I've been thinking (somthing I do way to often) about... somthing. It's one of my... um... I don't know what they are... but I make a story of myself and see how I would REALY handle it. Not on the outside, but on the inside. This one is, I have a disease. The whole left side of my body is failling me. I only have a certain amount of time to live. ( Read more... )

I just finished reading my book. It was called "Lioness Rampant" and it was the fourth and lasy book in a great series. But, Tamora Pierce, who os the author, id just to good. This is like the fith time I've read that particular siries and it still makes me depressed at the end. (Wich is sctualy a good thing) It means that the author is realy good ( Read more... )

*sigh* feeling depressed for no aparent reason... again. Nothing changes, I have problems, but they are the same every time they come up, wich make no sence. I've been having alot of trouble expressing myself. At first, it was me trying to talk to my mom about one of my morbid philosophical ways of looking at things, but now I can't even voive a ( Read more... )

...no comment...

The only reason I live is beacause of unbroken promises.

I slipped up and cut last night. It's been a while... about 2.5 months. Not to bad. But what realy scares me is that I wasn't scared. There was blood everywhere, but I didn't care. And now, I think that it might be infected. I'm so stupid. I use a rusty blade. It's about a inch wide and two long. It's prety deep, but I can't say, I'm not going to ( Read more... )

I can't belive me! Today is my mom's birthday, and I just now told her happy birthday. She was dropping all these hints trying to tell me when I knew, and when I told her "happy birthday" she made me feel guilty. She said, "Whew, everybody;my sisters my brothers; sent me birthday wishes. Eveybody exept Dymond." Gawd I feel like a jerk! After she ( Read more... )

I should be happy, but I'm not. What else is new? I am contemplating on how I want to kill myself. I'm scaring myself with my own thoughts. I want to go to sleep, and never wake up. This mental pain is so much worse than cutting. I have no one that is not virtual to be with me. I can't talk to my mom. It's not that she would freak out or anything, ( Read more... )