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Comments 20

rabbitlight May 3 2009, 18:38:51 UTC
god i wish i could give you feedback,
cos i love this piece;
this version is much much better than the first,
though i couldn't tell you why.
ah dunno, i just love it.

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(The comment has been removed)

recalescence May 4 2009, 13:42:43 UTC
the second portion started out as prose, but i almost immediately put in line-breaks. it didn’t really occur to my until yr comment to try it w/o the breaks. i’m still playing around with the whole thing so its def something i’ll try.

thanks for yr suggestions

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townsfolk May 3 2009, 22:35:48 UTC
love these

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recalescence May 4 2009, 13:47:27 UTC
thank you :)

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salamanderrrr May 4 2009, 02:06:51 UTC
so,

1 was really great to read after just devouring the Unvert Manifesto (which you posted, which I vaguely recall reading a long time ago, and am SO glad to have it back in my life even though I didn't notice it ever left, so thank you.) I loved it (1.)

2 is beautiful.

3 is my favorite. i love the drug references, acid for a toothache! :) and ecstasy and obscenity. fits nicely, all of it together.

your work is quite special.

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recalescence May 6 2009, 14:52:35 UTC
i love unvert manifesto. i had read it somewhere a few months ago & forgot about it until i re-discovered it over a upenn's spicer page.

'acid for a toothache' is a reference to steve webber of the holy modal rounders. the other night i watched the documentary bound to lose whic leads the viewer to believe that webber took acid (& a bunch of other shit) for all kinds of minor aches & pains. throughout the documentary, webber delivers several priceless monologues.

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subsoil May 4 2009, 05:28:32 UTC
the differing indentations in 2 - !!!! oh dude it's so good! & 3, too!

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subsoil May 8 2009, 00:35:24 UTC
subsoil May 8 2009, 02:45:00 UTC
you & yr deleting! lucky i get email. anyway i know what you mean about the first (re: overt) but also agree it needs to be there for everything else; maybe rearrange something so the first third is in a different place, or is preceded by something else? dunno, it is question marky. we will debate!

anyway kind of? but i didn't know it'd look like that! grumbly at that other person above (joking-style!) because i was thinking they might be right about the last line, but i just really like how it looks there physically?... &then i don't know that it's too predictable, just that it doesn't resolve, is more a leading forward than anything, & maybe that's actually good for leading into 3? maybe? i think as the end to a single piece it would be a problem, but that's not what it is.

i'm excited for the package, so so!

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marjoram May 13 2009, 21:53:07 UTC
bad news: i did not get to the post office before it closed last wednesday, which is the only day i can do anything. today was a bust as well. but! i requested to leave work early friday so it will be in the mail then. i hate promising things then having to pussy out. i've had the goddamn thing ready to go for a weeks!

p.s. you do have a way to play dvds, right?

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