WHY THE FUCK CAN'T I JUST COME HERE AND WRITE WHATS IN MY FUCKING HEAD ( Read more... )

Tonight marks the end of an era so to speak. Well yesterday night I guess. I needed a night to think over what I wanted to say even though still I'm not sure. October of 2008 my life changed as many already know. Our move across the country. In fact it changed many lives. Though most for the worse, when I think about it. I left my mother, ( Read more... )

But yet, when it comes to you I'm nothing. I tried for over a year to be your everything and I was invisible. We shared a home, sometimes a bed. But we couldn't even share a life. You were my best friend and one day I wake up and I'm married to some stranger. Nothing feels the same. I was lonely and dying inside, so I made a new friend and you were ( Read more... )

So another update. Sorry I've been doing this by hand cause well it's easier. Some times my pen just moves better. :D Well the holidays are coming and fast. I'm happy and lonely at the same time. I miss my Grma so much. But I have to accept that I'll never spend another holiday with her. As it is she's living on borrowed time that could be over at ( Read more... )

So if I haven't gotten to ya'll personally.. I did indeed get my apartment. It took a few extra weeks to actually get into the apartment. But As of Sept 17th, I Jordona have my very own place. My name on everything. No one helped me get this. It's all my hard work and perseverance and here I'm sitting right now in my living room watching my beloved ( Read more... )

So it's been nearly a week since I wrote last and I want to try and write more often.. SO I'm failing at that.. But meh.. at least I do find time to write at least once a week. I don't know some days I just feel the need to write and others I just don't.. However I did toy with the idea of writing in an actual like paper journal. I was curious if ( Read more... )

You know everything is finally going right. I've worked four days this week. I'm going to be getting paid and finally getting on with my life making life get back to where I need it to be. Tony and I still plan on moving in together.. By September.. I have to make sure to save up money so I can make sure to be able pay for child care when I move. ( Read more... )

Today I woke up at 7:59 this morning to a text message that said "Happy Mother's Day Love ( Read more... )

I've been doing a lot of struggling with who I am ( Read more... )

You know I hate how some days I feel great and happy as long as I'm around those who feel the same. But there is always that underlying feeling of a deep sadness. A blackness inside me that seems to peek in at the corners of my life as if to always remind me that it's there. It pulls at my heart and my strength. I feel my will folding underneath ( Read more... )