So so lonely

[raining_cloud]

Even among a large group of people, I am so incredibly lonely, and I dread even going to lunch because that means I will have to be alone for real. While I used to enjoy moments of solitude, now I face them with intense fear. And I can't help but think how incredibly unfair it is that this Boone-union is going to happen without me. It seems so

Comments

[dementedquaker]

I love you. Loneliness is really hard. Know that you are loved.

I'd come be with you if I could.

[raining_cloud]

I love you too, Claire. You are a true friend and I have taken you for granted for too many years now.

Interestingly enough, I had actually already looked into what it might cost me to take a trip up to Boston. Unfortunately it's quite a bit - plane ticket prices are really on the rise, and there are no trains that run through Knoxville. At some point, though, I will need to see you. I will find a way, cause I miss you a whole lot and you've been such a great friend to me. I am so incredibly grateful

[defygravity0915]

do you have an Ipod? Make a new playlist with empowering songs and listen to that at lunch? Buy a new book that makes you feel excited to read it and bring it to lunch? Feeling alone in the crowd is the hardest thing to deal with...maybe just bring a journal and write about it during lunch. The thing I find is when my emotions/brain are in turmoil the best thing to do is face these emotions honestly and not judge yourself for feeling them realize that you might feel awful/lonely/angry whatever and see if you can exist with that emotion without it taking over. Feel it and let it move through you.

It feels like forever, but eventually it will get better. I am so sorry I can't be there in person :(, but I know you have fabulous people around you who can be there for you.

[raining_cloud]

Surprisingly lunch wasn't all that bad. I usually have a book with me for lunch and enjoy spending that time reading and relaxing. I was able to do this without feeling so terribly lonely, which is really great. I'm hoping my book(s) can act as a good escape for a while now. I really appreciate the advice and encouragement. You are so great. I'm glad you're having such a good time in NZ:)

[jack0falltrades]

I know you don't want to hear from me right now, but come to Boone. You deserve it far more than I do, and I can disappear for a few days.
It's an option that I hope you take.

[raining_cloud]

I'm glad you spoke up and offered me this, and I will jump at the opportunity with more vigor than I have ever exerted before. Does this mean that you will disappear from the house for the weekend so I don't have to spend the money for a hotel room (which may not be available anyway because of people moving in)?

[jack0falltrades]

That's what I intended. I forget what days this shingig is supposed to happen on, but my mom wants me home saturday night to care for the dogs, so I can definitely be gone then, and any other night, really.

[raining_cloud]

I'll be in Friday night and won't leave until Sunday evening. I'd appreciate it if you would disappear for that span of time.