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Due to recent circumstances, this journal has become friends only. If you know me from a community just add me, and if I know you from somewhere else shoot me a message or comment on this post and I'll add you :) -
Rush
I'd been feeling numb for so long now, I swear I'd forgotten how to feel. That turned out to be wrong, when I check on Kaiden and see "Zoey, you make me the happiest person in the world! Today was epic with you! :)" All of a sudden I got so fucking pissed. I don't know if it was at her, or him, or myself, or what, but it felt like my blood was ( Read more... ) -
One year and new interest?
One year ago is the day I met Kaiden. This is kind of shitty, because just last year everything was becoming more awesome by the day. Now I live in constant fear of seeing him. I haven't yet, but I did see one of his friends earlier (she's like 6 feet tall, so hard to miss). And though I have yet to see him, I could also see him tomorrow. I'll ( Read more... ) -
Seriously
Somehow I think this would be easier if he wasn't so awesome. Like really. Why can't he just transform into a total douche so I can stop feeling thus way? He did a body suspension recently and just put up a picture. My. Fucking. God. That really did not help.
And why can't his sort-of-girlfriend-thing have to move to India or some shit? That would ( Read more... ) -
Dreams
With rare exceptions, people have dreams and aspirations. Whether from a young age or not, whether they change or not, and whether they are achieved or not. They are usually based on values or interests, and can either be centered around a path, or an end. For example, some people know they want to major in x for university, regardless of where it ( Read more... ) -
Rambling about Kaiden
My one job ends tomorrow, I'll be getting my textbooks this weekend, and classes start in less then a month. With all this madness happening, I would think I'd be distracted enough to be okay. But I'm not. It just reminds me of the beginning of last year, and all the good things that came of it, that won't come this year. I don't know if I'll ever ( Read more... ) -
Racquet
So I come into work today, and everything's normal. It's my last sunday for the summer, so I'm planning to try to make it a good one. Then apparently my 'friend' dropped off my racquet yesterday. This 'friend', of course, being Kaiden. Now, of course he couldn't drop by when I'm actually working. That would be too friendly. He drops it by on the ( Read more... ) -
Emotional versus physical
I am unbelievably down today. I have no idea why, but I had to leave my desk for a few minutes to keep from crying at work. Maybe I'm just not getting enough sleep, or maybe something triggered it that I can't identify, or maybe today is just a day that my emotions aren't coping well with. It's moments like these that remind me how powerful my ( Read more... ) -
Taking action
I feel like I need to take action. I'm not sure what to do, but I need to do somethig. The way things are right now is not okay. I need to change them, but I don't know how. There are a thousand things I could do, but how many will really have any level of success? I don't know what I should do. This is the stage where I start taking risks, ( Read more... )