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Life is solid, I'm so happy and hopeful. And apparently helpless as well, which I never thought I would find so endearing. No internet for a while, I'm really into it for the most part.

Phew, pace yourself.

UGHHHH WHY DIDN'T I GO TO BELLATOR IN DAYTON ON FRIDAY!?!?! I definitely missed the submission of the year and the biggest upset in the tournament so far. Can you say 'awesome upside down triangle technical submission'? This dude's face turns blue, he didn't even realize he was in danger until it was too late.

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Life has been absolutely bizarre lately. My Mom's boyfriend passed away earlier this week, I'll be moving into her house with my current roommates and taking over her mortgage by the end of the month to give her some financial relief. She's going to live with family until she can get situated and find a place of her own, or maybe a place with her ( Read more... )

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I had a perplexing dream last night. I was riding around in a time traveling elevator, when it opens into a hotel room with just me and a woman who strikingly resembles Jackie O. She begins to strip naked, I become somewhat lucid and we fornicate. I get back into the elevator, we're supposed to catch a broadway show, and then I travel through ( Read more... )

My neighbor was sitting in his truck in our driveway, laying on the horn at 4:30 in the motherfucking morning. I put up with it for a minute or two, threw on my shoes, and stomped my way outside. He was visibly intoxicated, sitting with the engine on listening to his iPod. He immediately starts telling me he couldn't hear the horn because he was ( Read more... )

Things that have been amusing me:
- Because everything is funnier in the butt.
- This makes me laugh until I pee almost.
- Improv Everywhere fucking rules.

And finally:
- I'M ON A BOAT!

(Also watch the last two in HD, everything is better in HD. Except porn.)