so broken and alone...i think it's time i move back to california...even if this is the reverse of what may be right for me and might hurt even more. i just feel so hopeless and not good enough, maybe i'll never be good enough. i guess i won't know. i hate this feeling...blahhhhhh oh well whatever

A place to crash, I got you ( Read more... )

so sammy went on a date kind of thing with a girl last night. i am so mixed with emotions it's driving me mad. like my first thought was relief cause he did it first...so i won't feel bad if i go on a date. then sad cause yeah it's basically over, and happy cause i can finally move on...it's like i'm feeling them all at the same time it's kind of ( Read more... )

life...just trying to figure out where i really fit in...understand the reasons for things, cause i'm constantly confused by mine and others actions.

So because of my awesome friend's I ended up having a pretty amazing birthday...I got to go to California in the end. My trip might have been to long, not because I was tired of being there, but because leaving was sooo hard. But happy thoughts ( Read more... )

<3 2650

i can't wait for my brithday week!!!!!!!!! i miss everyone so much, and i have honestly the best friends anyone could ever ask for. I love them all sooo freaking much! and I can't wait to be reunited with everyone

yep and with never a fail, no date. but it's cool, i've accepted that it wasn't going to happen this year...last year the guy i was hooking up with gave me a yellow rose. it was kind of cute...he gave one to my big sis too, so it was a friend's thing. Still i liked having a rose. maybe I'll go and buy a rose this year. Also, i should buy a card ( Read more... )

as much as I keep saying 2011 is going to be good...and it has been good so far, even for my mess ups...my birthday is going to suck, and i am really kind of home sick. Granted, i don't even know where or what my home is, but i home sick

seriously sucks sometimes...all i want to do is be in california for my birthday, and it's not going to happen. why? because we lack enough money to do so. With my brothers wedding in march, and my other brother graduation at the end of april or may, i can't go to california for my birthday. I'll still get to go for my brother's graduation, but i ( Read more... )

well I can't find my real journal so I am sort of using this...not sure if it will get posted in the end or not...the only person who reads this is katie, so I'm not sure if I want to post this or not yet. I guess we'll find out at the end, it will be a surprise for um, I guess no one, cause if you are reading this then it got posted. confusing ( Read more... )