I am in a supreme whipped cream dream funk. Unhappy with my job, uncomfortable at home, dreams filled with nightmares and days off filled with apathy
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of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the mostreauxbotSeptember 29 2004, 02:01:34 UTC
I reply to your message because it gives me the opportunity to be the caring one, not the weak needy one. Maybe we should have a suicide pact.
Dooring the club tonight I thought about running off and killing myself while all my roommates were out, but then I thought about all the reasons I can't and felt really really sorry for myself. And cried. Until Cindy, the bisexual homeless woman at the club tonight, came up and started babbling. Then I hid my tears.
Re: of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the mostsammishndahouseSeptember 29 2004, 09:03:39 UTC
that can be arranged, should be arranged. i cried six times last night but there wasnt anyone to get all up in my face and make me want to hide it or stop. i'm making an appointment with a counselor/therapist today, and also one with an m.d. i feel like i'm giving up because i dont know what to do anymore, but oh well. have you thought about seeing someone about it? i'm kind of praying for a thyroid problem (its in my family and is [in part] the cause of my dad and grandma's depression/sluggishness/tiredness), but i think it might be more (since my dad is always in some way depressed and my grandma has impressive attempted-suidice and psychiatric ward records.) my family history is not giving me hope at all.
okay reaux, there will be no killing ourselves. you cant do it cos im counting on you not to, and vice versa. i'm going to be visiting the weekend of the 8th (thats like 9 days or something). we should be miserable together or something.
not for you, but because I'm a pussyreauxbotSeptember 30 2004, 02:22:54 UTC
Hey, okay...
No killing ourselves. It's agreed. Wish I had done it rather than come on this LJ and sob about it... Because I am pussy enough to have done so, okay.
Please come and visit. Let's commiserate. However its spelled. Two kinds of tears are better than one. Call me. If I'm not dead I'll pick up...
Reaux
p.s. is there something in the air or am I the only one who feels like there is this great awful cloud hanging overhead? I know you feel it... Something's in the air. Maybe its yom kippur (the jewish new year) or all the psychic shit that comes with it... But there's very little keeping me from downing that bottle of acetometephines (however that's spelled too)... I yelled out yesterday that I wasn't going to be conquered by whatever this is that's bogging me down but maybe just maybe I was wrong...
Comments 13
I hope life gets better for you soon. :)
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keep on truckin' sista!
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Dooring the club tonight I thought about running off and killing myself while all my roommates were out, but then I thought about all the reasons I can't and felt really really sorry for myself. And cried. Until Cindy, the bisexual homeless woman at the club tonight, came up and started babbling. Then I hid my tears.
God, I'm pathetic...
Reply
okay reaux, there will be no killing ourselves. you cant do it cos im counting on you not to, and vice versa. i'm going to be visiting the weekend of the 8th (thats like 9 days or something). we should be miserable together or something.
Reply
No killing ourselves. It's agreed. Wish I had done it rather than come on this LJ and sob about it... Because I am pussy enough to have done so, okay.
Please come and visit. Let's commiserate. However its spelled. Two kinds of tears are better than one. Call me. If I'm not dead I'll pick up...
Reaux
p.s. is there something in the air or am I the only one who feels like there is this great awful cloud hanging overhead? I know you feel it... Something's in the air. Maybe its yom kippur (the jewish new year) or all the psychic shit that comes with it... But there's very little keeping me from downing that bottle of acetometephines (however that's spelled too)... I yelled out yesterday that I wasn't going to be conquered by whatever this is that's bogging me down but maybe just maybe I was wrong...
Reply
You can always try the happy drugs.
Works wonders for me.
My life has been one long poop chute till a few months ago....
Just a thought.
A lot of the time boys make the mistake of offering advice instead of sympathy.
If I made that mistake.... well I can sympathize with your feelings as well. Hang in there. :-|
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