i really wonder what the hell i think i want or dont want. or my reasoning for anything. i have some of the most skewed and fucked up reasoning of anyone i know ( Read more... )

Every time I start to feel confident, or that things are going my way, another thing to stomp on how I feel comes along. And I see them coming from a mile away. You think I'd be used to it by now. Oh well. Old habits die hard.

Posted via LjBeetle

what to do. weird dreams, concerning texts, and random phone calls ( Read more... )

today is much better than yesterday. even though i skipped a class. whatever. lol.

So this is gonna be my little escape, where I can still get things down but they aren't on Facebook and super public. I haven't really honestly decided how i feel. Actually I do, and its kinda shitty. I'm optimistic about school tho but I really need to crack down. Work is alright. And the rest, we will have to see. Peace out internet.

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This is just bullshit. It's like high school again. Scripted and depressing. I am the best show I know of.

Posted via LjBeetle

It's been a fucking ridiculous past couple weeks. But I honestly am healthy, happy, and taking care of business. Told my roomate he has 30 days to get out. He's psychologically unstable, and i need that out of my life. I actually was proud of myself, I hung out with people on friday and didn't get wasted or super stoned. Saturday I drank a bit ( Read more... )

I'm over not being a good person anymore. I used to enjoy not giving a shit. I don't anymore ( Read more... )

I am slowly and systematically destroying myself.

how typical. my stupid selfserving mental self torture seems to have taken a turn for the worst. and i may have lost one of my best friends over it. let alone the fact i am absolutely terrified of the future, but wish it would come faster. i can't sleep. i can't eat. my imagination is far worse than whats actually happening to me, but then i come ( Read more... )