It's all there, still.  It sits inside me, coiled up like a snake.  It blends in, forgotten, camouflaged so I forget it's there; I forget until the wrong thought brings me too close.  Then I can hear it, rattling its tail.  Warning me to turn back to more mundane thoughts.  I never do though.  Maybe that's why I've done so much better than most.  I ( Read more... )

Today, as I sat in my little office, searching the internet instead of doing my work, I decided to Google Robert's name. This is something I do on a fairly regular basis when I'm bored. This time I clicked on the first link, his page on arlingtonnationalcemetery.net. The site had been updated quite a bit since I'd last checked it. I scrolled ( Read more... )

CS/SB 122 - Tuition Waivers/Purple Heart ( Read more... )

After Robert died they held a solemn memorial service for him at the compound. They erected the standard remembrance consisting of a rifle with fixed bayonet planted muzzle down in the ground, a kevlar helmet resting atop the butt-stock, a pair of dog-tags hanging from the pistol grip and a pair of boots sitting in front. The flags of Florida and ( Read more... )

While I was in the spanish lab today I noticed that the guy in front of me was wearing a silver bracelet like the one I wear for Wise. I couldn't quite make out the words on it but I could tell it wasn't one of the Wise bracelets and I think I saw the word Nasiriah. Odds are he was a vet like me who'd lost a buddy. I kind of wanted to say ( Read more... )

Yesterday I backed into a parking space in front of a couple of surveyors doing whatever it is they do with that little telescope thing and as I was getting out one of them said "hey are you the purple heart?"

I told him I was and he said "right on... at least I guess it's right on."

I laughed and said that yes, it is right on.

I finally got word that my piece is going to be broadcast this weekend. The show will be on at different times depending on location but it'll be sometime time between friday and sunday and it'll be available on real audio at their website thisamericanlife.com. I don't know how long it'll be but they had me read a few different entries and they ( Read more... )

Last night, as I dried off in front of the bathroom mirror, and the towel covered my chest, I stopped for a moment. I wondered if the tattoo that bears Robert's name was still there. I imagined that if I were to move the towel, then that image of the upturned rifle and ownerless helmet would be gone. Maybe I would be that carefree, bare chested ( Read more... )

When I stopped writing in this journal, I figured that this part of my story was over. I knew that there would be new trials to face as I waited for my discharge and an epic journey through the bowels of the veterans administration as I sought my disability claim; still, I figured Baghdad was behind me and so I moved on to my mundane journal. ( Read more... )

Last Night I had a dream. I made a wish that things had been different, that Robert and I had never Switched places that morning. As I wished this, a deep bellowing caw cut through the air and A crow flew down from the dusk sky to light on my arm.( Read more... )