys sure have done a lot of research, haven't you?” he opts to ask instead, the best fake smile he can muster on his lips. He hopes it's enough.
09.
They're taking pictures again, gunky gel and hard cold metal pressing against his lower torso and Aiba seems like the only person disinterested. Jun and Sho and Nino watch with rapt attention as the blob on screen moves so very slightly every few seconds. They can make out the visible shapes of arms and legs and a head - it looks like a baby if Aiba ever saw one. Ohno creates a near-perfect image in his sketchbook with charcoal strokes and Aiba wonders if it's really sanitary to have those in a doctor's office.
“It's so beautiful,” Jun says hoarsely and Aiba thinks he's about to cry. They've all grown overly emotional as the pregnancy (which clearly still doesn't exist) has progressed and it's almost as if they're the ones experiencing high levels of crazy-woman hormones and not Aiba (which he clearly isn't).
“Doctor, will we be able to find out the gender today?” Sho asks and the doctor spills into how the baby is very healthy and growing at a normal rate and other various things that Aiba doesn't really pay attention to. “But the choice is up to Aiba-san, whether he wants to know or not,” the doctor finishes and this time Aiba hears every word.
“What are you hoping for, Aiba-chan?” Ohno asks as he looks up from his sketch, a light smile playing over his face in typical Ohno fashion. Aiba thinks it doesn't really matter, since there is no baby, but if he ever does have a child someday, he wants it to be a boy and then he'll have another boy and they'll be brothers and grow up just the same as he and his own brother had. He doesn't say this though.
“I've changed my mind,” Nino announces in a shrill voice, taking the attention off of Aiba. Secretly, the older of the two is grateful. “I hope it's a girl. Raising a daughter should be easier than raising a son, right?”
Jun heartily agrees.
“Until it's time for her to start dating,” Sho reminds them. “And then we'll have to hide a shinai behind the door to thwart off delinquents and the like. No. If it's a girl, we'll only let her date and then marry the best. Like a doctor or something.”
Aiba thinks that if Sho wants the baby so badly, then he can be the one to pretend to carry it.
“Please,” Nino laughs. “Like you'd even know how to use one, mister I studied kendo for three whole days before quitting. You'd probably whack yourself over the head with it in the process.”
“It doesn't matter anyway,” Sho says indignantly. “It's going to be a boy anyway. He's carrying low, isn't he? According to those old superstitions Matsujun wrote down, that means it's going to be a boy. Honestly, I'm surprised it's not twins with how big your tummy is getting, Masaki.”
Aiba doesn't bother looking down this time. He already knows what he'll find and it most certainly isn't a pregnant tummy. He rolls his eyes as the conversation continues.
“That's just an old wives tale, though,” says Nino.
“True,” Matsujun contends. “But I talked to his mother the other day and she said she carried low both when she was pregnant with Aiba-chan and with Yuusuke-kun. These things tend to run in families, you know.”
The doctor beside Aiba pretends not to notice as he hums deeply and reads over charts and papers with one hand, the other still holding the wand against Aiba's lower torso. Aiba himself has no choice but to listen as his three groupmates continue to go back and forth over the gender of the baby - of what it will and won't be, of what they want it and don't want it to be. He can hear the sounds of its heartbeat in the background, as well as the steady pencil strokes of Ohno's artwork.
They're all becoming far too attached to something that doesn't even exist. To find out the gender would probably only pull them in deeper, only make the hearbreak they'll surely experience later more profound.
Aiba makes a decision. “I think it's best if it's a secret.”
10.
Aiba honestly thinks he's going crazy.
11.
Sho has somehow convinced the managers and the higher-ups (and even Johnny himself) that hair dye is somehow bad for pregnant people (even if Jun argues otherwise), and so Aiba is no longer allowed to color his hair. This irks the stylists and Aiba himself, who prefers lighter tones to the natural black his hair has reverted to. It's also the shortest it's been since Kiroi Namida, since two-toned hair doesn't work very well; it was either cut his hair or look like a backwards skunk.
He looks in the mirror at his own reflection. They've told him he's eight months along, but he still doesn't see it - doesn't see anything at all except the same old Aiba. There are a few more worry lines around his eyes, but it's nothing makeup can't cover up for the cameras and really, he's been told that he's starting to look more distinguished as the years catch up. There are no signs of pregnancy though, not that he's surprised.
Arashi aren't the only ones who have been treating him differently as of late. He's starting to form a guilt complex over the sheer amount of presents he's received from various celebrities he has worked with over the years. There is a super expensive crib sent over collectively from the members of TOKIO, a ton of super-plush stuffed animals from Shimura Ken, clothes from Ryo, toys from Yoko, a years supply of diapers from Toma, all sat crowding Sho's living room. There is even more from various sempai and kohai invading the personal space of Aiba's room.
The only present he's found remotely useful is a watch sent over from Ogura-san. And even that sends waves of shame running down his spine.
It isn't just gifts either. Both Becky and DAIGO have both taken to randomly texting him with horrible baby names. And he swears if the Othello pair don't stop molesting his stomach on a weekly basis, with the excuse that they want to feel the baby kick, he is going to go insane.
The entire thing is becoming too big for Aiba to handle. There are so many new rules that he has to abide by: no jumping, no wild dancing, no overexertion - the only game he is allowed to play in VS Arashi anymore is Rolling Coin Tower. He keeps losing in a horrible series of repeated attempts and longs for the day he can do Cliff Climb again.
They've even done a maternity special in Mannequin Five. Sho won in a lacy pink top that seemed to flow over his faux belted baby-bump the other four members had wore. Aiba, of course, wore nothing but his own skin under normal, everyday clothing. Everyone commented on how his stomach looked more convincing, though there was nothing more there than the normal smooth surface he's always had.
Aiba stares in the mirror at his own reflection.
They've told him he's eight months along and he wonders if it's too soon to be over.
12.
Aiba is in his ninth month (and ready to pop, or so they say) when Nino shows up at Sho's apartment one evening, drunker than Aiba has seen him in a very long time. He figures it doesn't take much though, since Nino is a lightweight anyway, and he sinks down onto the floor next to his abysmally sullen friend, slinging an arm around the shorter man's shoulders.
“What's wrong Nino-chan? Did you get dumped again?” Aiba asks, knowing that he and Nino are very similar when it comes to relationships. They're both incapable of fully separating their emotions from one-night stands (though there are many) and their real relationships never work out. It's not the first time he's played a crying shoulder to Nino's irritable post-breakup moods.
Nino's eyes are red and Aiba can see dried tear tracks where they ran in curved lines down the smooth skin of Nino's face. Nino doesn't speak.
“It's okay, you know,” Aiba says cheerily and he jostles Nino's shoulder comfortingly . “There'll be someone for you, Nino. There's someone for everyone, after all. You just have to be patient because I'm sure there's someone out there who will love Nino like he deserves to be loved. You just have to-”
“It's mine, isn't it?” Nino cuts him off abruptly and all Aiba can do is stare in shock.
“What are you talking about, Nino-chan?” Aiba asks.
“I t-thought about it today. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, but 'specially today.” Nino slurs his words drunkenly. It was amazing to Aiba that he'd managed to make it to Sho's apartment at all in his state. “I thought about it a LOT today. I can't stop thinking about it. But it's mine, isn't it? The dates match and everything and I just can't stop thinking about it.”
Aiba shakes his head to clear his thoughts. “You're not making any sense, Nino.”
“The baby,” Nino says and his voice is so painfully strained. “The baby is mine, isn't it?”
Aiba doesn't think he's heard quite right, but he thinks that if Nino wants to be the one hauling around a fictional baby for everyone to fawn over, he's more than welcome to take it. He doesn't say it though, since Nino is too far inebriated to understand anything, and really, nothing makes sense anymore. “Nino-chan,” he says instead. “What are you trying to say?”
“It's me, Aiba-chan,” Nino says, his head heavy against Aiba's shoulder. He can't hold it up anymore and his eyes are fluttering closed as he's drifting off into an alcohol-induced slumber. “I'm your baby's father, aren't I? It was once - just once - the only time we did it and now you're pregnant annnd nobody knows who the father is and it's not fair that you have to do this all by yourself. I could help though, couldn't I? Because I'm the baby's father.” He pauses for a moment in realization. “Oh God... I'm your baby daddy!”
Aiba isn't sure whether he wants to laugh or continue staring at his completely sloshed friend in alarm. His mind doesn't work as fragments of questions and statements and exclamations speed through like echoing thunder. Nino is his baby's father? It can't be, isn't; it is impossible. A thought hits him. “But Nino we've never... you know... had sex. And even if we did, wouldn't it be physically impossible to create a baby? We're both boys.”
“How could you forget?” Nino jolts forward, off of Aiba's shoulder. “How could you forget? If was just after your breakup and we were a little tipsy and you looked so fucking pretty and we just did it. Probably not,” he pauses to hiccup, “the best decision we've ever made... but it's done and now you're gonna have my baby.” He pauses again. “If nothing else, you gotta admit it was damn good sex.”
Aiba doesn't know what to say. His drunken friend is claiming to be the father of his non-existent baby because they'd had imaginary sex. Clearly he is delusional.
Luckily Aiba doesn't have to say anything as Nino once again falls against his body and lets out a soft snore against the exposed skin of his neck. “Hai, hai,” Aiba replies dryly as he runs a reassuring hand through Nino's hair.
13.
They're arguing again and Aiba wants to pull his own hair out. As he watches Sho and Jun try to make their points without shouting, he wonders if this is what real pregnant women feel like all the time - only he's not a woman. Still, he's convinced it's not the hormones that make mothers-to-be irritable, but the continued fussing of the people around them. He wants to take a few of Jun's rings and smack them both upside the head.
His only escape from the turmoil is a bucket of the colonel's best he's got sitting in his lap, a fried chicken leg in each hand.
“Can I have some?” Nino asks as he lands on the cushions beside Aiba, making the bucket jostle in his lap. It's rare for Nino to ask for food (although it is free and that in itself could be a possible explanation) and Aiba isn't quite sure what to make of it. Nino hasn't said a word about his confession and Aiba wonders if the theory was forgotten altogether or if Nino simply doesn't remember that he'd drunkenly reported it to Aiba. Personally, he hopes for both.
That doesn't mean he is about to give up any of his precious chicken though. It's bad enough Ohno swiped a piece before he'd gone off to make-up.
It is his lifeline, his sanity, all wrapped up into 11 secret, special herbs and spices and he is hesitant to let it go. He's considering moving to Kentucky (wherever that is) so that he might live in a land filled to the brim with seasoning shakers and roaming chickens and all you have to do is pick one up and turn it in at the window to get a free bucket. Or at least that's how he imagines Kentucky to be. He doesn't know why his sudden craving for chicken is so pressing - and though he's always liked fried chicken, he's never quite liked it this much.
“I'm talking to you,” Nino makes a point of saying as he dips his hand into the container to pull out a wing. Aiba growls like a tiger, wrapping his arms around the bucket protectively, and all Nino can do is stare in a perplexed manner. “Don't be stingy just because you're ready to pop. Think about all that weight you're gonna have to drop after the baby comes out. I'm doing you a favor.”
Aiba doesn't see the weight. All he sees is a bucket of chicken in his lap and the grease stains he's wiped across the denim of his jeans.
“You're not bringing a camera into the delivery room,” Jun nearly shouts and suddenly the argument he's having with Sho overtakes the entire room. “Would you want to be filmed if you were in labor? Think about Aiba-chan's feelings.”
Aiba's stomach gurgles noisily and he hears it as a sign to eat more chicken.
“I don't see what the big deal is,” Sho counters. Both Aiba and Nino stare at the debating pair as though they're watching a tv drama. It's fun to watch how Sho's face turns red and how Jun's jaw juts out in frustration.
“What if the video got out? What if it was leaked? What would that do to Arashi?” says Jun. “That's not a risk we should be taking.”
“How is the video going to get out when it's just the five of us who are going to have a copy. This is the first of our children, Matsujun. It's a memory that should be captured on film.” Sho pleads as rationally as he can for the moment. “It's something precious.”
Aiba's stomach lurches and he wonders if maybe he's eaten too much.
It'd be a shame to waste the rest of the bucket though.
“Why in the world would we want to remember a sweaty, shouting Aiba? Don't we have enough concert footage for that?” Jun drily cracks a joke, his arms folded over his chest as he looks aimlessly at the ceiling. “You can film as much as you want to afterward. A movie about Aiba in pain is not my idea of a good time.”
“Says the Do-S,” Nino mutters around his chicken wing.
“He wouldn't be in pain if you'd agree to the epidural,” says Sho and he's already losing it.
“We've been over this a thousand times, Sho-san.” Jun's lips are pulled tight as though he really doesn't want to reiterate, but he does anyway. “The risks outweigh the benefits. It's better for him to do this naturally. It's what his body was made to do.”
Aiba doesn't even bother to argue; the breathing techniques he'd learned in lamaze class all those weeks ago help in quelling the growing discomfort in his intestines though. He pushes the chicken bucket into Nino's arms and lets out an audible groan, rubbing at the gurgling area. He thinks it might soon be time to visit the little boys room.
“I just don't think Masaki can handle that much pain.” Neither Sho nor Jun pay him any mind. “If you've read, mothers who are medicated through the birth have a much more rewarding experience. It'll allow him to save up some strength and rest before the pushing stage. It'll also allay any anxiety he might have during the birthing process. I've read it's not good to tense up during contractions.”
“I've read just as much, if not more than you,” Jun says indignantly amidst Sho's: I seriously doubt that. “Would you really risk the health of the child and parent just so there'll be no pain? Those drugs aren't good for the baby and there's a chance Aiba-chan's blood pressure could take a nosedive.”
“I am thinking about his health. His lung capacity isn't what it should be.”
“He'll be fine without it. That's what all those classes on breathing were about, right?”
Aiba burps into his hand and he can feel the indigestion building in his chest. Apparently fried chicken three meals a day for the past two, was not a good idea. He burps again as he moves a flattened palm over the surface of his stomach, pressed tightly under the soft fabric of his shirt. He's just about to excuse himself to the facilities when he feels a hand on his shoulder and a voiced “are you okay, Aiba-chan?” from Nino.
Jun and Sho turn abruptly to fix him with worried stares.
“I-I'm o-okay,” Aiba assures them as the indigestion makes its way up and he lets out a series of tiny burps. “I think I just ate too much chicken, is all. Maybe I should go to the bathroom?”
“I think you're in labor, Aiba-chan.” Jun says as he points to the damp spot on the couch between Aiba's legs. “I think your water broke.”
Aiba looks down in confusion. “No, Matsujun,” he says as he shakes his head. “That's where the bucket was sweating. The chicken was really hot when I brought it here and I haven't moved from this spot yet. It's just from the chicken.”
“Masaki, I know you're scared,” says Sho. “But lying about it isn't going to prolong anything.” He turns to Jun. “We never should have had that conversation around him. He's all freaked out, no doubt.”
“No, Sho-chan.” Aiba holds his hand against his stomach and he can feel the movement within. “I just ate a lot of really greasy chicken. You know what that does.”
“You can experiment on the effects of fried chicken and how it kickstarts labor later, Aiba-chan,” Jun argues and walks forward until he's close enough to grasp Aiba's arm. “Right now you're the one in labor though. We've got to get you to the hospital quickly.”
“You guys get him to the hospital.” Nino cuts in. “I'll go tell Oh-chan and the managers and we'll meet you there.”
“No, no.” Aiba is panicking now. His stomach is still queasy and the noise is growing louder and he really just needs to make it to the bathroom before he makes an even bigger mess of things. “We've got an episode of VS to film, don't we? We can't just let our fans down,” he argues because he knows of no other argument that will work at this point. “Let's just get through this episode and then we'll see how I feel.”
“No can do,” Sho says and takes his other arm. “Your bag is in my car. We'll take it.”
It's hot suddenly and Aiba is sure he's sweating - even more than the chicken. He's looking for a way out, so that he can run to a restroom, but both Sho and Jun have him by the arm and like psychics, they can probably tell he wants to make a run for it. “I just... I just gotta go before we go anywhere,” he says and it's nonsensical and he's trying so hard, but his tummy won't stop rumbling and he never wants to see another piece of fried chicken again. And he's pretty sure he doesn't to visit Kentucky anymore.
“Come on, Aiba-chan,” Jun says and they're both pulling his arms forward. “It'll all be over soon. I promise.”
“No, no, no, no, no,” Aiba chants over and over again and he's shaking his head pitifully. He's going mad; there's no baby, no pregnancy, no need for hospitals, no need for epidurals, no need for anything except a bathroom. “No, no, no.” He tries to pull away from their grasps, but they won't budge. “No, no, no, no, no.” He can feel the tears of desperation pooling in his eyes and the sharp pains that have overtaken his lower abdomen. It's like someone is plunging a knife into his gut and twisting it slowly before pulling out and doing the same in another spot. It's almost unbearable.
But then something happens and Aiba is falling forward, darkness pooling all around him.
The last thing he remembers is falling into Sho's arms.
14.
The first thing he sees when he wakes up is the bright light that spills in from the windows and it's all blurry and he's really wants nothing more than to go back to sleep. There are people in the room with him and he can hear them whispering over the sounds of beeps and boops and something that sounds like a heartbeat. Something is pinning his forefinger and he realizes that the steady beating belongs to him and that he's hooked up to a monitor in the sterile hospital room.
Somehow it seems like a fitting conclusion to this entire scenario, being back in the place it had begun. That is, until he notices the itching in his legs and arms and torso; he itches all over, he concedes, and wonders if fried chicken can cause an allergic reaction. It'd be a shame to have to give it up.
“Ngh,” he moans as he tries to sit up. The other occupants in the room notice and turn to stare. “How long have I been out for?” he asks the nearest person, Ohno.
“Hours, probably,” Ohno answers and Aiba figures that's the only answer he's going to receive from it. Aiba feels like he's been out for days and judging from the yawns he lets out every few seconds, he could go for another few.
“What happened?” he asks, noticing for the first time that Sho was the only one not to turn around. He stares at the slightly older man's back in question. It almost looks at though Sho has his arms full and Aiba wonders what he's holding, but the thought dies as little pinpricks work their way up his body. “And why am I itchy all over?”
“The doctors had to do a caesarian,” Jun offers slowly, coming to rest at the edge of Aiba's bed. “It's alright though. Everything turned out okay, so you shouldn't worry. Both you and the baby are perfectly fine. The doctor said you might experience an itchy sensation because of the narcotics used in the epidural.”
Baby? Aiba thinks. There can't really be a baby. It's what he'd been betting on all along - that the day would come and no baby would come out (because there was no place for a baby to come out) and Arashi would be sad. They'd cry and ask who would dare play such a cruel joke on them and Aiba would be there to keep them together and comfort them.
“They said it was because of a cephalopelvic distortion,” says Nino and Aiba can tell he's having trouble remembering just what the term is called. “It's where the baby is too large to fit through the mother's pelvis.”
“Is that right?” Aiba says groggily. His tone is dry and he's really in no mood to deal with all this now. “Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe I don't have the place for a baby to come through anyway? Y'know... because I'm not a woman?”
“Aiba-chan,” Ohno says comfortingly as he lays a hand on Aiba's arm. “Your body is made to do things like this... but sometimes it just doesn't happen the way you want it to. It shouldn't make you feel like any less of a man.” Aiba wonders if Ohno understands the irony of that comment at all. “All that matters is that the baby is healthy and alive and so is Aiba-chan.”
“Baby?” Aiba asks aloud as though he's only just been reminded of the fact.
“It's a boy,” Nino says and gestures to where Sho is standing. Slowly the rapper turns around and Aiba sees in his arms, a perfect tiny baby wrapped in a blue blanket and drinking from a small milk-filled bottle. “What are we going to call it, Aiba-chan?” Nino asks.
Aiba doesn't care what they call it, because it obviously isn't his and the thought to ask where they'd stolen a baby from crosses his mind. “You can call it whatever you want, since it's not mine,” he challenges, crossing his arms over his chest the best way he can with an IV hooked into the inside of his elbow. “I don't know where you guys got that baby from, but it most certainly did not come out of me.”
“Oh for goodness sake...” Jun mutters and runs a hand through his hair loosely. “Don't start this crap again. It's your baby. It came out of you and if you don't believe me, there's a huge gash in your stomach to prove it.”
“Is this what they call postpartum depression?” Nino wonders aloud.
“It's not post-whatever depression! Men can't have babies. It's a scientific fact that only women get pregnant, only women have babies, only women go through the pains of childbirth.” Aiba strains his voice as his eyes water in frustration. “This is all really cruel and I'm seriously tired of it, guys.”
“I think Masaki just needs to hold him and he'll see how wonderful it all is,” Sho says and his voice is soft and understanding. “You'll have to be calm though, since babies can sense things like that.”
Aiba shakes his head rapidly in warning. There are tears moving down his face as Sho comes closer and Aiba doesn't know what to do anymore. Soon the baby is placed in his arms and he has no choice except to hold it or let it fall. Aiba isn't one to mistreat any living being, whether it's his own or not, so he gingerly accepts the tiny bundle into both his arms, careful of the wires hooked into him.
The baby blinks sleepily up at him with warm brown eyes and a lazy expression. It hasn't stopped making a suckling motion with its mouth, though the bottle has been removed. Aiba is awed by it all. He hasn't held a baby so small since he was four and being introduced to his little brother for the very first time. It feels so very natural and he thinks that he might not mind having a child of his own (one that is really his) someday.
“Didn't I tell you?” Sho asks and the group gathers around Aiba's bed to watch on like proud papas. “What are we going to call it?”
Aiba can't answer. He's too transfixed on the baby - hypnotized as he stares at it and finds (or so he thinks) some of his own features staring back. It's not possible though - for this child to be his. He can feel their eyes on him, peering down as they wait for an answer, but he simply can't give them one.
“Masaki?” Sho asks.
“Masaki?” They all continue to repeat.
“Masaki?” He feels weak and confused and suddenly the room starts to go dark again.
Everything is different now.
15.
“Masaki?” Someone is shaking his shoulder and Aiba fights against the pull of their voice, wanting nothing more than to stay asleep. He's forced through into consciousness though and as he opens his eyes, he stares madly about the room, looking back and forth as though trying to find something familiar. His gaze locks onto Sho.
“Thank goodness you're awake,” Sho says and the relief is apparent on his face.
“What happened Sho-chan?” Aiba asks frantically. “Where's the baby?”
“Baby?” Sho asks and his eyebrows raise a fraction. Something seems off to Aiba too and he looks down to find his own street clothes - the same ones he'd been wearing when he found out he was (supposedly) pregnant. The last thing he remembers being in though, was a hospital gown. “There's no baby here, Masaki. Should there be?” Sho continues worriedly. “The doctor was in just a bit ago. He says you're just a bit malnourished... from food poisoning, maybe?”
“Where are the others?” Aiba asks abruptly.
“They stayed behind to wrap up the shoot. They've got two cardboard cut outs of us taking our places until you get better,” Sho explains and he presses a hand to Aiba's forehead. “You're not hot anymore. You didn't have a fever when we brought you in, but you developed one somehow while you were sleeping.”
Aiba nods his head in understanding. "Sho-chan..."
"Yeah?" Sho asks as he backs up, taking the chair beside Aiba's bed once again. He looks as though he isn't sure whether he should be sitting or rushing off to find the doctor again.
"You know those really bad stories girls sometimes write about us online?" Aiba says and his stomach feels really funny as the entire episode washes over his brain like a really bad memory.
Sho nods. "Yeah?"
"I think I just had a nightmare."