if you live here long enough, everything becomes a story

dream by love/arthur lee

the entire left wall of the living room is glass, pushed back by a mammoth spanish oak. open the window: manic green floods the carpet, flypapers the walls, which are still bare, save the green, the stuff of summer in decline. tell me, please, if there's a way to revert back to rage; degrade this silence into such a state of incoherency, violence ( Read more... )

my favorite part of nijinsky’s diaries: the almost indistinguishable shift between what is horrifying and totally ordinary.

"I am standing in front of a precipice into which I may fall, but I am not afraid to fall and therefore will not fall. God does not want me to fall, because He understands me whenever I fall. I went for a walk once, and it ( Read more... )

ten am, swamped in sweat, we left for california. car packed to its outer limits; every window blocked, mirrors visible only if squinting. the first day we drove 800 miles through mississippi’s rotted maw into shreveport, louisiana. checked-in at the hotel; the clerk cleared his throat: you know yr late you know yr really really late. on the ( Read more... )

home sunday night: half-peeled moon, humidity almost holy. while we were away, the cat gained three pounds; i, six. our hotel bordered an abandoned car-lot offset by motionless palm fronds. for the first three days: searing migraines, tempered only by sex & tripel sec. enter the flu. plowed through an entire box of tissues in two hours, mixed ( Read more... )

In the first place, Adam knew Eve as a wild animal knows its mate, momentaneously, but vitally, in blood-knowledge. Blood-knowledge, not mind-knowledge. Blood-knowledge, that seems utterly to forget, but doesn't. Blood-knowledge, instinct, intuition, all the vast vital flux of knowing that goes on in the dark, antecedent to the mind.

Then came that ( Read more... )

the silence lurches forward, thumbs out whatever thought, feeling. body blown, wrought past the edge of exhaustion. a single word could snuff me. a single slash of light. every star burned from its belly outward. through the window, on the sill, fruit flies swarm, spill out onto the floorboards. an almost accomplished despair. as if i had prepared ( Read more... )

holed up in the back bedroom, windows flung open, tongue salt-swollen. i sweat through my jeans, sweat my way into a deep deep sleep. ten hours later, wake: cat pawing my face, phone ringing off the hook. hello? my sister with news of her engagement. you forgot to say congratulations. the phone rings and rings. i stagger down the hall to stand, ( Read more... )

( I HAVE DEVOTED MY LIFE TO THE CLITORIS, updated )