I seem to always want what I can't have. Which is not to say that I want it because I can't have it. I can't have it because I want it. So maybe I just should have said I can't have what I want. Hopefully this changes.

Hope

We still dance in my outrageously beautiful Busby Berkeley dreams.

Went to Clusterf**ck last night. Danced with some girl for awhile before she realized I was not her gay friend. Then we danced some more. Then her man friend came over and called me a nerdy faggot. Overall a pretty good night.

So I managed to get all A's this semester despite doubts over a few of them. One teacher even emailed me to tell me that "despite a not-so-stellar final", I did very well and wanted to know if I could do research for him. I've been having a pretty hard time lately, so this cheered me up. So I'm very much looking forward to next semester.

I feel like I'm going through the most cliche moments of my entire life. Maybe I just go through things at a different pace than everyone else. I'm now living teen angst at 21 years old. I had a legitimately existential mindset for the first time the other day as well. I felt like the protagonist in the stranger. See ( Read more... )

fml

Do you ever have dreams where you have a strong emotional connection with someone, only to forget when you wake? And then when you meet the person from your dream you feel the emotion and don't know from where it came?

Man I hate that

The cactus where your heart should be has lovely little flowers
so though it's always pricking me my ardor never sours

The cactus where your heart once was has power to rend and flay
I stick because I'm stuck, because I just can't tear myself away

I don't feel so well