It all gets so complicated in my head. I take a very simple situation and twist it until its unrecognizable and just generally all fucked up. But damn its so SIMPLE. Just stop. For the love of god JUST STOP. If I dont, I will die. I can already feel it in my heart. I have to stop. Why cant I get it through my head. I AM GOING TO DIE IF I DONT STOP ( Read more... )

why do i expect others to understand me when i hardly understand myself? last night the lead singer of one of the opening bands for 36 crazyfists pointed at me and said "Has everyone seen this goregous thing? Holy shit." the rest of the night every guy around me stared but never said a word ( Read more... )

Why am i not dying? If you feel this terrible, how do your organs keep functioning?

fuck this
go rot

ITALIA!!!!!

the cutest guys always win

I spend all day hearing people talk. They talk about their past, their relationships, their thoughts, and their respective disorders. And fuck it if we arent all essentially the same. Everyone prizes themselves on their individuality or sometimes their ability to fit in, but when you really listen to what makes them up, it sounds oddly familiar. ( Read more... )

My gorgeous british lover is in Teen Vogue with me this month. Ok, so maybe we're not even on the same page but thats ok because ITS DESTINY.

( Read more... )

Its funny how no matter where I go or what I do I will always be the lamest most socially inept person I know.

I should just be a nun. Damnit.

I feel so overwhelmed right now. I met with a Paris agency yesterday, and they said they loved me IF I can get my measurments down. IM TRYING GODDAMNIT. No, I can do this. I leave for Tokyo on May 21st. I need to lose 3 inches off my hips in that time, which is a pound a day, an inch a week. I can do that. I already sent in the contract saying Ill ( Read more... )

So I guess Ive come to realize that everyone is full of shit. Everyone. There is not a damn person in this world that I can trust with anypart of me because nobody gives about anybody but themselves. But thats ok. I can do that. Fuck you all. I hope you all suffer in the nasty rotting shit hole youve created for yourselves.