I wish I had someone to blame...

[realitykiller]

It has become more apparent to me lately how much i let other peoples opinions define who i am. How much it matters to me that i look the right way. With this latest bought of weight obession i feel at a loss within myself

Comments

[_replica_]

I let people define me for years. I became what they made me and I let them mold me as they pleased. I guess high school does that to you, but then everyone moves away or just doesn't care anymore about you

[realitykiller]

That is an awesome poem. Somehow poetry just seems to be able to put it all into perspective. Its strange though, i always told myslef i didn't need anyone and would be fine on my own. I laughed at those who needed petty things such as romance and close friends. But at the same time, i was surrounded by people i loved and who loved me back. And now i feel like each person i have met and loved, friend or otherwise, has a piece of me with them, wether they notice it or not. It leaves me feeling sparse, as if there is no longer enough of me left in myself. And having no one to talk to and to go over all of it with makes me realize just how important it really is to have someone there. I guess maybe thats one of those lessons you learn to late and have to live with.

Miss you too.

(miss all of you)

[realitykiller]

P.S I love your icon!

[nin_veleth]

Obsessed with each and every pound, with each inch of my body, each calorie i consume? Or will i find another vice, another unhealthy destructive obbession.

i know exactly what you mean. i've become a little obsessive over my weight and i've dropped ten pounds in the last month. that's probably not good considering i did it by not eating very much. i wish i could just accept the way i am (and others too).

[realitykiller]

yes, weight is something i am rarely able to get over. And when i do, its only because something even more unhealthy such as drugs is clouding my mind. Drugs are the only thing that have ever been able to truely feel comfortable with myself and my body. I guess that is something i should learn to do on my own but honestly, i haven't a clue where to start. One of these days....

-bow down to the allmighty SNAIL COW-