Why does it seem that I am most conscious, most comfortable, most aware when I am experiencing emotional lament…? I can’t remember how to articulate my emotions so clearly when I’m happy. Happy is so alien to me. Real, sincere happy. What the hell is that…? I know pleasure. I know fun. But happy..? When I enter the word “happy” into the search ( Read more... )

Friday September 9th, 2009

When we were first dating, I remember a time… I think we were in the shower. I said something like, “I’m not yet comfortable in this relationship.” This seemed to surprise you. But it was true, at the time. I was nervous and everything was new. You are a very strange and unique person. I needed some time and experience ( Read more... )

Thursday August 6th, 2009
This is certainly not the first time in my life that I've pondered the idea of having a family. Being a mother and so on. This is, however, the first time in my life that I have ever even come close to choosing a suitable mate with which to have children. I've said it before and I'll say it again that ultimately, I've got ( Read more... )

Wednesday July 15th, 2009

"I am beautiful, I am bountiful, I am blissful."

Soft

You are so soft.

Soft in thought,
Soft in feeling,
Soft in taste,
And soft to the touch.

Soft expression on your face...
Soft voice on my ears.
Soft on my eyes...

When you pet me,
Your hands are so soft.
My consciousness goes soft.

When I look at you,
Shades of color are so soft.
My ( Read more... )

Wednesday July 8th, 2009 Jack's Bagels

I am the happiest kitty in Meow Town! Kevin's birthday is in a little over a week. I am excited to give him his gifts... to go to Disneyland and to spend another good day with him...

Thursday July 9th, 2009 pet shop

"You'd have to do something pretty fucked up to piss me off with snuggles!"

"Sigh... I'll try not ( Read more... )

May 1st, 2009 Friday ( Read more... )

June 4th, 2009 Thursday bus ride

Tonight, Yogurt Land!
Sunday, Disneyland!
On June 2nd, it had been six months since I asked Kevin out.
Brian has a new kitten. I want a kitten!
Life is like a really good movie... cue iPod's twelve minute classical track. Hah.
Man on bus drenched in urine...
Look out bus window... Jack's Bagels... Hi, yum yums.
All of my ( Read more... )

I don't quite feel "myself," these days. I have decided, for the moment, that it's most likely related to a few specific scenarios ( Read more... )

Thoughts run through my head that seem noteworthy. Usually, I groan and tell myself that I'll remember them in the morning and write them down and elaborate on them then. Of course, I seem to forget the ideas by morning. So, last night, I got up and grabbed a pen and a notepad. Here is my elaboration on what I wrote down...

I think perhaps that I've ( Read more... )

I realized something special today while on one of my deep-thoughtful bus rides... I was thinking about how you are different from everyone else in specific ways that are very important to me. The way that you perceive things as, in my opinion, is very pure, very healthy and natural. As though your perspective has not been jaded or corrupt by the ( Read more... )