oh dear lord, so much is going on...tomorrow will make or break alot i think. i'll update then. emeka, steven, psycho roommate, living situation, job. thats all. NO BIG DEAL! haha

so many feelings, and i cant just keep telling ppl in sporatic moments. will have to come back here soon and write it all down...i don't know what to do with all these feelings...i finally don't feel numb, but it doesn't feel good.

i told my mom that geoff boremans girlfriend would end up pregnant before they got married ( Read more... )

that last entry was the first time i've said my mood was "happy" in probably 2 years. this past week i've felt more like myself than in the longest time. i hope it lasts. i'm just happy right now with life :)

writing this only because i want to through away the paper plate i originally wrote it on. haha poem to juan because he likes ducks. it sucks, but who cares...its about a duck for heavens sake!

One little ducky all alone,
Had no place to call his own,
Until one day a boy came along,
And started singing the rubber ducky song!
He sang it loud and all day ( Read more... )

so i'm good again. i promise i'm not bipolar. :p i just have terrible days once in awhile. had a good day even though my stomach hurt. but work was good. it was my dads bday. its too hot in this house to clean my room even at night so its soooooo messy. its a disgrace. oh well...anyway, i smell like Axe from cuddling with juan. haha i love coming ( Read more... )

wow, its been another year and here i am writing about how i'm going to canada next week. crazy. i started my new job as a support aide on 2 North at the hospital. i haven't really had to do anything yet, but i have experienced some awful smells, and thats what i was most worried about. and i seem to be doing ok with it so far. i'm up on the floor ( Read more... )

i've calmed down and am finally getting some relief from this whole depressed/being anxious thing. so thats exciting. i had my interview with the nursing school today and i think that went pretty well. i really just want to want to do that, but i was sitting there and really feeling like i shouldn't be there. and thats not good. but i dont like not ( Read more... )

on nights when i am sad,  Konstantine makes me feel infinite. 

written by me...12/11/05 first poem in a about a year. One Wish
Don't give up now, we've only just begun.
Just take  a seat and please hand me the loaded gun,
Don't kill you dreams when theres a chance they may come true,
Because don't you see that i'm completely in love with you??

I hate how you only see your failure and mistakes,
When everyone ( Read more... )