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I should let you go...
It's not what everyone thinks of when they think of love. It's not what they expect it to be. It’s not the hand-holding, snuggling up at night and falling asleep together kind of love. It’s not an ache to make passionate love, or to live happily-ever-after with her, but it’s the strongest thing I’ve ever felt. It doesn’t make sense to me. I have ( Read more... ) -
At Least I Loved Enough to Hurt
I remember everything. I remember the way you looked from across the street the first time I saw you, before we met, as I was getting on the bus. I remember those green eyes, tinged with yellow the first day we hung out. I remember out first date and the things you said that made me realize that I wanted to be with you. I remember how terrified you ( Read more... ) -
My Peace
I think it's finally my turn at peace. I'm working so hard at it. I see so many bright things in my future. I'm happy. Good things are outweighing the bad things. It's about time! Even the shittiest stuff right now isn't so shitty. I think that's the way it should be. I'm going to start every day with a new mantra- My plate may be full, but my ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I really hate the expression, "What people do in their own bedroom is their own business." When I'm in a relationship, when I'm in love, it infiltrates my ENTIRE life. I am not just in love when we're having sex. I'm in love all the time. I want to talk about my partner like other women talk about their husbands. I want to feel safe holding her ( Read more... ) -
Breaking the Habit
I realized something the other night on the way home from my new 8:30-5, M-F job, doing Data-Entry out in Milford. I realized that it had been over a month since I had an argument with anyone. A real argument. And even then, the last one I had as in text. I haven't been seriously pissed at anyone particular and gone off on them, or put them through ( Read more... ) -
Still getting to me
It's been almost give months now. I am doing so much better. I don't really miss you that often now. I hear a song occasionally and I can't listen to it. I switch to the next song on the playlist. I had to get rid of some of those songs that were "our" songs. I just can't do it. I'm trying to find happiness. You won't believe this- I got the ( Read more... ) -
I'm Moving On
I'm so lonely tonight. I've been without a voice for a few days now. Sick but not quite sure with what. Tomorrow I'll probably go to work but I won't be able to talk so I don't know why other than to show I'm making an attempt. I can't be without three days on my next paycheck with the post Christmas slowdown hitting it. I'm LONELY ( Read more... ) -
Working on me, not you...
I have been going through our break up thinking about how you would feel if you knew what I was going through, giving a damn when you don't or can't. I don't want to and honestly don't know if I'll be able to really heal until I know how you are. But you won't let me know. We've been apart for over three, going on four months now. I want to cry ( Read more... ) -
Will you be...
Will you be strong for me? With me? Will you take my hand and lead me to a place where I can stand? Will you hold me up when I fall to my knees and lift me up when I fall at your feet to look me in the eyes and tell me that's not how we love, not how we will live ( Read more... ) -
Trying...
I'm not sure what to do. I'm trying to move on... the nightmare haunts me. I try to let it go... to let you go. I can't. It isn't fair to get into something with someone with you still on my mind. I'm not ready. I feel sometimes that I am and want to make the move forward, maybe ask her out, but most of the time, I know how cruel that would be. To ( Read more... )