( I am silly. )

time to sleep time to sleep ( Read more... )

holy crap! freaking out but okay? i can do it!

periodically i get desperate for extra cash and stay up thinking of and listing all the things i own that i could sell. i need to get up early in the morning, but tonight i'm all ruffled looking up what things i could even sell on amazon. perhaps since we have a proper house now, we could actually do a garage sale in the spring? we really need to ( Read more... )

how may i express my frustration? of being stunted? of being kept a child? i no longer can tell if it is still my parents' doing or my own doing. it feels like they instilled so well this self-identification as a child, that even now i expect my brother and father to act protectively and pardon me from adultish tasks of the 'real' world. i mean, ( Read more... )

3:14 am, I just heard a bird chirping outside. I’m eager for spring. a strange thing for me, but i have been moving toward this, in slow shifts. well, for one thing, i want our utility bills to go down, on account of not needing heating. also, i’d like to sit outside in the sun and read, since we have a lawn and a deck now. of course, once i start ( Read more... )

to manage one's appetite, digestion, exercise, and hygiene, and one's finances, property, and professional occupations, social obligations, and one's psychological and spiritual well-beings, even moral or ethical standards, and many such aspects of one person's life -- it seems too much to ask of one person. with myself, my tendency towards - what ( Read more... )

isolation is a compression. it is most claustrophobic.
well, i may start journaling again.
though what i say is not what i mean.

in the process of purging this space, but while it remains, i whine again, for doom and loneliness

Quite a silly thing indeed ( Read more... )