Begging for zero

[ravenafterdark]

I am super pissed off. At myself mostly, but at some stupid ass people too. I am just so mother fucking frustrated, I cant even believe it. Why the fuck am I like this? I always feel like whomever i'm with can't wait to leave me behind. I am tired of(and also admittedly want) escapism. I am tired of people who can only handle fun and smiles and

Comments

[scarlettbegonia]

it's sad how the older you become, the more censored you become. it frustrates me to no end.

i guess it's easier to live on egg shells than walk in the goop? Heh.

[ravenafterdark]

yeah, just not wiser to do so. I made a conscious decision at some point to make myself less vulnerable, i had thought that was over a long time ago, but instead its way worse than i had ever thought. But even in the last day i have taken steps towards change, i hope i can keep it up. But yes i hate the everyday censorship, it truly is maddening. EVERYBODY LIVE! I'm a playful girl, and most people look at me like i'm nuts. But youre all invited to play too! :)

[vagabondsoul_ix]

I don't know you, and I won't pretend to, I'm just a person who likes to talk to much, but a word of advice from someone who's been to both ends of the spectrum.

There was a time in my life when I was hurt, and I resolved to push everyone, and everything that could hurt me away. I believed that by avoiding the things in my life that I didn't want to see, that I would make myself a happier person. But the truth of the matter is that by eliminating the abyssmal lows of my existance, I also dulled myself to the narcotic highs that come with them. You have to take the good with the bad, that's just the way it goes.

But then what do I know, I'm just some random guy right?

[ravenafterdark]

thankyou for commenting, and sharing, and being true. I hope you are just as forthcoming with all the people in your life, so that everyone around you can learn from what you have lived, and hopefully they, in turn, will teach others(to be open if nothing else). I guess I just dont know what to do ,at the moment, with my "denial equals fun" chaps. I guess there really isnt anything to do, I just miss the beauty and core of them. And am trying to keep myself from complying too much and being artificial with them. thank you again for commenting, and no, youre not just some random guy. Youre you. hi you, I'm jess.