I don't want to go back anymore. It's nice to remember but I like it here. The past few days I've been feeling really sedated... and it's nice to just sit back for once. It seems so short lived, though, I'm definitely going to go out job hunting tomorrow. I can't sit around much longer or everything will have to be postponed again and it is ( Read more... )

I feel tense, but the weakness that I've been having is starting to become the opposite of what it was, due to my grueling effort not to get sucked in again. I write more when I'm upset, I guess I think it makes it easier for me to pull apart how I'm feeling but I usually just end up bitching and feeling sorry for myself. I feel like I did a lot ( Read more... )

I guess I already crossed the line, I wonder if it's even salvageable. I had to pick it to pieces. Oh, Sondra, whenever will you learn to keep yourself? I hurt a lot. I haven't been able to sleep too well. I don't know what's going on with me.. I'd say "oh pms" but no, not this time. I guess I am probably just upset because I am impatient ( Read more... )

It's really starting out that's hard, but once I'm gone all I need to do is feed myself a little at a time and I'll never come back. Once I'm to a point I'm so far gone that stopping doesn't even seem like an option ( Read more... )

All this time I've been trying to die. The fact that I can't is probably the only major thing I've got left that makes me special.
oi

So I had a pretty good day until I got home. I will deal with it, though, just like always. My room is all clean, I got an interview at blimpies. I heard from someone I met in Arizona, who I didn't really care to give much of a chance to when I met them because I was too heartbroken... So I hope to attempt to get to know them in less of a "I'm ( Read more... )

I have been running. I ran tonight, exercising can make me feel so clear headed... it's like everything is just right. Being unemployed is okay, I will work it out... Sleeping alone isn't so bad. Even though everything is so scattered, I know it will turn out the way I need it to right when I least expect it... Just like it always does. Just ( Read more... )

?sruoy em llet uoy t'now won,enim s'ereh

It feels nice to do.

lol?

So, there's this thing.. and that other thing... and a little of you, and a little of me.. and them, and that other one. Lots of food, new job. They drop like flies, all of them. There are just so many, though, that sometimes I don't even see the goddamn difference. Everything is exactly the same, every single fucking day. Day after day after ( Read more... )