(i love her. i fucking love her ( Read more... )

yeah. no. i want to go back to not caring. is that okay? i think it is.

i see, said the blind man.

fuck this scene.

i dont know what i want, but i know it isnt this. im going to have to make a change.
fuck.

i guess you never really know until you know. and i mean, know for sure. i never knew how bad it had gotten. i never wanted to know. ( Read more... )

im beginning to hate high maintenance people. today, which was a good day, turned very quickly into a bad day. and i dont know why. strange sequence of events for sure. but at least the computer is fixed, and i got the whole thing worked out. but i find that being nicer to people doesnt really do much. the diner was awesome, and im glad drew and ( Read more... )

i find myself witholding. im in a strange place right now, a new kind. maybe its because im not feeling welcome, or maybe its because i know i need to be independant and im taking it to the extreme. tomorrow i need to do something. i need to get out. even if its dangerous to go alone, fuck it. maybe its just that people arent who they used to be, ( Read more... )

its like as soon as i heard those three words, i stalled. turn the key, start back up, come on... and then i threw them back at you and threw you out the door so as to numb how much feeling was in them. or wasnt. but like a band-aid, quick and painful/painless. the sun will come up in a few short hours, and i still wont know which it was. (painless ( Read more... )

clear the page, i need something blank. i need to write this out so i will always remember, document this for the few that may come after. i mean otherwise, how will they know? technically speaking, one may never know. i could possibly never know what im really feeling and thinking. and that scares me. but maybe not knowing is better. because once ( Read more... )

THATS BECAUSE IT REALLY IS A VIOLATION. sure, its wrong, and its destructive. but you cannot understand it until you are immersed in it, because only then are you forced to understand what is controlling you. something you began in order to gain control takes a firm grip on you and just leads your life down whichever path you fear the most. this ( Read more... )

i welcome august with open arms and a brand new outlook. my heart is now open, and im going to take this chance because i know if i dont, it just might kill me. so bring on the warm august nights and the crickets that sing me to sleep. im going to miss all of it, and college seems too soon, but i can handle it. i know i can. so here i am rolling ( Read more... )