Words are hard to find...

[eva_belmort]

How do you tell someone that you're a cutter? That the few faded scars visible on your wrist are the tip of the proverbial iceberg, that some days the only way to calm your spiralling thoughts is to drag a blade across your skin until everything slows with steady drip of blood

Comments

[peppysgirl]

Are you currently cutting or was it a past thing

[eva_belmort]

I'm still currently cutting, which makes it harder.

It's... not something I'm proud of, no, and I understand that it isn't the healthiest coping mechanism, but it's one that works for me, and I'm unlikely to stop anytime soon. (Going by my family, the other option is becoming an alcoholic...)

I really appreciate the reassurances, since, as I said, never done this before, and things are always worse when you feel alone. I'm glad you've had such good experiences with people! But really, if I don't and can't talk about cutting then it seems a lot worse than it is, so I'm definitely going to try again. Thank you so much!

[peppysgirl]

The one thing that may come up is there is a good chance said person will want you to quit, or at least try to do it less often.

If it's something they've never done, be prepared to explain why it works for you. If you can't, just say that, but they will probably ask if they don't understand it.

I'm glad it helped :) I won't lie - it's scary as hell everytime I've had to do it. And you're right. If you can't even talk about it, it does make it seem much worse than it is. Good luck! I hope it goes well :)

[eva_belmort]

I'm cutting a lot less often than I used to these days, though I'm not ready to quit just yet, so I'll have to explain that, too. Thanks again!

[witchkatt]

I just let the question come up on its own. All my friends have seen my scars and know where they're from, as there's a ton of them, but in your case it's thankfully not as obvious. If you want to make it a point to tell them then feel free to do so- you could start a conversation about self injurers in general to get the feel for how this person is going to react, and then say that you're one if you feel comfortable doing so. I like explaining my neurosis first before telling people that's what I am because that way I'm sure they've taken the time to understand.

[eva_belmort]

Yeah, I haven't cut anywhere normally-visible in over five years. Which makes it a lot easier to not have to talk about things, and since I'm generally pretty cheerful in public it's just not something people ever assume. But some days? I really wish it was obvious, so that I wouldn't have to worry about people reacting after they've gotten to know me. That sounds like a good plan, though, to sound people out and try to make sure they understand the theory before making it personal, so I'll definitely see if that works. Thank you for your help!

[witchkatt]

No problemo! <3 And best of luck.

[eva_belmort]

Hey, that's a very valid point. I know enough people who use relationships as crutches instead of dealing with their problems that I'd never want to do that to myself, and it's a pretty horrible thing to do to somebody you supposedly like, too.

I know I have issues, but I'm a lot better than I was; I'm still a work in progress, is all. As to the relationship making things worse, we're still basically 'friends with potential' at this point. So I'm planning to be honest, and explain that I've got some problems, and see how that works out. If we can't even be friends afterwards, well, I'll be upset, and I might get worse for a while. But don't worry, I'm not the type to do anything drastic, and I'd like to try, at least.

I am glad that you don't need to cut yourself anymore, and that you're still positive years later; it's very hopeful, and thank you for your good wishes!