Merlinspam of Pretty Part 2
And again. The second half of Episode 2, in all its glorious prettiness. Part 1 is here.
Woah, lips. I can see Bam's point.
Meanwhile, Merlin sneaks into Bam’s chambers.
He might actually be part elf.
He does some fancy sword-swinging and beheads one of the snakes. I’d be disturbed about him picking up snake heads with his bare hands except, well, it’s just so rubbery looking.
He takes it back to Gaius, and Gaius gets started on an antidote. If I were him I’d keep that hair as far away from fire as possible. It looks mighty flammable.
Merlin, meanwhile, runs off to tell Arthur about all the things he’s been up to. Arthur is sceptical.
Very sceptical. Merlin is whispering at the start of this scene. I’m not too sure why. Maybe someone once told him that his voice sounded sexier like that (and if anyone deserves to hear Merlin’s sexy whisper, it’s Arthur). Oh, that needs to be a fic.
Merlin’s all no seriously, I did kill a snake. It was THIS BIG and it totally had my head in its mouth and I was like SWISH and it was epic.
Let us all stop for a moment and admire the wonderful creation that is Arthur’s bracelet. I’m not usually a fan of male jewellery, but this just works.
Arthur looks out the window. I’m not sure whether he’s checking for people listening in the courtyard below, or whether he thinks it’s more interesting than anything Merlin has to say. Or perhaps he just wants more of his face on the screen. I know I do.
Have you ever seen any snakes like this in Camelot? What, you mean fake rubber ones? Funnily enough, no.
There’s nothing quite like bonding over the head of a magical shield snake.
Merlin says I know I’m just a servant and my word doesn’t count for anything. Arthur’s all it counts to me, Merlin. It counts to me.
I wouldn’t lie to you. Except for the whole thing about me having magic and all. But that doesn’t really count, right?
Arthur decides to believe Merlin, and Merlin’s back to whispering again. Oh, imagine all the things they got up to as soon as the cameras stopped rolling. Arthur would have shown Merlin exactly what Merlin’s whispering does to him.
Arthur realises that Merlin dashed out without his neckerchief on. Eyes up here, Arthur.
Then it’s morning and Arthur is confronting Bam, while Gaius molests poor Sir Purple.
He’s awake! He’s all snake, shield, what? Gaius tries to hold him down. No means no, Gaius.
Then Gaius wanders off and it’s Sir Purple vs. Shield Snake, Round 2. Sir Purple doesn’t fare too well.
Arthur accuses Bam of magic. Merlin’s all yeah, take that! Whatcha got to say for yourself, big man?
Uther’s all whattt?! Nooo, it can’t be! Not again!
Bam denies everything. There is a ridiculous amount of denial in this show. Denial doesn’t help anyone, people.
Merlin brings forth the Rubber. Arthur’s totally looking right at you, audience. Be afraid.
Arthur unsheathes his sword as Uther examines the shield. Bam’s all like you’ve got to be kidding, Arthur. I’m not stupid enough to show Uther the snakes. He’d kick me out of Camelot, and all I want to do is belong. And have some power. And kill you and do nasty things to your dead body. But that’s not too unreasonable a dream, now, is it?
Arthur doesn’t approve. Oh hai, Merlin, where you looking?
How could you ever distrust that face?
Arthur can't lie. He possesses the elusive Jawline of Truth.
But then Merlin tells Arthur that Sir Purple (whose name was apparently Ewan. Who knew?) has left the world of the living behind.
Arthur’s all like Ooooh. That’s not going to end well for me now, is it? The guy in the back agrees.
He mentions his servant, and discovers that Daddy doesn’t think as highly of Merlin as he does. It’s fair enough, really. It’s not as though Merlin’s ever done anything useful, like saving Arthur’s life, or anything.
Oh, Morgana’s still around? She doesn’t get much to say this episode. The camera shows her looking worried every so often just so we know she hasn’t run off with Sir Purple to the Land of Sugary Goodness or wherever it is that he’s gone.
Uther is not impressed. Not in the least. He sort of reminds me of a bulldog.
Arthur’s all Daddy. Daddy! Why don’t you ever believe me? I’m a bigger character in this show than Bam is, don’t you think that I’m probably right?
Uther has some misguided ideas about Bam’s gallantry and honour (in that he believes that Bam actually possesses gallantry and honour). There’s a lot of facepalming going on in the audience. It’s just as well none of the magicians in the kingdom possess any sort of team spirit, because if more than one of them attacked Camelot at once then Uther would end up deader than a dead thing.
Arthur is pretty when he’s devastated. Bam suggests that Arthur’s too afraid to fight, and Arthur’s all pft, as if. Bring it on.
Meanwhile, Merlin gets manhandled and looks pretty.
Aw, Arthur.
Arthur leaves, and Merlin and Bam do some baleful glaring before Merlin storms off after Arthur.
Now would be a good time to lend some support, Gaius. Be a player, not a spectator!
Arthur has a good long Let’s Blame This On Merlin rant. Which is probably very cathartic for him, but really, it isn’t Merlin’s fault Sir Purple carked it.
I know it didn’t go exactly to plan. No duh, Merlin. Merlin’s optimism does nothing to sooth Arthur’s wounded pride.
His pretty face, on the other hand, helps Arthur calm down quite a lot.
Or not.
Merlin gets fired. I wish the wind had changed right as he was making this face, because it’s the prettiest Seriously, What the Hell?! face that I’ve ever seen.
But then again, it’s probably good that it didn’t, or we would never have seen this one.
He goes for a quick trip down to Advice Central, and does a lot of yelling into thin air.
He’s sounding very Irish in this scene. Which I’m not really bothered by at all, because Irish accents are quite lovely. Merlin probably picked one up while on a summer holiday there, or something. Medieval people totally went on holiday, didn’t they?
The slashdragon takes a very long time to come out of hiding. I really don’t want to know what he does to amuse himself down there.
When he finally appears, he says that a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole. Which is very romantic and all, but isn’t really the practical advice Merlin was looking for.
Merlin wants things the easy way. The dragon is all Straight answer? You want a straight answer? Go tell Arthur you love him, you idiot. How’s that for straight?
Wait, what?! But the dragon’s already bailed. I bet he’s got a cage of small humans tied up in the top of his cavern and he lets them out every so often so that they can act out Arthur and Merlin Scenes of Love. It’s certainly a possibility.
Merlin goes to mope on the stairs, and Gwen gets some speaking parts.
Merlin’s all it’s totally not my problem anymore. I need some time to brood, okay? Arthur practically dumped me.
But then, just when all seemed lost, he gets another one of his not-so brilliant ideas. Which apparently involves hugging animal statues.
Gwen just stands by and watches. I think this is the sort of friendship where one of the pair (namely, Gwen) is fairly normal, but doesn’t seem at all fazed when the other person starts jumping off the tops of houses or beating up small children with inflatable dinosaurs or dragging animal statues around the castle courtyard, and when people ask why she’s letting him do that she’s all oh, it’s okay, that’s just Merlin which explains both everything and nothing at all.
Merlin does some wheelbarrowing.
Ahaha, Gaius, I actually had an idea! A real idea! Mummy's going to be so proud!
But his magic is being temperamental. He should just try using it instinctually, or however he did it all through the first episode.
Or he could just stand on the table. I’m sure the angle at which you perform the spell is really, really vital.
Meanwhile, Morgana gets nightmares and Arthur practices sword fighting in the dark.
Merlin makes sure that the dog isn’t actually alive and just really, really good at standing still. Sadly, this isn’t the case.
He swings by Arthur's room to tell the prince not to fight in the morning. But Arthur's all I have to fight him. I have to die for my pride. He chooses to be noble about the oddest things.
Merlin’s got his That’s Stupid But Also Kind Of Makes Me Respect You, You Prat face on.
Arthur is left alone with the dark closing in. The future waits dark and heavy before him, and he stands solemn and still before the swift-approaching end.
At least that’s what I’m reading this shot as. It could also just be Arthur stands on a fluffy flat polar bear while Merlin leaves his room.
Then it’s morning, and Bam is ready to rock.
Arthur takes his last look around Camelot. He’s all oh, sun, this is the last time I gaze upon your yellow sphere of goodness. Please don’t burn Merlin too much after I’m gone, I don’t want to look down from heaven and see wrinkles all over his pretty face.
Then Morgana comes in to help Arthur get dressed (since Merlin isn’t there to do it). Morgana says be careful, and Arthur’s all I’ll see you at the feast. It’s actually quite a lovely moment. Morgana’s convinced Arthur’s going out there to die, Arthur believes the same, and there isn’t that much they can say to each other to change that, but neither one wants to admit it.
Oh, the angsty pretty.
Oh, the slightly more cheerful pretty.
And Morgana's not looking too bad herself.
Arthur slo-mo struts his way out to the tournament ground.
This is Arthur’s you’re probably a sorcerer and probably want to kill me, but my daddy likes you better than me so I’m going to fight you anyway face.
This is Bam’s I hear you, sister, and I’d really rather not fight you because you’re pretty Prince Arthur and therefore you’ll kill me, but it’s in the script so I don’t have much of a choice face.
Meanwhile, Merlin’s spell finally works. He’s all I did it! OHMYGOD I CAN DO MAGIC! Which we all kind of knew already. We had faith in you all along, Merlin, bb.
HOSHIT A DOG. The show features yet another piece of badly-thought-through magic.
Meanwhile, down at the tournament, things are heating up.
Merlin realises this and comes out to watch. Apparently, whenever the costume peoples want to convey that Merlin has just hastily rushed from one place to another, they leave his neckerchief off.
Arthur’s getting a tad molested. Feel free to intervene any day now, Merlin.
Eventually, he does. Oooh, Bam’s in trouble now. But then again, Merlin waited until Arthur had no helmet, no shield and no sword, so Arthur’s now in trouble too.
Arthur flails around for a bit until Morgana takes pity on him and chucks him a sword. Luckily, he knows how to catch.
Ah, Bam dies. Did we ever find out what he actually wanted? Because as far as I’m aware, all he was aiming to do was win the tournament. And Arthur’s heart. On a plate. With a large helping of anachronistic tomato sauce.
This looks less like a victory face and more like a Not this again, I’m so sick of winning all the time, now I have to take Morgana to the feast type of a face. Though I suppose he did just kill a man, so it’d stand to reason that he’d be a little unhappy.
Merlin’s like my prince brings all the glory to the yard. Damn right, he’s better than yours. It's very true.
Then it’s the feast and Arthur and Morgana realise that since neither of them is going to die in the near future, they can stop being nice to each other. Arthur’s all haha yeah, right, Morgana. I totally didn’t need that sword you threw at me. I’m Prince Arthur, I kill snakes with my bare hands.
Boys are totally better than girls! Wooo! Boy Power! I can see why Arthur likes men. He probably insulted all of the women within five hundred miles of Camelot.
Though to be fair, if this really is set in medieval times then I think that attitude was sort of normal. It’s just not normal for the show to actually include something historically accurate.
Then Arthur goes to talk to Merlin. He's all hey, so I just realised that all that stuff that happened? Yeah, kinda not your fault. And I’ve now pissed off my date, so come dance.
Merlin gets optimistic again. Buy me a drink and we’ll call it even. I don’t even need slash goggles for this one.
Arthur’s all dude, I can’t really do that. But it’s alright, because Merlin has several other very interesting ideas for how Arthur could make it up to him.
Arthur lists all of the things that Merlin needs to do for him. And someone needs to muck out my stables. Merlin is most certainly the right man for that particular job, Arthur.
Aw. True love conquers all, folks.
And that brings us - finally - to the end of another episode. All caps are mine, which explains why there are so many of them. And this was rather enormous, wasn't it? Ah, well. Happy New Year, everyone :)
Woah, lips. I can see Bam's point.
Meanwhile, Merlin sneaks into Bam’s chambers.
He might actually be part elf.
He does some fancy sword-swinging and beheads one of the snakes. I’d be disturbed about him picking up snake heads with his bare hands except, well, it’s just so rubbery looking.
He takes it back to Gaius, and Gaius gets started on an antidote. If I were him I’d keep that hair as far away from fire as possible. It looks mighty flammable.
Merlin, meanwhile, runs off to tell Arthur about all the things he’s been up to. Arthur is sceptical.
Very sceptical. Merlin is whispering at the start of this scene. I’m not too sure why. Maybe someone once told him that his voice sounded sexier like that (and if anyone deserves to hear Merlin’s sexy whisper, it’s Arthur). Oh, that needs to be a fic.
Merlin’s all no seriously, I did kill a snake. It was THIS BIG and it totally had my head in its mouth and I was like SWISH and it was epic.
Let us all stop for a moment and admire the wonderful creation that is Arthur’s bracelet. I’m not usually a fan of male jewellery, but this just works.
Arthur looks out the window. I’m not sure whether he’s checking for people listening in the courtyard below, or whether he thinks it’s more interesting than anything Merlin has to say. Or perhaps he just wants more of his face on the screen. I know I do.
Have you ever seen any snakes like this in Camelot? What, you mean fake rubber ones? Funnily enough, no.
There’s nothing quite like bonding over the head of a magical shield snake.
Merlin says I know I’m just a servant and my word doesn’t count for anything. Arthur’s all it counts to me, Merlin. It counts to me.
I wouldn’t lie to you. Except for the whole thing about me having magic and all. But that doesn’t really count, right?
Arthur decides to believe Merlin, and Merlin’s back to whispering again. Oh, imagine all the things they got up to as soon as the cameras stopped rolling. Arthur would have shown Merlin exactly what Merlin’s whispering does to him.
Arthur realises that Merlin dashed out without his neckerchief on. Eyes up here, Arthur.
Then it’s morning and Arthur is confronting Bam, while Gaius molests poor Sir Purple.
He’s awake! He’s all snake, shield, what? Gaius tries to hold him down. No means no, Gaius.
Then Gaius wanders off and it’s Sir Purple vs. Shield Snake, Round 2. Sir Purple doesn’t fare too well.
Arthur accuses Bam of magic. Merlin’s all yeah, take that! Whatcha got to say for yourself, big man?
Uther’s all whattt?! Nooo, it can’t be! Not again!
Bam denies everything. There is a ridiculous amount of denial in this show. Denial doesn’t help anyone, people.
Merlin brings forth the Rubber. Arthur’s totally looking right at you, audience. Be afraid.
Arthur unsheathes his sword as Uther examines the shield. Bam’s all like you’ve got to be kidding, Arthur. I’m not stupid enough to show Uther the snakes. He’d kick me out of Camelot, and all I want to do is belong. And have some power. And kill you and do nasty things to your dead body. But that’s not too unreasonable a dream, now, is it?
Arthur doesn’t approve. Oh hai, Merlin, where you looking?
How could you ever distrust that face?
Arthur can't lie. He possesses the elusive Jawline of Truth.
But then Merlin tells Arthur that Sir Purple (whose name was apparently Ewan. Who knew?) has left the world of the living behind.
Arthur’s all like Ooooh. That’s not going to end well for me now, is it? The guy in the back agrees.
He mentions his servant, and discovers that Daddy doesn’t think as highly of Merlin as he does. It’s fair enough, really. It’s not as though Merlin’s ever done anything useful, like saving Arthur’s life, or anything.
Oh, Morgana’s still around? She doesn’t get much to say this episode. The camera shows her looking worried every so often just so we know she hasn’t run off with Sir Purple to the Land of Sugary Goodness or wherever it is that he’s gone.
Uther is not impressed. Not in the least. He sort of reminds me of a bulldog.
Arthur’s all Daddy. Daddy! Why don’t you ever believe me? I’m a bigger character in this show than Bam is, don’t you think that I’m probably right?
Uther has some misguided ideas about Bam’s gallantry and honour (in that he believes that Bam actually possesses gallantry and honour). There’s a lot of facepalming going on in the audience. It’s just as well none of the magicians in the kingdom possess any sort of team spirit, because if more than one of them attacked Camelot at once then Uther would end up deader than a dead thing.
Arthur is pretty when he’s devastated. Bam suggests that Arthur’s too afraid to fight, and Arthur’s all pft, as if. Bring it on.
Meanwhile, Merlin gets manhandled and looks pretty.
Aw, Arthur.
Arthur leaves, and Merlin and Bam do some baleful glaring before Merlin storms off after Arthur.
Now would be a good time to lend some support, Gaius. Be a player, not a spectator!
Arthur has a good long Let’s Blame This On Merlin rant. Which is probably very cathartic for him, but really, it isn’t Merlin’s fault Sir Purple carked it.
I know it didn’t go exactly to plan. No duh, Merlin. Merlin’s optimism does nothing to sooth Arthur’s wounded pride.
His pretty face, on the other hand, helps Arthur calm down quite a lot.
Or not.
Merlin gets fired. I wish the wind had changed right as he was making this face, because it’s the prettiest Seriously, What the Hell?! face that I’ve ever seen.
But then again, it’s probably good that it didn’t, or we would never have seen this one.
He goes for a quick trip down to Advice Central, and does a lot of yelling into thin air.
He’s sounding very Irish in this scene. Which I’m not really bothered by at all, because Irish accents are quite lovely. Merlin probably picked one up while on a summer holiday there, or something. Medieval people totally went on holiday, didn’t they?
The slashdragon takes a very long time to come out of hiding. I really don’t want to know what he does to amuse himself down there.
When he finally appears, he says that a half cannot truly hate that which makes it whole. Which is very romantic and all, but isn’t really the practical advice Merlin was looking for.
Merlin wants things the easy way. The dragon is all Straight answer? You want a straight answer? Go tell Arthur you love him, you idiot. How’s that for straight?
Wait, what?! But the dragon’s already bailed. I bet he’s got a cage of small humans tied up in the top of his cavern and he lets them out every so often so that they can act out Arthur and Merlin Scenes of Love. It’s certainly a possibility.
Merlin goes to mope on the stairs, and Gwen gets some speaking parts.
Merlin’s all it’s totally not my problem anymore. I need some time to brood, okay? Arthur practically dumped me.
But then, just when all seemed lost, he gets another one of his not-so brilliant ideas. Which apparently involves hugging animal statues.
Gwen just stands by and watches. I think this is the sort of friendship where one of the pair (namely, Gwen) is fairly normal, but doesn’t seem at all fazed when the other person starts jumping off the tops of houses or beating up small children with inflatable dinosaurs or dragging animal statues around the castle courtyard, and when people ask why she’s letting him do that she’s all oh, it’s okay, that’s just Merlin which explains both everything and nothing at all.
Merlin does some wheelbarrowing.
Ahaha, Gaius, I actually had an idea! A real idea! Mummy's going to be so proud!
But his magic is being temperamental. He should just try using it instinctually, or however he did it all through the first episode.
Or he could just stand on the table. I’m sure the angle at which you perform the spell is really, really vital.
Meanwhile, Morgana gets nightmares and Arthur practices sword fighting in the dark.
Merlin makes sure that the dog isn’t actually alive and just really, really good at standing still. Sadly, this isn’t the case.
He swings by Arthur's room to tell the prince not to fight in the morning. But Arthur's all I have to fight him. I have to die for my pride. He chooses to be noble about the oddest things.
Merlin’s got his That’s Stupid But Also Kind Of Makes Me Respect You, You Prat face on.
Arthur is left alone with the dark closing in. The future waits dark and heavy before him, and he stands solemn and still before the swift-approaching end.
At least that’s what I’m reading this shot as. It could also just be Arthur stands on a fluffy flat polar bear while Merlin leaves his room.
Then it’s morning, and Bam is ready to rock.
Arthur takes his last look around Camelot. He’s all oh, sun, this is the last time I gaze upon your yellow sphere of goodness. Please don’t burn Merlin too much after I’m gone, I don’t want to look down from heaven and see wrinkles all over his pretty face.
Then Morgana comes in to help Arthur get dressed (since Merlin isn’t there to do it). Morgana says be careful, and Arthur’s all I’ll see you at the feast. It’s actually quite a lovely moment. Morgana’s convinced Arthur’s going out there to die, Arthur believes the same, and there isn’t that much they can say to each other to change that, but neither one wants to admit it.
Oh, the angsty pretty.
Oh, the slightly more cheerful pretty.
And Morgana's not looking too bad herself.
Arthur slo-mo struts his way out to the tournament ground.
This is Arthur’s you’re probably a sorcerer and probably want to kill me, but my daddy likes you better than me so I’m going to fight you anyway face.
This is Bam’s I hear you, sister, and I’d really rather not fight you because you’re pretty Prince Arthur and therefore you’ll kill me, but it’s in the script so I don’t have much of a choice face.
Meanwhile, Merlin’s spell finally works. He’s all I did it! OHMYGOD I CAN DO MAGIC! Which we all kind of knew already. We had faith in you all along, Merlin, bb.
HOSHIT A DOG. The show features yet another piece of badly-thought-through magic.
Meanwhile, down at the tournament, things are heating up.
Merlin realises this and comes out to watch. Apparently, whenever the costume peoples want to convey that Merlin has just hastily rushed from one place to another, they leave his neckerchief off.
Arthur’s getting a tad molested. Feel free to intervene any day now, Merlin.
Eventually, he does. Oooh, Bam’s in trouble now. But then again, Merlin waited until Arthur had no helmet, no shield and no sword, so Arthur’s now in trouble too.
Arthur flails around for a bit until Morgana takes pity on him and chucks him a sword. Luckily, he knows how to catch.
Ah, Bam dies. Did we ever find out what he actually wanted? Because as far as I’m aware, all he was aiming to do was win the tournament. And Arthur’s heart. On a plate. With a large helping of anachronistic tomato sauce.
This looks less like a victory face and more like a Not this again, I’m so sick of winning all the time, now I have to take Morgana to the feast type of a face. Though I suppose he did just kill a man, so it’d stand to reason that he’d be a little unhappy.
Merlin’s like my prince brings all the glory to the yard. Damn right, he’s better than yours. It's very true.
Then it’s the feast and Arthur and Morgana realise that since neither of them is going to die in the near future, they can stop being nice to each other. Arthur’s all haha yeah, right, Morgana. I totally didn’t need that sword you threw at me. I’m Prince Arthur, I kill snakes with my bare hands.
Boys are totally better than girls! Wooo! Boy Power! I can see why Arthur likes men. He probably insulted all of the women within five hundred miles of Camelot.
Though to be fair, if this really is set in medieval times then I think that attitude was sort of normal. It’s just not normal for the show to actually include something historically accurate.
Then Arthur goes to talk to Merlin. He's all hey, so I just realised that all that stuff that happened? Yeah, kinda not your fault. And I’ve now pissed off my date, so come dance.
Merlin gets optimistic again. Buy me a drink and we’ll call it even. I don’t even need slash goggles for this one.
Arthur’s all dude, I can’t really do that. But it’s alright, because Merlin has several other very interesting ideas for how Arthur could make it up to him.
Arthur lists all of the things that Merlin needs to do for him. And someone needs to muck out my stables. Merlin is most certainly the right man for that particular job, Arthur.
Aw. True love conquers all, folks.
And that brings us - finally - to the end of another episode. All caps are mine, which explains why there are so many of them. And this was rather enormous, wasn't it? Ah, well. Happy New Year, everyone :)