I think it happens every once in a while that this bubbles up from the surface. I'm constantly trying to keep the surface smooth and fight it, but when things become as overwhelming as they have been lately the need, nay the addiction, of it comes back. I haven't cut in years, but when things get to this place where I am raging and near a breaking ( Read more... )

So here I am with a freakin Eharm membership with shit tons of matches nearly every day and yet I am less then empressed with almost all of them. So after weeks of looking through profiles I suddenly realize half of the problem is that I have only ever truly, heart breakingly, loved one person romantically out of all my relationships.....and I'm ( Read more... )

Sometimes I am exceedingly happy to have an online outlet, albeit an old one, to get all the super silly overly indulgent thoughts out of my brain to somewhere else. It's like a mental scrubbing. I can put all the weird, unadulterated truth somewhere hardly ever seen and I immediately feel better. Some days I read old posts and laugh at my own ( Read more... )

I'm having a really hard time right now. I feel that dam about to break. That all consuming torrent threatens everything and yet I want to drown in it all. My stress level is through the roof and yet I'm trying to hold it altogether. I feel so responsible for all the people and all the creatures in my life. I feel like I have to remain the port in ( Read more... )

So over the past few months I have really felt my life has been moving forward towards a really positive and transformative path. It started with my desire to meet some new people. I suddenly had this I really need a new friend thought. So despite my kind of weird social anxiety I went on Meetup looking for any new groups that were actually having ( Read more... )

Why must we always be torn in two? Why is being balanced and whole such a struggle?! Is our human-ness also our achilles heel? I find myself contemplating the question of moving. It seems so simple in some ways like sure you liked it here or there so why not just plan and go. It isn't that simple this time. Not now that I have an entire household ( Read more... )

So I have once again had to search out a therapist. Why did this occur you might wonder? Well I might wonder that too. I mean do I really have that much stress in my life? It doesn't seem that way most of the time, but then maybe I just don't see it because of my desire to be happy and ignorant of the building torrent in the background of my my ( Read more... )

Yay! I awaited the FedEx guy from 8am on for my little gecko. Delivery was supposed to be by 10:30 am and wouldn't you know it 10:30 was when I heard the knock on the door. I opened the door and there on the mat was the box from Garrick DeMeyer. I took it to the kitchen and started opening it to which my brother asked what it was that had been so ( Read more... )

So for some reason that is beyond my understanding I have fallen totally in love with my little gecko girl. So much so I am expecting yet another on Thursday morning. A cream on cream colored female I bought from a breeder. I feel like such the enthusiast suddenly. I've been reading forums, bought what is the equivalent of a textbook on crested ( Read more... )

Not rodeo as in cowboys, but as in Rodeo Drive because after all she is such a fashionable pretty girl! More pictures later hopefully I just flashed a few off when I got her home. She's three years old and a yellow and red flame so I was told:-)


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