No one can help me. NO ONE! I find it hard to believe that these facilities cant take on ONE person who cant pay? Really, get real. I mean I want treatment, some of the people in those centers dont, give me their spot dammit, I just want to give up.

I am so very angry. All I want is some help. Is that so bad? WHY WHY WHY will no one help me. Please someone help me. PLEASE! I am so desperate. I wish that I could pay for treatment, I wish that I was rch, but I am not. So I need help. Why is it so hard to just give someone some help. HUH! I just feel like no matter what I do I am screwed over, ( Read more... )

Here I sit. Crying my eyes out at a computer like its going to make this world a better place. I jsut am so frustrated. My mom said. I shouldnt go to treatment I have responsibilities, I have a daughter. NO SHIT! Shes one of the reasons that I want to go. I apply for medicaid on Tuesday, but I doubt that I will be approved. If I am approved then I ( Read more... )

I cant give up! I wont give up! Why is everything so damn expensive. New Yorks research program said I wasnt eligible, and now I wait on Mercy Ministries which is free, but very bible based, and you have to stay for 6 months. SHIT! I want this so bad, why is it so hard to get help? I hate this!

I just wish I was rich

How about this. Two entries in one day. I am headed home with a list of phone numbers for treatment centers. I have to find a way to get help. I cant keep living like this. Wish me luck

You know dammit, why cant I be happy. I never did anything to deserve to be this fucking sad ( Read more... )

I feel like giving up. I feel like giving in. I feel like. well I dont think I feel at all. Who is going to stop me from this neverending fall. Its almost over, but it will never end.

I am falling so fast, I am not sure if there is a bottom. Depression is like that though. It makes you think its hopeless, endless, but its not.

WHY me? WHY do I have to go through this. I cut today. Thats all I am willing to do. I know whats important. But I want to pretend that its not.

I guess I can say that I am a shit. That is all there is to it.

I wish that I could be happy, but I always seem to be so so sad.

I thought I was going to kill myself the other day. And no one would have cared. But I am not brave enough.

Screw it.

I am not the only person in the world appearantly. HA! As if I didnt know this. My husband said to me today that I need to grow up alot of people have it worse then me. Well sure, but alot have it better. Including him. I wish it was over.