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Today as I was walking over the foot-bridge to the student center, I passed by a guy and a girl coming from the other direction. The girl was holding a bundle that looked SUSPICIOUSLY like a dead, full-term, newborn baby wrapped in a clear plastic bag with a newspaper laid on top of it as if to obscure it from view ( Read more... )

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Holy Herrington! I just found the word "fuck" in a NORTON ANTHOLOGY! And I don't mean the sort of "fuck" that is scrawled inside the back cover by some irate student. I mean PRINTED. In the LITERATURE ( Read more... )

I love that my Herbal Essences shampoo smells like Gummi Bears. Mmmm.

So I emailed the Hall Director about that bogus charge for not turning in my keys over the break, and she basically said (in professionalese) "Too bad for you. Fork over the money, you simple bitch."

So I forked over the money:


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To the driver of the shitty little white subcompact that backed into my green Honda Civic in the Walmart parking lot today and drove away while I was in the store:  I may not have your license plate number, but your car is so distinctive in its shittiness that when I see you around campus or around town, I will know it is you.  And you won't like

I fucking hate motherfucking Mondays. Fuck ( Read more... )

I was really stressing out about this stupid "Skunks on a Train" spoof trailer I agreed to make for my Oral Comm group. The footage we filmed was trapped in an outdated Mac, and I couldn't make iMovie import the additional clips I needed off the internet. AND I couldn't get the footage off the Mac to play on my laptop either, plus on top of all ( Read more... )