I'm being erased by time along with everything else. The universe is a universe of physics that produced matter. We're so impossibly small and insignificant. I'm not on drugs. I'm just really sad after looking at some pictures of my dead cat ( Read more... )

I am painfully jealous of my friend. I've known him almost exclusively on the internet since I was 13. I'm 26 now... He was a very significant friend of mine and I reckon I was important to him, too. But now that we have things like facebook in our world, it's very easy to glimpse into a person's life. I see pictures of him with all of his ( Read more... )

I really, really loathe some aspects of collectivism.  I absolutely hate familial obligations of an insignificant nature.  "Let's go have dinner with [person I don't know who has some relation to the rest of the family].  You'll be really bored and uncomfortable the whole time BUT AT LEAST EVERYONE WON'T HAVE TO TAKE THEIR MASKS OFF."  God forbid ( Read more... )

I'm so tired of unreliable roommates.  I've been shafted for three years now.  I can't afford tuition for school anymore.  I'm having trouble making rent because I also pay the bills and food and gas (especially now that I live about 13 miles away from work and my only car is a V8).

I'm in quite a lot of debt with student loans, too.  I could pay ( Read more... )

So I wrote some, but I'm actually not going to share it anytime soon.  It's not worthy.  I spent 30 minutes on it and it's the only reason I got up from the couch and staring at the ceiling hating myself, but it still doesn't fully communicate what I felt.  Also, it's about my cat.  I had taken a nap on a donor bed at work because I was two hours ( Read more... )

Sometimes, I wish I were dead.

Being nice to people makes life incredibly fucking difficult.  No wonder there's not much kindness in the world.  I'm about ready to be selfish too, but I can't.  There's no other option right now ( Read more... )

I'm all insecure about myself now.  And the self-hatred.  It's back too.

Her words don't mean as much anymore...

She wanted a second chance, so I'm trying again.

Whenever I think about that poem he wrote where he quoted something she said, I get disturbed and even a little sick.  How could she have let that happen after saying all those wonderful things about me?  After promising me she would never do that?

I'm numb.

Still riddled with sensations of surrealism.  Every time I step back and observe the others around me interacting, I'm hit with the realization that I'm not really a part of it.  This place is not my home and it will never be my home because I never grew up with it.  You can't use pieces from another puzzle and make them fit.  (Additionally, my ( Read more... )