Today I didn't watch the Superbowl. Back when I was an advertising major I had to watch it every year for homework and critique all the commercials. That was pretty ideal. I had a valid excuse to abandon my indie credentials and behave like a typical male moron, which, let's face it, is necessary like the occasional hour-long warm bath. Instead ( Read more... )

1. Build a lifesize statue of a ladybug out of earwax and sell it on eBay for at least $3.99 plus shipping ( Read more... )

Linda & The Clone, part 15:

1. Coke at a restaurant is better than Coke from a can (unless the restaurant gives you a can, of course)? Is it the ice ( Read more... )

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Has anyone else on the planet besides me noticed that KFC's theme song is a short instrumental tidbit of "Sweet Home Alabama"? Not only do I find that particular song reprehensible in both sentiment and musicality, but it is about ALABAMA. KFC originally stood for KENTUCKY Fried Chicken. I understand the the parent company has officially changed ( Read more... )

What do you call someone who studies meteors? Don't say meteorologist. Come on now, that is someone who reports and forecasts the weather. So what the hell could it be? An asteroidologist? Somehow I doubt this. I think asteroids and meteors are considered wildly different types of space objects. An asteroidologist would probably punch you in ( Read more... )

I have invented a new concept: Livejournal Up-dating. No, not what I am doing now. That has already been invented. This is a Livejournal update about "Livejournal Up-Dating". Livejournal Up-Dating is when you make a romantic connection on Livejournal with someone from a higher social caste than yourself. In my case, it would be with a doctor, ( Read more... )

I think I can only write mid-tempo American songs with heartfelt umph a la Tom Petty anymore. Its frustrating as all hell. I feel like a background character in Footloose, playing at Farm Aid, driving my beat up T-Bird through a cornfield to a keg party wearing a bandana (not on my head). I guess I should just release a tape called the Power of ( Read more... )

This girl came up to my line at work just now with the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. I was captivated and nervous like they endowed with superpowers. Not to read my mind but to control me with a soft clear ray, like that X-Man but not destructive. Anyways, upon further inspection I realised it wasn't her eyes, but her eyelashes and ( Read more... )